I may not wake up tommorow

[AS.star]

I overdosed opioids, mixed it with other meds that work on the same part of brain.

My breathing is really slow but stable, there's a chance that I won't wake up when I'll go to sleep cause of brain slowing down and weak automatic breathing.

I'm starting to think about my life.
My boyfriend is away, he doesn't know I did that.
My hormones are shit, my bowels are shitty, my thyroid is shit, my heart is shit, my mind is shit, my family is shit, my school is shit- there's a lot of shitty things actually.

I'm sure he'll be okay without me, he has so many friends that loves him deeply. It's gonna be better without me for him. My life has been tough.
The thought about dying comforts me, just not waking up. So peaceful.
I have nightmares every night, maybe this one won't be so bad.
Knowing my luck I will wake up, but who knows?
If God exists, have mercy on my sinful soul.
Take care of my boyfriend, the only person that mattered in my life.

I still don't know why I took so many pills.
I was full of emotions, I wanted to cut them out so badly. I couldn't bare them anymore. I took one, hour passed I took 2, then 3, 4, and more.
I'll see...

 

[itsallogrenow]

If at any point you feel like changing your mind, don't be scared to call or message for help.

Either way, hope you get some peace tonight.

 

[UserFromNowhere]

Mirroring what @itsallogrenow said, if you change your mind, you can call or message someone for help. I know the emotions are painful and hard to endure, but it might be worth it to stay for a while, the door is always open after all. Once it's shut, it's shut forever. If you have decided to go through that door and it's too late to change your mind, godspeed and may it be peaceful.