Discussion I have a game anyone who wants to play can play. List your 13 reasons

[MiMif]

Just thought it would be fun lol anyway list your 13 reasons! I'm going first

1.I have no real connection with anyone and no matter how hard I try I honestly don't give a damn about anyone and I won't ever make any real connection because I'm incapable of it
2.I feel life has no real meaning and honestly I was probably born broken I should've never been born in the first place my existence isn't even paining only myself anymore its spreading to others
3. I'm basically a walking corspe and I do absolutely nothing I have also been getting constant headaches
4. I'm tired all of the time and I don't feel like doing anything but doing nothing also gives me anxiety there is no winning.
5.i hate people and being around people
6. I honestly have a really bad personality
7. I feel like my depression is spreading to my younger siblings as they seem to be copying me when I visit and I don't want them to become like me
8. I don't really find any joy in anything anymore
9. I hate myself
10. I'm a liar and I feel like im even lying to myself sometimes
11. I pretend I'm smart because I was labeled as a gifted kid but honestly I'm a dumbass and I'm sick of expectations and keeping up lies.
12. I'm sick of faking infront of people and I'm sick of social expectations
13.i feel like destroying everything around me constantly and honestly scared there's a possibility I may harm someone before harming myself.

Okay anyone who wants to play list your 13 reasons
Ngl couldn't fit it all in with 13

 

[dyn00ss]

Just thought it would be fun lol anyway list your 13 reasons! I'm going first

1.I have no real connection with anyone and no matter how hard I try I honestly don't give a damn about anyone and I won't ever make any real connection because I'm incapable of it
2.I feel life has no real meaning and honestly I was probably born broken I should've never been born in the first place my existence isn't even paining only myself anymore its spreading to others
3. I'm basically a walking corspe and I do absolutely nothing I have also been getting constant headaches
4. I'm tired all of the time and I don't feel like doing anything but doing nothing also gives me anxiety there is no winning.
5.i hate people and being around people
6. I honestly have a really bad personality
7. I feel like my depression is spreading to my younger siblings as they seem to be copying me when I visit and I don't want them to become like me
8. I don't really find any joy in anything anymore
9. I hate myself
10. I'm a liar and I feel like im even lying to myself sometimes
11. I pretend I'm smart because I was labeled as a gifted kid but honestly I'm a dumbass and I'm sick of expectations and keeping up lies.
12. I'm sick of faking infront of people and I'm sick of social expectations
13.i feel like destroying everything around me constantly and honestly scared there's a possibility I may harm someone before harming myself.

Okay anyone who wants to play list your 13 reasons
Ngl couldn't fit it all in with 13

1. I no longer see sense in living and in life itself, I have existential crises constantly.

2. I only transmit sadness and melancholy and pessimism, and this is happening to those who live with me as my family, they are getting tired of dealing with me

3. I bitterly regret having started SH is an addiction and I feel ashamed to wear short sleeves so where I go I don't feel well, and I feel that I will never be able to live without SH and stop hiding

4. I have no reason to stay, I don't have friends or partner, no one, I haven't spoken directly to outsiders for more than 4 months, I feel like I don't fit in anywhere and I don't like people's company

5. I have daily changes in thoughts, plans, humor and ways of thinking, opinions, I get lost I don't know what I like or I don't like, what I want to do or don't want to do, I keep contradicting what I say

6. I'm ugly, there's nothing I can do, my pulls are ugly, but on the other hand I don't even care so much about the opinions of others, we are just organs and meat skin moving around, but this while I live bothers me, and my low self-esteem affects others because I'm annoying and I'm sorry

7. I live daily with a lot of anxiety and obsessive thoughts and this is tiring and frustrating

8. I have no vision about the future so I don't want to rot working, I'm afraid of the future

9.I have doubts about my true personality so I hate everything about me

10.I lost years at school and it hurt me greatly

11. nothing cheers me up, I'm extremely tired and I can't do basic things, be alive are tiring

12. I have a lot of doubts about gender almost all year round and I don't know, but anyway it's tiring to deal with ignorant people and about transition and prejudice and all the thoughts about it, my family doesn't respect it doesn't accept and it brings me shame

13.I've always had social phobia and I think it will be like this forever if I stay alive, no matter how much I wanted to change, I have physical symptoms of anxiety when I'm in public

If this all seemed stupid, let me know and I'll delete it ;)

 

[kurisutinabestgirl]

1. I have some kind of chronic nerve pain throughout my whole body, which is accompanied by periodical migraines that last weeks
2. I injured my wrist 4 years ago, hasn't been the same since, and is constantly stopping me from going to the gym, one od the only things I can cling to : (
3. I have very bad anxiety and mainly social anxiety, very hard to connect with new people
4. Just started uni, I am always sitting in the corner by myself and can feel the menacing stares of other people all the time
5. I am probably going to drop out of uni, can't keep up with all the work while super depressed, for which my family (who have so far have been one of my main pillars) will absolutely despise me
6. Obviously a kissless hugless touchless virgin, don't see it ever changing
7. I am addicted to weed X) the only thing that helps me cheer up, ah man I fucking love it but I am a filthy addict..
8. I mess everything up always. I probably had chances in the past of developing more connections, or even relationships, but I am too socially inept to do anything about it
9. Nothing gets better. Everything just gets worse. Years ago, when I injured my wrist and developed my chronic pain, I was very worried about how long these problems will stay. Of course they stay forever, they are still here just as bad, now the chronic pain even has migraines working with it in synergy
10. I am the problem. This is one of the hardest realisations I had to come to so far, that I am the problem. Me not being able to develop new friendships at uni, and me most definitely dying as a virgin in the future, are because of me, because people find something revolting in me. Most people would say "But that's great, if it's not your looks holding you back then you have more control over the situation", yeah, I may not be ugly, but I have an ugly personality, and just like with looks, I can't change that. This is me, and no one likes me for being me.
11. I have nothing going for myself. I always fear small talk about what I like to do, because, I can't give an answer that won't repell people. What do I spend my free time doing? Smoking weed to fill my emotional void, reading visual novels to fill the romantic void in me, reading hentai to fill the sexual void X), going to the gym if my physical problems let me, to fit the self esteem void in me, and well oh, the list is exhausted, I guess you could add endless social media scrolling like reddit or youtube, but that doesn't fill any void, I just do it because I don't have the energy to do anything productive.
12. Nothing is fun anymore, everything is a dread, I can't enjoy things I used to enjoy
13. And the biggest one: Abundance of bad change, absence of good change. It's so easy for things to change in a bad direction, but good change never actually happens, and it absolutely drives me insane when I see everyone around me changing positively. I am convinced that the main "success" factor in life is luck. EVERYTHING IS FUCKING LUCK!! I am starting to contemplate whether we are in a simulation, with given luck statistics or something...

