I shat in my underwear while trying to hang myself

[fallingleaves]

I didn't even notice
It's everywhere

 

[mossrabbit]

:(
No one deserves that, least of all when they're suffering. I'm sorry.

 

[fallingleaves]

:(
No one deserves that, least of all when they're suffering. I'm sorry.

Thanks :( I don't want to fucking be here anymore. The people in my life should have been kinder to me. I want to jump off my balcony, but the fall is terrifying. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm in a bath trying to fucking rinse my shitty clothes.

 

[attheend13]

Life has a way of kicking you when you're down I'm sorry that happened

 

[fallingleaves]

Life has a way of kicking you when you're down I'm sorry that happened

It's really unfair, man

 

[mossrabbit]

Thanks :( I don't want to fucking be here anymore. The people in my life should have been kinder to me. I want to jump off my balcony, but the fall is terrifying. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm in a bath trying to fucking rinse my shitty clothes.

You absolutely deserve better, and it's horrible when things become so unbearable you're left reeling just be careful. I read you need a fair amount of height for lethality. And the last thing I would want is for you to be left horribly injured and still in this state. You especially don't deserve that

 

[fallingleaves]

You absolutely deserve better, and it's horrible when things become so unbearable you're left reeling just be careful. I read you need a fair amount of height for lethality. And the last thing I would want is for you to be left horribly injured and still in this state. You especially don't deserve that

My balcony where I live is high enough. Fourteen stories is absolutely high enough.

I just want people to stop hurting me. I want people to treat me with kindness. I'm having a crisis. I deserve love. But I'm all alone.

 

[mossrabbit]

My balcony where I live is high enough. Fourteen stories is absolutely high enough.

I just want people to stop hurting me. I want people to treat me with kindness. I'm having a crisis. I deserve love. But I'm all alone.

That is certainly high enough.
What a horrible feeling you deserve safe and comfortable relationships you can rely on. I wish things were easier. I support your journey, no matter the outcome

 

[fallingleaves]

That is certainly high enough.
What a horrible feeling you deserve safe and comfortable relationships you can rely on. I wish things were easier. I support your journey, no matter the outcome

Help :(

 

[shineboy2k15taliban]

honestly, this is way more common than you might think. when someone is in a situation like attempted hanging, the body can go into full shutdown mode. that includes losing control of your bowels, bladder, and sometimes even nutting involuntary. it's a reflex. part of what's called the "agonal response" or dying reflex. your nervous system basically short-circuits as oxygen gets cut off from your brain, and your muscles, including the ones that control your shit and piss, just release.

it's not something you can control. you didn't "fail" in some weird or embarrassing way. it's just biology doing its thing in a traumatic situation. shitting yourself during something like that isn't shameful, it's a sign your body was overwhelmed and reacting to a life or death moment.

so no, it's not something to be ashamed of. noone chooses how their body reacts under that kind of pressure. hopefully the fact that (hopefully) nobody else was there to witness this can make you feel slightly better.

you're human. you're allowed to be messy, physically and emotionally.


a lesson to be learned here is to use the toilet before you attempt to hang yourself.

 

[fallingleaves]

honestly, this is way more common than you might think. when someone is in a situation like attempted hanging, the body can go into full shutdown mode. that includes losing control of your bowels, bladder, and sometimes even nutting involuntary. it's a reflex. part of what's called the "agonal response" or dying reflex. your nervous system basically short-circuits as oxygen gets cut off from your brain, and your muscles, including the ones that control your shit and piss, just release.

it's not something you can control. you didn't "fail" in some weird or embarrassing way. it's just biology doing its thing in a traumatic situation. shitting yourself during something like that isn't shameful, it's a sign your body was overwhelmed and reacting to a life or death moment.

so no, it's not something to be ashamed of. noone chooses how their body reacts under that kind of pressure. hopefully the fact that (hopefully) nobody was there to witness this can make you feel slightly better.

you're human. you're allowed to be messy, physically and emotionally.


a lesson to be learned here is to use the toilet before you attempt to hang yourself.

Honestly I knew it was a possibility but it's another thing to actually experience it. And I have IBS so trying to empty my bowels beforehand isn't really a guarantee.
Uh. In other news, I just vomited involuntarily in a way that I didn't see coming.

