I might have lose empathy

[golta]

When I was younger for any little trouble somebody could been in I couldn't help myself but try to help them. Now I can hear they been SA, family issues, etc and feel nothing at all.
I wish I could go back, but I simply cant. Everyday I feel less things than before
I hate myself because when I heard the new about the death of my grandpa I fell sad and angry for like two days and moved on
I literally feel more sad as a child for arguing with friends and I hate myself for that. The only feelings that are the same are hate for people and myself. Idk what is wrong of me, but my only desire now is to kill myself and go to a place were feelings aren't needed. That would be my version of heaven
Sorry if something doesn't allings at all, I'm tired and I don't know what I'm doing

 

[another_user]

I am losing empathy for most people too because I am burnt out from giving it to the wrong people.

I don't know if anyone will agree with this, but from what I have seen most empathy is very shallow and a lot of people only feel it for things they have personally experienced. To me that is not true empathy but narcissism as they are most likely remembering how they felt and painting themselves into the other person's situation and feeling sorry for themselves.

For example, there is one person I know who went through a breakup a few months ago and last month they were full of empathy for someone who was crying and said that it was because they has just gone through a breakup.

But when I was crying and they asked why and I told them it was because it was the anniversary of a friend's suicide, they had no empathy, remained stony faced and tried to dismiss my pain saying that its okay to feel upset because I have "a slightly closer" relationship to suicide than most people basically diminishing grief and my relationship with my friend in one sentence.

I thought back then to the extreme "empathy" she showed for the friend going through a break up and realised it was actually narcissism (in my opinion) because she only felt bad because she could relate personally.

I know that I have true empathy because I feel upset for people going through things that I have never been through like transitioning gender or breaking away from their religion and upsetting family or losing a parent at a young age.

It will drain you to feel empathy for others and not have it returned and most likely it won't be returned if your feelings are about big things like abuse, trauma, loss. People just do not feel it and it is a terrible thing.

 

[Ash]

When I was younger for any little trouble somebody could been in I couldn't help myself but try to help them. Now I can hear they been SA, family issues, etc and feel nothing at all.
I wish I could go back, but I simply cant. Everyday I feel less things than before
I hate myself because when I heard the new about the death of my grandpa I fell sad and angry for like two days and moved on
I literally feel more sad as a child for arguing with friends and I hate myself for that. The only feelings that are the same are hate for people and myself. Idk what is wrong of me, but my only desire now is to kill myself and go to a place were feelings aren't needed. That would be my version of heaven
Sorry if something doesn't allings at all, I'm tired and I don't know what I'm doing

I've become very good at cutting myself off from my deepest emotions, burying them deep inside me because they're too painful to bear. So I get upset or angry about small things because that's all brewing away and I'm trying to ignore it. So when horrible or sad things happen, I seem ok but that's because I've accidentally trained myself to ignore what I'm really feeling.

 

[helicoptero]

I'm sorry you feel this way. I'm feeling kind of similar. I always used to help others no matter what the problem was, so people often come to me to ask for help or advice, and now I only feel a bit worried and forced to help, I feel so tired of problems I feel I can't even help others anymore.

It's hard to go through this when you have always been spontaneously kind and helpful. It was the only thing I could said that described myself, but I lost everything, even that.

I guess it's some kind of burnt out, or a defensive mechanism. I don't think it makes us bad people, it's just that we're very tired of pain, suffering and problems.

Sending you a hug

 

[divinemistress36]

There's nothing wrong with you this a trauma response to protect you from more hurting. I'm the same way I'm loosing my empathy over the years and I hate it. You get stuck in fight or flight mode and your body is just focused on surviving Its hard to have the energy to give to anyone else.

 

[Eudaimonic]

I feel similarly, I think.
I feel like I've become more selfish and less empathetic than I'd like.
I hate it.
I just don't have the emotional space to think about others as much.
I'm too focused on my pain and what I have to do to end it.
I feel like my interactions with others have become colored by it, if only subtly.

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

I am losing empathy for most people too because I am burnt out from giving it to the wrong people.

I don't know if anyone will agree with this, but from what I have seen most empathy is very shallow and a lot of people only feel it for things they have personally experienced. To me that is not true empathy but narcissism as they are most likely remembering how they felt and painting themselves into the other person's situation and feeling sorry for themselves.

For example, there is one person I know who went through a breakup a few months ago and last month they were full of empathy for someone who was crying and said that it was because they has just gone through a breakup.

