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smallcow4rd

smallcow4rd

youthinkyouknowme
Dec 20, 2025
15
Everyone is asleep (i think) i will try partial hanging once again, the rope is aprox. 40 centimeters, i Will tie it on a nearby pole, and i Will kneel quickly.

But i still feel fear, im not sure if to do it just 2 days before reuniting with my mother in mother's day. But if i don't do it now i won't do it. I have to do it now

So, the question was: Will alcohol reduce My survival instincts? should i get drunk before trying? thanks in advance
 
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interna

interna

Gone Tomorrow, Here Today
Dec 1, 2025
148
why wont you do it later if you don't do it now if i may ask?
you shouldn't feel pressured to die, whatever the reason. especially not if you're looking forward to reuniting with your mom. you can't come back from death
 
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smallcow4rd

smallcow4rd

youthinkyouknowme
Dec 20, 2025
15
why wont you do it later if you don't do it now if i may ask?
you shouldn't feel pressured to die, whatever the reason. especially not if you're looking forward to reuniting with your mom. you can't come back from death
Because i Will forget about the pain, i will get distracted, i'll think i'm happy when i'm not. I remember eventually and think "fuck that was the perfect moment" like it's happened many times before. I really love her but i gotta do it now because this is what it's always meant to happen.

I seriously have no future, i don't know what to do with myself, i'm too weak to fight for myself, i'm too stupid to complete my career, i'm too stupid to take the oportunity to have a future because i can't take it anymore.

Sorry for venting, i just wanted a straight answer. Thanks for worrying
 
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Yurak Hunt

Member
May 7, 2026
6
Everyone is asleep (i think) i will try partial hanging once again, the rope is aprox. 40 centimeters, i Will tie it on a nearby pole, and i Will kneel quickly.

But i still feel fear, im not sure if to do it just 2 days before reuniting with my mother in mother's day. But if i don't do it now i won't do it. I have to do it now

So, the question was: Will alcohol reduce My survival instincts? should i get drunk before trying? thanks in advance
What happened the first time you tried it? Did you fail somehow? I am asking because I am thinking of going this route myself.
 
smallcow4rd

smallcow4rd

youthinkyouknowme
Dec 20, 2025
15
What happened the first time you tried it? Did you fail somehow? I am asking because I am thinking of going this route myself.
I think the rope was too long and i didnt kneel quick enough, which led me to not get enough pressure to pass out.
 
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interna

interna

Gone Tomorrow, Here Today
Dec 1, 2025
148
Because i Will forget about the pain, i will get distracted, i'll think i'm happy when i'm not. I remember eventually and think "fuck that was the perfect moment" like it's happened many times before. I really love her but i gotta do it now because this is what it's always meant to happen.

I seriously have no future, i don't know what to do with myself, i'm too weak to fight for myself, i'm too stupid to complete my career, i'm too stupid to take the oportunity to have a future because i can't take it anymore.

Sorry for venting, i just wanted a straight answer. Thanks for worrying
i know what you mean. hope can really be a burden. i struggle with that too, so i can't help you much with that.
but i still think, in the end, if you truly are miserable, you'll wind up in this exact position again. it's not like you won't have other opportunities to try and kill yourself. i won't try to convince you, but maybe keep that in mind. with suicide, you shouldn't rush it just because you feel like you'll miss your chance..... you truly need to be prepared. that's all
if you end up dying today, safe travels. đź«‚
 
smallcow4rd

smallcow4rd

youthinkyouknowme
Dec 20, 2025
15
i know what you mean. hope can really be a burden. i struggle with that too, so i can't help you much with that.
but i still think, in the end, if you truly are miserable, you'll wind up in this exact position again. it's not like you won't have other opportunities to try and kill yourself. i won't try to convince you, but maybe keep that in mind. with suicide, you shouldn't rush it just because you feel like you'll miss your chance..... you truly need to be prepared. that's all
if you end up dying today, safe travels. đź«‚
the last time i planned it so much i still failed, maybe the thing is knowing my mistakes and fix them quick.

Thanks for your understanding, I wish I achieve it.
 
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