 

[hang in there]

I'm so sorry you're hurting and I hope the rest of your night is not so god awful, you have been through so much

 

[fallingleaves]

I'm so sorry you're hurting and I hope the rest of your night is not so god awful, you have been through so much

Help :(

 

[hang in there]

Help :(

What can I do to help, I am here

 

[fallingleaves]

I entered some kind of altered state while trying to hang myself. I said a lot of things that I don't remember. I didn't remember that the thing was around my neck. I didn't really remember that it was there, for a while.

What can I do to help, I am here

Can you talk to me? Can you show me love? That's all I can really guess or express for how to help me right now. I'm sorry.

 

[IFrequentSaSu]

That's unfortunate. Sorry that happened to you.

 

[hang in there]

I entered some kind of altered state while trying to hang myself. I said a lot of things that I don't remember. I didn't remember that the thing was around my neck. I didn't really remember that it was there, for a while.

Do you still feel like you want to hurt yourself? Are you having second thoughts? Do you want to take a break for a bit and try to calm down?

 

[fallingleaves]

Do you still feel like you want to hurt yourself? Are you having second thoughts? Do you want to take a break for a bit and try to calm down?

Yes. I'm extremely suicidal. I think it's interesting how there was a moment while trying to hang myself where I had forgotten what I had done. I didn't know that there was a rope around my neck. For a moment.

But yes I'm full of second thoughts. I'm the master of second thoughts. I'm in a struggle.

I can't calm down. I've been waiting for people to treat me with kindness for weeks, months. I can't calm down.

 

[hang in there]

I entered some kind of altered state while trying to hang myself. I said a lot of things that I don't remember. I didn't remember that the thing was around my neck. I didn't really remember that it was there, for a while.

Can you talk to me? Can you show me love? That's all I can really guess or express for how to help me right now. I'm sorry.

>Can you talk to me? Can you show me love? That's all I can really guess or express for how to help me right now. I'm sorry.
I can love you and want the best for you as a stranger and you are always free to talk to me, I would love to help in any way I can. I wish I knew you better so that would mean more.

Yes. I'm extremely suicidal. I think it's interesting how there was a moment while trying to hang myself where I had forgotten what I had done. I didn't know that there was a rope around my neck. For a moment.

But yes I'm full of second thoughts. I'm the master of second thoughts. I'm in a struggle.

I can't calm down. I've been waiting for people to treat me with kindness for weeks, months. I can't calm down.

It's just my opinion but I would save CTB for a clear mind and a calmer day. I think there are other ways to handle your intense suffering right now and it might be better to treat yourself kindly tonight rather than try for a third time. For your sake. We don't make the clearest decisions when we are in so much distress, and the worst outcome could be fucking up so bad you need medical help...

 

[faimarch]

I understand your feelings completely. It's very hard to go through so much pain daily.

 

[fallingleaves]

>Can you talk to me? Can you show me love? That's all I can really guess or express for how to help me right now. I'm sorry.
I can love you and want the best for you as a stranger and you are always free to talk to me, I would love to help in any way I can. I wish I knew you better so that would mean more.

It's just my opinion but I would save CTB for a clear mind and a calmer day. I think there are other ways to handle your intense suffering right now and it might be better to treat yourself kindly tonight rather than try for a third time. For your sake. We don't make the clearest decisions when we are in so much distress, and the worst outcome could be fucking up so bad you need medical help...

But if not in a crisis, then when?

And I would love it if you would DM me and get to know me or something. But that's your choice.

 

[hang in there]

But if not in a crisis, then when?

And I would love it if you would DM me and get to know me or something. But that's your choice.

>But if not in a crisis, then when?
As I mentioned earlier I think the best time is a calm day when you have planned everything out and nothing will go wrong, where you are not upset but happy, ready to leave instead of any second thoughts...
What are your second thoughts? Do you have family you will be leaving behind? Do you have pets who need you or teachers who will miss your presence or coworkers who will look for you? What has got you in such an awful state tonight?

 

[fallingleaves]

>But if not in a crisis, then when?
As I mentioned earlier I think the best time is a calm day when you have planned everything out and nothing will go wrong, where you are not upset but happy, ready to leave instead of any second thoughts...
What are your second thoughts? Do you have family you will be leaving behind? Do you have pets who need you or teachers who will miss your presence or coworkers who will look for you? What has got you in such an awful state tonight?

I WILL NEVER BE HAPPY. I WILL NEVER HAVE A DAY LIKE THAT. PEOPLE BETRAYED ME. NOBODY FUCKING CARES. CARE ABOUT ME. DON'T TELL ME TO FUCKING WAIT FOR A NICE DAY. IT WON'T COME.

