Venting I miss the old me

[whybother2002]

I hate current me so much. I'm a zombie. I don't do anything except browse youtube all day while I work. I don't feel like myself. The things I used to like, I can't like them like before. The things I used to feel, to dream... they are not there anymore. I'm going crazy, I don't wan't to live if I have to turn into another person, a person that I hate. Nobody is able to help me when it comes to this. I know there ain't no medication in the world that will help me regain my personality. It hurts so much, so so so much.

 

[Reindropz]

I feel you, I'm basically the same. I feel like past me had so much more and now I have just become something terrible

 

[bipolar22]

Same. Watching tv or listen to music. I do clean my condo but thats my life right now. Fucking chronic gastritis has me living like this for months again now. Very sad and boring

 

[fadedmelanocholy]

me too.. every waking moment i think about how much happier and alive i was when i was younger....

 

[badatparties]

Yeah, i look back on some old videos of mine and think how the fuck did i turn into this.

 

[Hollowman]

Same here. I had so much potential.

 

[beyond.space]

i for one attribute the loss of my innocence to my former partner, whom i still love, unfortunately, even though she destroyed me. i find myself here, 7 months after our separation and to think that 4 years ago i was absolutely scared of the concept of death by any means, especially suicide. now the thought of it is the only thing that calms me during my breakdowns. i used to dream, to hope, to be artistic in beautiful ways, to love and find joy in the little things. now, all of this was ruined. its not her fault completely, though. the world is more of a purgatory, with much more suffering than joy, and i acknowledged this years prior, making me depressed and often wishing i wasnt born at all. but i was still pure in my intent to find a purpose. 4 years on, i have never wanted more to be able to just press a button and end all life immediately. every living thing with a nervous system suffers, physically, emotionally, spiritually and i believe that was god's gravest mistake (i dont believe in a god, but if there is one, he sure is dead or just a hypocrite)

 

[Pale_Rider]

I feel you too.

 

[Oreki]

I can relate deeply to this. I don't think there's a solution for it

 

[Macedonian1987]

I miss the old me too. I was fit, vital , without any chronic pain, able to hike for hours on quite inclined hills without getting very tired. Now Im in pain, getting tired even after walking for 20 minutes on a flat ground. My old self and my present self are like 2 different people.

 

[Xiaojiu]

I miss the old me too. I was fit, vital , without any chronic pain, able to hike for hours on quite inclined hills without getting very tired. Now Im in pain, getting tired even after walking for 20 minutes on a flat ground. My old self and my present self are like 2 different people.

I feel this I have chronic illnesses and chronic pain 24/7, and I grieve my old self and life everyday. I was a hiker too and miss climbing mountains. I am so different than the person I was, I lost 99% of friends because of these physical issues.