Discussion I have a game anyone who wants to play can play. List your 13 reasons

[kilowatt]

1. I cannot handle the responsabilities life comes with
2. I don't want to age and suffer the consequences
3. The relationship with my mom, which I live with, is unbearable and has been ever since I grew consciousness
4. I want others to miss me
5. I've been driven to this and encouraged by many. I came to the conclusion it's the only right way out. I am tired of trying to hoplessly get better
6. I couldn't live to face the death of my cat, I can't die after him
7. I'm going to leave a will and give away my belongings. I really like the idea of that
8. I am not happy with my self image
9. Daily tasks like eating and getting out of bed and brushing my teeth drain the last bit of motivation I have in me
10. I can't bear finishing college, I would probably fail not even halfway through
11. It's really exhausing to live with PTSD, constantly being reminded of your past. It's incredibly draining and it seriously affects my mental health.
12. I want to prove depression should be taken seriously. In my early teen years I was always just brushed off when it came to my feelings and thoughts.
13. Adrenaline. I want to smile in my last seconds, feeling every bit of blood in me boil for I will finally reach my biggest goal. Peace
I feel like the list can go on much, much longer. This is a shorter version.

 

[MiMif]

3. The relationship with my mom, which I life with, is unbearable and has been ever since I grew consciousness

im curious about your number 2. What do you mean grew consciousness?

 

[iLikeFrogs]

1. I suffered for my whole life
2. I'm both mentally and physically disabled
3. I hate the way my body looks
4. I'm way too sensitivce and overthink too much
5. I was/am abused by my closest
6. I never wanted to exist
7. The world is full of evil and is straight up fucked up
8. I never got the "youth expirience" because of autism
9. All my plans for life are backups and I know I won't be able to achieve that
10. I'm tired of feeling guilty for every single thing I do (yes breathing too)
11. I'm just endlessly tired
12. I am worthless creature abandoned by god that doesn't deserve to live
13. I always envied people who were brave enough to take the last step and ctb

 

[nembutal]

1. fat, ugly, cuts all over body, trans, will never feel fine in my body and no cash for the procedures i want
2. bulimia ruining my physical and emotional health
3. i can only connect to and make friends with a very small percentage of people. i will never form friendships like others.
4. i have no romantic partner and i don't think i will be finding one any time soon. one night stands only help so much. i need love to continue.
5. there is no replacing my dead boyfriend. he had a specific set of quirks/traits/behaviors that no human walking this earth can ever replicate. and i can't bear that horrible existential feeling.
6. i am a bad person in general. a lot of morbid nonconventional thoughts and i am prone to hurting people i get close to very often.
7. i can only find solace in sex or drugs. not a way to live.
8. genuinely cannot function. some form of severe adhd or depression. cannot work for long periods of time, cannot put energy into anything because i have none. i spend it all on attempting to get through the day without harming myself.
9. no significant talent, my only value stems from flirting with men and doing favors
10. severe bpd. makes me question reality and intentions constantly. direct all my hatred towards myself.
11. it only gets worse from this point forward. im only 20. life is full of pain that normal people can usually fight through. i am weak and cannot take the emotional vulnerability.
12. i cannot find it in me to care anymore. once you realize that suicide is an option you can't ever go back.
13. i have lost everything valuable to me and have no energy to attempt to rebuild
14. bonus round. i think i am fated to go down this path. i am partially convinced that i was born to die. my survival instinct is basically nonexistent at this point.
15. i don't remember any positive experiences because they were with people/places that i've lost.
16. i have a sliver of hope that i may see my ex boyfriend again :(

 

[The_screaming_dawn]

1. My family believes me to be a disappointment and my aunt and uncle took the three little cousins to Mexico on not only my birthday but Thanksgiving.
2. The guy I like is now actively avoiding me because he found out I liked him.
3. I have been SA'D by three separate people multiple times.
4. I feel like I have accomplished nothing with my life.
5. I am failing out of college.
6. I have no real friends that contact me first.
7. I am terrible in romantic relationships and have been told countless times that I wasn't worth the good attention they gave me when I finally broke up with them. All three of them said that.
8. I have night terrors every night about getting SA'D.
9. I just want to sleep because I have no motivation to do anything.
10. My family refuses to acknowledge me as an adult who can make my own choices.
11. My professors all think I'm going to go somewhere in life if I just put in the work at college but I can't focus at all in order to do my work.
12. I made friends with yet another rapist at college so that makes it a total of four. (I was unaware of this when I became friends with any of these people.) And almost became a victim of him, AGAIN.
13. I have an overall inability to empathize with others and/ or read people at all on what type of person they are and it gets me in a lot of shit.