>But if not in a crisis, then when?
As I mentioned earlier I think the best time is a calm day when you have planned everything out and nothing will go wrong, where you are not upset but happy, ready to leave instead of any second thoughts...
What are your second thoughts? Do you have family you will be leaving behind? Do you have pets who need you or teachers who will miss your presence or coworkers who will look for you? What has got you in such an awful state tonight?

I WILL NEVER BE HAPPY. I WILL NEVER HAVE A DAY LIKE THAT. PEOPLE BETRAYED ME. NOBODY FUCKING CARES. CARE ABOUT ME. DON'T TELL ME TO FUCKING WAIT FOR A NICE DAY. IT WO

>But if not in a crisis, then when?
As I mentioned earlier I think the best time is a calm day when you have planned everything out and nothing will go wrong, where you are not upset but happy, ready to leave instead of any second thoughts...
What are your second thoughts? Do you have family you will be leaving behind? Do you have pets who need you or teachers who will miss your presence or coworkers who will look for you? What has got you in such an awful state tonight?

NOBODY WILL LOOK FOR ME. NO ONE.

 

[Ashu]

honestly, this is way more common than you might think. when someone is in a situation like attempted hanging, the body can go into full shutdown mode. that includes losing control of your bowels, bladder, and sometimes even nutting involuntary. it's a reflex. part of what's called the "agonal response" or dying reflex. your nervous system basically short-circuits as oxygen gets cut off from your brain, and your muscles, including the ones that control your shit and piss, just release.

it's not something you can control. you didn't "fail" in some weird or embarrassing way. it's just biology doing its thing in a traumatic situation. shitting yourself during something like that isn't shameful, it's a sign your body was overwhelmed and reacting to a life or death moment.

so no, it's not something to be ashamed of. noone chooses how their body reacts under that kind of pressure. hopefully the fact that (hopefully) nobody else was there to witness this can make you feel slightly better.

you're human. you're allowed to be messy, physically and emotionally.


a lesson to be learned here is to use the toilet before you attempt to hang yourself.

"Nutting". You mean ejaculating or orgasming?

 

[fallingleaves]

"Nutting". You mean ejaculating or orgasming?

Yes that's what they mean. Look up "death erections".

 

[hang in there]

I WILL NEVER BE HAPPY. I WILL NEVER HAVE A DAY LIKE THAT. PEOPLE BETRAYED ME. NOBODY FUCKING CARES. CARE ABOUT ME. DON'T TELL ME TO FUCKING WAIT FOR A NICE DAY. IT WON'T COME.

I WILL NEVER BE HAPPY. I WILL NEVER HAVE A DAY LIKE THAT. PEOPLE BETRAYED ME. NOBODY FUCKING CARES. CARE ABOUT ME. DON'T TELL ME TO FUCKING WAIT FOR A NICE DAY. IT WO

NOBODY WILL LOOK FOR ME. NO ONE.

Sorry you're in such a rough spot tonight.

 

[fallingleaves]

Sorry you're in such a rough spot tonight.

Help me. People, be kind for once.

 

[hang in there]

Help me. People, be kind for once.

Do you have anything to drink? Can you have a few shots and sit down for a moment to catch your breath? I'm so sorry you're hurting this badly and no one here wants you to torture yourself any more tonight

 

[fallingleaves]

Do you have anything to drink? Can you have a few shots and sit down for a moment to catch your breath? I'm so sorry you're hurting this badly and no one here wants you to torture yourself any more tonight

You're so kind. I have cider but nothing for shots. I can barely breathe. Walls closing in around me. I've been tortured for months if not over a year. Probably over a year. I need help but people are cruel and abusive and terrifying. I don't know what to do.

 

[hang in there]

You're so kind. I have cider but nothing for shots. I can barely breathe. Walls closing in around me. I've been tortured for months if not over a year. Probably over a year. I need help but people are cruel and abusive and terrifying. I don't know what to do.

I'm going to be very frank with you, I work EMS and every fiber of my being is telling me if I was there with you I would do everything I could to get you real help. You are very likely injured from your hanging attempt on top of the unfathomable distress you're still in and with that combination you are not able to think rationally or make the right decision right now. I do not want you to hurt yourself anymore. You are not in a good state of mind right now and I hope to god your neighbors hear your screams and call for some help. I wish you luck and I don't know what sort of help you even want from me other than to helplessly watch you destroy yourself in the most painful manner possible. Please reconsider your actions and take a break.