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I thought you were my ally. But calling EMS is the last thing that anyone should do. I thought about knocking on a neighbour's door but I didn't. I trusted you somewhat in terms of the conversation that we had. But now you're telling me that you would violate my most important boundary. Please tell me that if we talked in person you would respect my non-intervention clause. Please. Because otherwise we can't talk.
We're all here for you. Some of us find it hard to put into words but you're part of the community here and we love you and care about you. Sorry I'm shit with words. I was in a similar headspace very recently and it hurts so much. I hope just knowing this Sasu community understand and care that you're in such pain can help in some way. Shit I'm so sorry I can't express what I feel about you going through this. And I know that lonely isolated exploding in your head, hurt desperation that you need to end because it's intolerable, but somehow you still end up alive and what that does to your head. The power of that feeling will relent a little eventually even though the thoughts are still there but hold on and ride it out because doing anything ctb while you're so overwhelmed has a high risk of unintended consequences if it's not already planned to the last detail. Much love to you, from someone who expresses themselves extremely poorly but feels you pain and wants desperately for your pain to relent a bit. xxxx
Of course I would have to respect your boundary, in the end everyone makes their own choices. I'm not saying someone needs to drag you to the hospital I'm concerned you might be injured and hurting more than you need to be. You can always see an ambulance, get patched up, and send them away without being transported anywhere, then you could have some drinks and go to bed. But that's all up to you and no one can make your choices for you.
I know it's not the answer but find ice, hold it tight, keep holding it, then do it again until the crisis relents even a little. Then keep talking to us
don't feel pa
I don't feel safe with healthcare professionals, period. It's a problem. But it's because of what they've done to me. I don't really believe that I could just get patched up and go on my way. That doesn't track with my experiences. :(
It won't help. It will only burn my palms.
I meant mental pain, that being out of control, the desperation etc. But maybe I'm putting my feelings and experiences onto you and that's not forgiveable so I'm sorry if that's the case. I said I was rubbish at expressing myself. How are you feeling now, still the same? xxx
I've done the ice thing very recently. I know it's possible to burn from frozen stuff but I've done it recently over and over again to try to get my head back and I didn't get burned. If it hurts too much you can always drop it. Maybe just do it once until the ice melts. (I do mean ice though, not ice packs). Or hold your breath, plunge your face into a sink full of very cold water and keep it there until you have to come out of the water for a breath.
>That doesn't track with my experiences. :(
I know. i can hear it in what you're saying. That's why I'm suggesting ice or cold water on your face. Just anything to get your head back even if it solves nothing. Please try. I'm here. I care. I know those things wont change life but they'll let you get your head back so you can think what to do next. You're in a crisis and there's no worse place.
I'm guessing you're in a country where if you call for help there are consequences and I totally get that. it's horrific how in so many countries that calling for help makes matters worse. Please try something very cold on your skin so you can get your head back so you can think what to do.
I use the cold water on face when I feel like throwing up but usually in the end I throw up anyway. I'm not sure about all this. I think my problem is deeper than just shocking my nervous system with cold. Unfortunately. I do see what you're saying. I appreciate it. But I just don't know.
It's not going to solve anything at all, but it'll help to get your head back so you can think what to do next. But I don't know about things, but I'd feel better if you tried maybe? Nothing to lose by trying it? But whatever, I really care that you're going through this. But the worst will relent then you can think what to do next.
I am and I'm trying and I'm still trying but it hurts
No, I took my medicine :(
No, I took my medicine :(
that's lovely.
stick with it. We're all here for you. Keep going. Feel it. Breath with it. Absorb the love we have for you
I know you were just in the bath but can you start a bubble bath? Can you turn on your favorite show really loud so you can't ignore it? Maybe something funny and dumb. Can you take a few swigs of cider? You can always CTB later when you're more composed, how about we get you there? It helps to sit in a bath and try to breathe slowly, do you know how to do square breathing? Do you have any favorite foods you could take a bite of? You can always do stuff later, you don't have to try again right now.
Can you do something active - punch a pillow, rip some stuff up, something to burn off the adrenaline? Headphones with loud music while you're doing it?
Nobody. :( Friends betrayed and turned their backs. Institutions unspeakable.
I'm doing loud music now
I'm doing loud music now
BUT DO YOU REALLY LOVE ME
If no one loved you no one would have ever looked at or responded to your threads. People care about you and want the best for you even if you can't feel it right now.
They always ask questions. I don't feel safe even responding to their questions. They'll find out.
CANADA. IN CANADA THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES. I HAVE EXPERIENCED THOSE CONSEQUENCES. IT'S UNBEARABLE.
CANADA. IN CANADA THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES. I HAVE EXPERIENCED THOSE CONSEQUENCES. IT'S UNBEARABLE.
Dude people in my profession are dumber than sacks of bricks and lazier than anything, if they have a chance to leave someone at home and save paperwork they are going to take it lol.
Can you sing or shout to the music? Have you punched the life out of that pillow and torn masses of paper and thrown it down? XXX
You have really good suggestions but I don't feel like I can do anything. I dissociate a lot when I'm in distress. I wouldn't be able to pay attention my favourite show no matter how loud it was or how stupid it was.
I don't know if that's true. It doesn't take love to look at a thread or even to respond with compassion. But maybe I don't know what love even means anymore.
Man then why do they always put in the most fucking work when they're harassing me?
Man then why do they always put in the most fucking work when they're harassing me?