 

[veigarbeast]

Now it's my turn ^^

1. I have 0 friends and literally no one to talk to except family.
2. I am ugly as fuck and it amplifies every problem in my life / ruined my social life and confidence.
3. Kratom and Alcohol are the only thing making my life enjoyable, but I constantly feel dazed and tired because of it.
4. All I do everyday is play video games.
5. I am not able to have a simple conversation with strangers.
6. I feel like I know nothing and that my entire life revolves around playing league (it's the only thing I'm kind of good at). Once I quit that I am nothing.
7. I have early signs of hair loss and I take medication against it, but the medication has side effects that make everything worse :/. But if I lose my hair on top of everything else then I ctb.
8. I constantly have imaginary discussions in my head about stupid political topics and it's just making me frustrated / angry. Using social media makes this worse.
9. I hate being a man, I wish I could just be myself and wear what I want and be accepted for who I am.
10. I have so many insecurities from dating my former best friend. She dumped me and I can't be friends with her anymore because of many things relating to that. I wish I could just ignore all my insecurities and be friends with her again.
13. I'm lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I exchanged more words with my cat these past 6 months than with any human being.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

1. The younger I die, the total theoretical cumulative suffering that I'd gain over my entire life were I to live would decrease
2. Suffering is always guaranteed no matter what (as long as you're alive of course) and death eliminates suffering entirely. Not to mention at how even the most minute of suffering makes me wanna be dead
3. I'm autistic hence I'm not equipped for the world anyway (though I'm also not equipped for the world because of my last sentence in point 2)
4. Captialiam. Being a human means having to work and I'd rather not work which is only possible if I'm a billionaire or if I'm dead. It should be self explanatory as to which one of these I can obtain
5. In addition to point 4, I'd also have to work in other areas of my life which I'd rather just avoid
6. I don't really have any interests or anything that I can enjoy hence I got no reason to live
7. Loneliness. I never had a friend in my entire life and this hurts. Simultaneously, I got a feeling that, if I were to make a friend, I'd probably wish to be alone again
8. My neurotype. It's fucking awful
9. Nobody has yet to give me a reason as to why I should live. Either it's just a bunch of platitudes or it's about reasons that don't apply to me
10. I got nothing to live for. No goals, no motivation, no reason. I'm only here involuntarily
11. Humans are shitty creatures
12. We're all gonna die anyway so what's the issue if I just want my death to be closer
13. I got a very bleak future and only death can prevent that

 

[certified_idiot]

1. I had a shitty upbringing by shitty parents

2. I could never connect with anyone

3. Everyone I have known has left me

4. Nothing I do will make a difference

5. I'm in constant pain, not only mentally, but physically

6. I can't do anything, I'm just too tired

7. I can't keep up with the world well enough to survive

8. I don't work well with capitalism

9. The world is just getting shittier and shittier every moment

10. Even if, for some reason, people miss me, they will also be dead soon, so I won't even leave much of a negative impact when I CBT

11. I will never be free of my trauma

12. It's the easiest and most reliable way to end my suffering

13. I would be better off dead

 

[Arihman]

This might possibly be my testament, if I die in a short time, and unless I add something else and/or change my mind. Can't promise I'll make it to 13 points, but I'll try. So let's start:

• Both joy and suffering don't need to exist, as in, there is no wound or deficiency in the universe that our presence somehow heals, it's a circular purpose to meet needs. and then make more life so that it can satisfy your needs, and then participate in the same stupid cheese chasing game over and over and over again, for no reason but for the sake of serving the needs of currently existing people. Needs that would disappear with the current generation, but that are replicated because life "must exist", as if something bad happened if there was no sentient being on Earth in 2100;
• This is actually a relatively minor reason, but love is a crock of shit. Not only it doesn't make you complete (sorry you romantics, you can forget about living for your dream love, as you won't get it), but it too often doesn't even properly meet your needs, not to mention it's exceedingly hard to find it, and you have to work far too hard to maintain it, only to gain something that is both impermanent and far too often incapable of properly meeting your needs. For example, if you are a man, forget about getting with a woman willing to coddle you, comfort you, let you express your vulnerabilities, or give you sex without some favor in return. And the favor isn't doing the same for her, oh no, the favor is that you have to have more money and/or status than her. And don't you ever cry, or be "needy". Basically, if you're a hopeless romantic, well, no place for romanticism on planet Earth, buddies;
• Suffering is always bad, even without it being predicated on an absence of joy, whereas the latter, in order to be meaningful, always requires some form of suffering to be there first in order for pleasure/joy to even have value. After all, think about it, if there was a pleasure that didn't work like that, how could its presence even make any meaningful difference? If you obtained it, it wouldn't be able to make your life worth living, unless you became addicted to it later on, and if you didn't obtain it, its absence wouldn't be able to make you miserable. Otherwise, it would just be another suffering based joy;
• There is no such thing as chronic pleasure, but there definitely is chronic pain, which leads us to the next point;
• Badness has a stronger impact than positivity in general, which is why, for example, it's far easier to destroy a good reputation than it is to obtain a negative one.
• Life is completely devoid of purpose. Sure, you can make up your own, but that just means satisfying a need for purpose created by life itself, which gets us back to point 1;
• Positives get weaker over time, as in they'll likely get less and less exciting, and more and more boring. On the other hand, while one can also get used to the negatives, it's more likely (compared to the positives) that they would endure over time. Basically, life's capacity to give us joy is limited, but its capacity to torture us is far more abundant;
• I don't want to get old and sick, or get sick at a younger age;
• Suffering is the problem, whereas joy is but the solution to said problem. This is not to say that merely not being miserable due to, for instance, cancer, is enough to be happy, this is to say that an absence of extreme suffering is likely necessary to happiness.
• Life can't be an improvement over not existing. Having your needs met is much like creating a sickness, and then curing it. Suffering, on the other hand, is always worse than its absence, because it's an unfixed problem, unless it is necessary to prevent/cure more of it in the world. But there is no evidence that sentient life, in the grand scheme of things, ultimately does anything but fix problems it itself creates, meaning that, without it, there would be no needs or problems at all;
• Most people are religious kooks, as in people who believe in stupid fables (whether they are derived from some "holy book" or not), and in the name of these fables, they oppress other people, and restrict their rights, because they don't want their imaginary friend to be offended. Really, why should I want to even breathe the same air as fucktards like these?
• I don't want to work hard to have a good life, and why should I, when I don't want to live anymore, and needs are guaranteed, whereas their satisfaction is not? But even then, if life is a gift, why not just enjoy it? This gets me to another point: I really hate it when people who act as if struggling and having it hard it somehow noble, something that everyone should have. What's the point of it? To show how cool you are because you struggled? No sale. Now, life isn't easy, and I don't hate strong people. What I hate is the romanticization or fetishization of struggle, because that kind of mentality ends up being weaponized not only against suidical people or antinatalists ("you're weak, so you're wrong, because you don't value struggle"), but it logically ends up being weaponized against anything who might challenge a certain staus quo. I hate these people, they are obnoxious cunts, I don't want to live in the same planet as people who act all superior because they struggle, and want to invalidate anyone who challenges the status quo because anyone who does so is "weak", whereas they are "strong" for liking living in a shithole;
• The dead can't desire to be alive again, but the living can indeed wish to be dead. That's because the dead can't suffer and have no need for ANY positive life could give them, whereas the living can only ever feel joy because life caused them to have such a need in the first place, and can always end up wishing to be dead due to a negative enough event. Basically, the living can have their needs met or unmet, but the dead can never desire joy, because they have no needs at all;

That's all that is on my mind right now. Might have missed a few point, but whatever.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

This might possibly be my testament, if I die in a short time, and unless I add something else and/or change my mind. Can't promise I'll make it to 13 points, but I'll try. So let's start:

• Both joy and suffering don't need to exist, as in, there is no wound or deficiency in the universe that our presence somehow heals, it's a circular purpose to meet needs. and then make more life so that it can satisfy your needs, and then participate in the same stupid cheese chasing game over and over and over again, for no reason but for the sake of serving the needs of currently existing people. Needs that would disappear with the current generation, but that are replicated because life "must exist", as if something bad happened if there was no sentient being on Earth in 2100;
• This is actually a relatively minor reason, but love is a crock of shit. Not only it doesn't make you complete (sorry you romantics, you can forget about living for your dream love, as you won't get it), but it too often doesn't even properly meet your needs, not to mention it's exceedingly hard to find it, and you have to work far too hard to maintain it, only to gain something that is both impermanent and far too often incapable of properly meeting your needs. For example, if you are a man, forget about getting with a woman willing to coddle you, comfort you, let you express your vulnerabilities, or give you sex without some favor in return. And the favor isn't doing the same for her, oh no, the favor is that you have to have more money and/or status than her. And don't you ever cry, or be "needy". Basically, if you're a hopeless romantic, well, no place for romanticism on planet Earth, buddies;
• Suffering is always bad, even without it being predicated on an absence of joy, whereas the latter, in order to be meaningful, always requires some form of suffering to be there first in order for pleasure/joy to even have value. After all, think about it, if there was a pleasure that didn't work like that, how could its presence even make any meaningful difference? If you obtained it, it wouldn't be able to make your life worth living, unless you became addicted to it later on, and if you didn't obtain it, its absence wouldn't be able to make you miserable. Otherwise, it would just be another suffering based joy;
• There is no such thing as chronic pleasure, but there definitely is chronic pain, which leads us to the next point;
• Badness has a stronger impact than positivity in general, which is why, for example, it's far easier to destroy a good reputation than it is to obtain a negative one.
• Life is completely devoid of purpose. Sure, you can make up your own, but that just means satisfying a need for purpose created by life itself, which gets us back to point 1;
• Positives get weaker over time, as in they'll likely get less and less exciting, and more and more boring. On the other hand, while one can also get used to the negatives, it's more likely (compared to the positives) that they would endure over time. Basically, life's capacity to give us joy is limited, but its capacity to torture us is far more abundant;
• I don't want to get old and sick, or get sick at a younger age;
• Suffering is the problem, whereas joy is but the solution to said problem. This is not to say that merely not being miserable due to, for instance, cancer, is enough to be happy, this is to say that an absence of extreme suffering is likely necessary to happiness.
• Life can't be an improvement over not existing. Having your needs met is much like creating a sickness, and then curing it. Suffering, on the other hand, is always worse than its absence, because it's an unfixed problem, unless it is necessary to prevent/cure more of it in the world. But there is no evidence that sentient life, in the grand scheme of things, ultimately does anything but fix problems it itself creates, meaning that, without it, there would be no needs or problems at all;
• Most people are religious kooks, as in people who believe in stupid fables (whether they are derived from some "holy book" or not), and in the name of these fables, they oppress other people, and restrict their rights, because they don't want their imaginary friend to be offended. Really, why should I want to even breathe the same air as fucktards like these?
• I don't want to work hard to have a good life, and why should I, when I don't want to live anymore, and needs are guaranteed, whereas their satisfaction is not? But even then, if life is a gift, why not just enjoy it? This gets me to another point: I really hate it when people who act as if struggling and having it hard it somehow noble, something that everyone should have. What's the point of it? To show how cool you are because you struggled? No sale. Now, life isn't easy, and I don't hate strong people. What I hate is the romanticization or fetishization of struggle, because that kind of mentality ends up being weaponized not only against suidical people or antinatalists ("you're weak, so you're wrong, because you don't value struggle"), but it logically ends up being weaponized against anything who might challenge a certain staus quo. I hate these people, they are obnoxious cunts, I don't want to live in the same planet as people who act all superior because they struggle, and want to invalidate anyone who challenges the status quo because anyone who does so is "weak", whereas they are "strong" for liking living in a shithole;
• The dead can't desire to be alive again, but the living can indeed wish to be dead. That's because the dead can't suffer and have no need for ANY positive life could give them, whereas the living can only ever feel joy because life caused them to have such a need in the first place, and can always end up wishing to be dead due to a negative enough event. Basically, the living can have their needs met or unmet, but the dead can never desire joy, because they have no needs at all;

That's all that is on my mind right now. Might have missed a few point, but whatever.

Wow, it's nice seeing somebody acknowledge the asymmetry between suffering and pleasure in life. I don't even know if many suicidal people acknowledge this themselves. But yes, this asymmetry makes me want to be dead

 

[hellispink]

1. People abandon, betray and replace like nothing ever mattered to them. Nothing holds value for society.
2. People fake things, most people are not real so why living in a world full of lies?
3. We live as slaves for the government, the pharmaceutical industry, and the powerful politicians. We cant escape from it either (the elite).
4. Millions or billions are being abused starving hungry without not even a roof in their heads. I am not more special than them, none of us are. People pretend its okay and do nothing about it. 5. People just care about their personal gain. They see abuse, they ignore it, they see injustice and they ignore it because of course its not convenient. Why would i wanna exist in such a rotten society?
6- most rapists go happy about their life. Most of them dont even get charged and if they do, they blame the victim. He or her the abuser lives a happy life while you stuck in therapy for the rest of your miserable existence. Sounds nice?
7- social media is poison. And people pretend its a good thing. It destroys absolutely everything, mostly the little values humans had (not saying they had a lot of them but whatever whats left its not existing now).
8- no one cares about the children. we failed them forever even more now
9- Wars to create more money and kill so many millions that just had hope their fucking presidents would do something good for them for once. And the dumbasses think that by tweeting "save x country" they gonna change shit. Fuck them honestly.
10- people just live for material things. Little people enjoy the greatest of the gifts, nature or just giving a hug. Everything is just money buying crap they dont need for status and who knows what else.
11- most people dont use their brains, they closed minded they dont study or investigate anything. Anything the news puts they believe , they lack basic neuron functioning. The bad part? It affects us all as society, doesnt only affect them.
12- borderline personality disorder, no need for explaining honestly
13- I dont wanna be part of the slavery. I dont wanna live a lie in a bubble just to pretend this is okay.
14- i dont conform accept or support none of this bullshit that is happening. It hurts me to see so much injustice and that nothing will ever change cause thats human nature , breaks my heart
15- i prefer to leave than to be part of this lie , again
16- life is meaningless, if everything that will have in your life is dictated by someone elses actions (society as a whole)