But when I was crying and they asked why and I told them it was because it was the anniversary of a friend's suicide, they had no empathy, remained stony faced and tried to dismiss my pain saying that its okay to feel upset because I have "a slightly closer" relationship to suicide than most people basically diminishing grief and my relationship with my friend in one sentence.

I thought back then to the extreme "empathy" she showed for the friend going through a break up and realised it was actually narcissism (in my opinion) because she only felt bad because she could relate personally.

I know that I have true empathy because I feel upset for people going through things that I have never been through like transitioning gender or breaking away from their religion and upsetting family or losing a parent at a young age.

It will drain you to feel empathy for others and not have it returned and most likely it won't be returned if your feelings are about big things like abuse, trauma, loss. People just do not feel it and it is a terrible thing.

Yes I interpret it in myself that my time has come, I have lost interest in most everything.

 

[Zanmato]

Same here.
Not completly lost, but I can say for sure I still have some empathy to a few people, probably the only one I do really care about.
Only... 2 persons, maybe, 2 friends.
3 at best.
I wonder if one day I'll completly feel "nothing" to them too.

 

[golta]

I am losing empathy for most people too because I am burnt out from giving it to the wrong people.

I don't know if anyone will agree with this, but from what I have seen most empathy is very shallow and a lot of people only feel it for things they have personally experienced. To me that is not true empathy but narcissism as they are most likely remembering how they felt and painting themselves into the other person's situation and feeling sorry for themselves.

For example, there is one person I know who went through a breakup a few months ago and last month they were full of empathy for someone who was crying and said that it was because they has just gone through a breakup.

But when I was crying and they asked why and I told them it was because it was the anniversary of a friend's suicide, they had no empathy, remained stony faced and tried to dismiss my pain saying that its okay to feel upset because I have "a slightly closer" relationship to suicide than most people basically diminishing grief and my relationship with my friend in one sentence.

I thought back then to the extreme "empathy" she showed for the friend going through a break up and realised it was actually narcissism (in my opinion) because she only felt bad because she could relate personally.

I know that I have true empathy because I feel upset for people going through things that I have never been through like transitioning gender or breaking away from their religion and upsetting family or losing a parent at a young age.

It will drain you to feel empathy for others and not have it returned and most likely it won't be returned if your feelings are about big things like abuse, trauma, loss. People just do not feel it and it is a terrible thing

I can relate to both sides of the history, I been in both situations but your Friends was extremely cold. I'm sorry she reacted like that, and thanks for your kind words

I've become very good at cutting myself off from my deepest emotions, burying them deep inside me because they're too painful to bear. So I get upset or angry about small things because that's all brewing away and I'm trying to ignore it. So when horrible or sad things happen, I seem ok but that's because I've accidentally trained myself to ignore what I'm really feeling.

I used to though that was my situation, but it seems that most of times when I'm feeling something I realize they are fake and I'm just acting automatically.

I'm sorry you feel this way. I'm feeling kind of similar. I always used to help others no matter what the problem was, so people often come to me to ask for help or advice, and now I only feel a bit worried and forced to help, I feel so tired of problems I feel I can't even help others anymore.

It's hard to go through this when you have always been spontaneously kind and helpful. It was the only thing I could said that described myself, but I lost everything, even that.

I guess it's some kind of burnt out, or a defensive mechanism. I don't think it makes us bad people, it's just that we're very tired of pain, suffering and problems.

Sending you a hug

I'm sorry you feel this way. I'm feeling kind of similar. I always used to help others no matter what the problem was, so people often come to me to ask for help or advice, and now I only feel a bit worried and forced to help, I feel so tired of problems I feel I can't even help others anymore.

It's hard to go through this when you have always been spontaneously kind and helpful. It was the only thing I could said that described myself, but I lost everything, even that.

I guess it's some kind of burnt out, or a defensive mechanism. I don't think it makes us bad people, it's just that we're very tired of pain, suffering and problems.

Sending you a hug

Thanks!!! I relate a lot to your comment, at least we know we aren't alone at all

Same here.
Not completly lost, but I can say for sure I still have some empathy to a few people, probably the only one I do really care about.
Only... 2 persons, maybe, 2 friends.
3 at best.
I wonder if one day I'll completly feel "nothing" to them too.

As a person that was in that situation I can say its horrible. Its a limbo you never do anything and you are stuck in loneliness

 

[tbroken]

I lost my empathy also, or maybe i never had one with CPTSD. I don't feel bad about it anyway, i just feel more savage relationships-wise.