I may be an attention seeker and selfish for stating this. Perhaps, I truly am and should go to hell for fantasizing about this.
While my first and main intention of seeking death is to truly end my suffering, I can't help but secretly hope my death also provides a lesson to others and make them realize how great their words and actions cut deep to anyone.
It seems that most people tend to not reflect on their interactions with someone, until they're gone. Things and people aren't appreciated until they are lost. So, I hope that I will be loved and appreciated more once I am gone as well. But I definitely won't get that recognition during my remaining days on earth.
I hope others realize that the way they bullied me, gaslit me, verbally abused me, forgotten about me, how they treated me horribly, all led to my death. I hope they realize that they all contributed to my depression, anxiety and ultimate death. I hope they will then take my death as a lesson and reminder to be kinder to others going forward. It is their actions and words that have cut me deeply up until this point. My death is a consequence of their actions and the harsh reality. I want them to know that they contributed. I hope they feel the guilt, but most importantly I hope that they will not make the same mistake twice to someone else.
Their words and actions killed me first.
While my first and main intention of seeking death is to truly end my suffering, I can't help but secretly hope my death also provides a lesson to others and make them realize how great their words and actions cut deep to anyone.
It seems that most people tend to not reflect on their interactions with someone, until they're gone. Things and people aren't appreciated until they are lost. So, I hope that I will be loved and appreciated more once I am gone as well. But I definitely won't get that recognition during my remaining days on earth.
I hope others realize that the way they bullied me, gaslit me, verbally abused me, forgotten about me, how they treated me horribly, all led to my death. I hope they realize that they all contributed to my depression, anxiety and ultimate death. I hope they will then take my death as a lesson and reminder to be kinder to others going forward. It is their actions and words that have cut me deeply up until this point. My death is a consequence of their actions and the harsh reality. I want them to know that they contributed. I hope they feel the guilt, but most importantly I hope that they will not make the same mistake twice to someone else.
Their words and actions killed me first.