 

[starrchaoz]

1. I'm a horrible person. I have low empathy, and don't know how to properly feel and care for others. I have awful intrusive thoughts that deeply upset me and I just know that leaving this earth is the right choice.
2. I'll never be successful in life. I'm not smart, and I have absolutely no talents. I can never do anything right and I mess up the simplest of tasks. I'll never be an author like I want to be, I don't even have the creative drive for that anymore.
3. Gender dysphoria is so painful. I just wish I was a cis man so bad, and not stuck in this ugly, wrong body. I'll never get to experience that or experience what it's like to look in the mirror and see a man staring back at me.
4. I genuinely ruin everything around me. Everything is always my fault. I know my friends will be relieved when I'm gone because all I do is make them miserable. I'm so so selfish and cruel.
5. I'm so tired. I just can't keep doing this. I'm so exhausted always and I don't see a point in life. I don't want to keep living, life is so long.
6. I've never wanted to live long, even from a young age. When I was young I could never really picture my future or anything like that, I couldn't envision living old. So I think death is just meant for me.
7. I'll never be able to get over my bad past. I'll forever be afraid of being exactly like my parents and I know I'm like them already and that kills me. Whenever someone mentions my father or someone yells I freak out and that's something I'll never be able to fix, it pains me everyday.
8. I'm ugly. I know this might be a weird one but I am so unattractive and disgusting. My body is weird, my face is hideous, I feel like a monster. I know no one could ever love me, I can't even stand to look at myself in the mirror most days.
9. The world is going downhill. I don't want to keep living on this poisonous earth. Everyone is so cruel to each other and there is so much hate and violence.
10. I'm a burden on my family. I barely help out around the house and I don't contribute financially. Me leaving will put less of a financial burden on them.
11. I'm so far behind everyone my age. I'm 18 and don't have a license yet, or my own car or place. It makes me feel so useless.
12. I'm not happy. I've been unhappy since the age of 12 and I know I'll never find happiness. I don't want help, and whenever I find myself in a good mood I self sabotage it because I don't deserve to feel that way. In a way, the sadness is comforting. I'm too far gone to be saved.
13. I just know that death is meant for me. I will be so much more at peace once I'm gone. I'm not meant to live long.

 

[an_alias]

1. eating disorder. makes me feel like shit all the time. the bane of a physical existence for me
2. medical illness - severe multiple allergies, anaphylaxis, etc. all mean that i can barely go outside
3. mental illness! i have a myriad of mental issues which are very reminiscent of BPD, PPD and AvPD symptoms but i can't get tested in fear that my family will find out
4. targeted individual - being stalked by the only person i ever really loved
5. A-spec - aroace, greyplatonic. i'm so isolated from the rest of the world and it hurts me so much
6. i'm purposeless and don't have anything very interesting to say. quit wasting your time with me and go read Bukowski, please
7. anhaedonia - the essence of a physical existence is haedonistic. that's disgusting, but when you can't fulfill even those simple desires, you are truly lifeless
8. spite. Gavin I'm sorry but I don't like you and can't live with you in this world. please stop watching me
9. repulsiveness. i bring down the lives of others with my existence. that's why i ought to be ended
10. the fact that i'm here at this age. i'm supposed to be young, dude. and i've so quickly already spoilt my life to shit
11. appearance. looking at myself in the mirror is exhausting. having a face tied to every rancid thought that comes to mind is horrific.
12. i don't like my family. i can't muster the strength to care about the people who should care about me. it's inhumane
13. no future. regardless of how smart people think i am, i am made obsolete by all the previous things i've mentioned. so why live for longer?