Venting I need to get over myself and just buy the means already

[symphony]

My method is SN and I'm still a little on the fence about whether I'm gonna CTB or not. (I made an ultimatum with the universe... if something specific works out in the next few weeks, I'll live. Otherwise that's it.) First DD goes down and then IC. As far as I know, CCS wasn't around as a source when I first joined here, and multiple sources for N have come and gone in that time. It seems like you kinda need to jump on the opportunity to get these things when you can. But for some reason buying SN and meto really scares me, like even the thought of buying them sets off my SI and makes me freak out. I'm rambling now, but just sharing my thoughts.

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly hate how suicide is becoming more difficult and inaccessible as time goes on but unfortunately this is just the reality of existing in this world that is so incredibly anti choice. Humans at least deserve the options of reliable ways to cease existing but anyway I wish you the best.

 

[Deleted member 31858]

Everything has become more complicated to achieve, in recent days I have started to think what will happen if my 2 bottles of SN expire and when they expire there is no way to get it? Will I have to resort to a painful method? In fact, last night I was seeing a supplier that I found in September of N to buy ketamine (and take advantage and order N) but I see that it has not been very active anymore, I think there is a shortage, but yes, we are slowly seeing the sources they disappear, although fortunately for many I believe that IC will return.