 

[cursedcure]

i'll play (trying to get my posts up so i can msg people).

1. i've had crippling anxiety, social and regular, for as long as i can remember. people are scary, and i hate being perceived. being out in public, i feel like i don't belong, i stick out. i only like being in my room, in my apartment. i barely go out at all, my friends have to come here to see me, and they all know not to bother the dragon in its den.

2. no ambition, i don't want to work, i don't want to do anything.

3. the future of the world is bleak, the few things that interest me that i could do for work don't pay well, i would forever be stuck in poverty. credit card debt too.

4. the only things i like doing are playing 1 video game obsessively until i get tired of it, watching movies or doing drugs.

5. i'm an alcoholic, i would do other drugs if i had the money, but i can only afford cheap beer. i've been addicted to other drugs. anything that knocks me out is good, i just want to feel less. but i also like uppers, cocaine on nights with friends, or amphetamines for playing video games obsessively.

6. years of substance abuse have made me slow. i used to be a bright child and i would pride myself on being smart, but i ended up achieving nothing. wasted potential.

7. tried a lot of things, meds, jobs, moving out, traveling, etc. nothing can change the fact that i don't wish to participate in life.

8. constantly depressed about the state of the world, the suffering that goes on, the helplessness i feel. i can't enjoy anything, clothes, objects, food, i only see the hurt it took to produce everything. i used to love fashion, now i only feel guilt. i haven't bought new clothes in years, and only second hand. i don't eat animal products at all, because i don't want to hurt animals either. i hate living under capitalism.

9. my body hurts, my back especially. i have terrible posture from hating being tall growing up. my body just feels "off". probably from my extremely sedentary lifestyle.

10. my parents have made me feel unlovable and it has ruined my relationships.

11. every thing i attempt seems harder for me than it is for other people. i struggle with a LOT. i failed a ton. i'm resilient, but i don't want to try anymore.

12. it takes me too long to heal, and i never heal properly. i just keep breaking and breaking. my heart feels so tight in my chest, all the time.

13. constant exhaustion. tired of thinking right now so that's it

 

[FuneralCry]

1. This world is such a disgusting and evil place, it repulses me, I don't believe it could ever be a desirable place to exist in, it's hellish.
2. The fact that there is immense potential for suffering in existence, I see existence as a horrific mistake
3. It's the reality that existence just causes harm, so it's something best avoided under all circumstances.
4. I find it so burdensome being trapped inside this decaying flesh prison that we are slaves to, I'd prefer to permanently be at peace and never have to suffer from physical health related problems in anyway.
5. I just don't want to suffer and the only way to avoid that is by dying, suicide is all that feels rational
6. Death comforts me, all that appeals to me is the thought of sleeping eternally.
7. I hate how this society is so anti-suicide with a lack of acceptance towards the right to die, makes me want to cease existing even more.
8. I see humans as the worst species and I just see it as a terrible curse having the ability to exist as one.
9. I'm just not meant for existing in any way.
10. I find existing dull, tedious, meaningless and futile, there's just no value in having the ability to exist.
11. I always dread what lies ahead, I despise how chance so cruelly determines everything in this existence
12. Death is objectively preferable as the non-existent cannot suffer from anything, all problems are ultimately as a result of existence itself, all that existence does is create problems there were never a need for.
13. It disturbs me the thought of reaching an old age, I view that as something to be avoided at all costs, death is preferable to pointless and meaningless suffering.

 

[Structural_Defect]

1. My nickname is raincloud. I literally bring sadness to everyone so much that they've nicknamed me.
2. I've tried all the antidepressants. They seem to cause more problems than they solve. They don't help all the other issues in my life.
3. I have no home. I know that home is what you make it and while technically i have shelter, i have nowhere safe to call my own.
4. I complain all the time. Here i am doing it again.
5. I don't contribute to shit. I am the lowest on the totem pole at work and wow, does every single coworker have to remind me?
6. I'm such a fucking pussy.
7. I'm so tired of pretending to be ok.
8. Tired of 2 steps forward and 3 steps back.
9. Tired of every goddamn thing in the world revolving around sex or how you look because guess what?? 10. I'm not conventionally attractive. I'm fat and as much as I'd love to be skinny for everyone, i like the taste of cheese and I'm hoping i won't be around long enough for obesity to kill me.
11. My lazy partner thinks I'm a lesbian because antidepressants and attitude killed my sex drive. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a lesbian, its just not what i am. This has led me to believe he hasn't been listening to anything I've said to him over the past year because i promise I've been telling him why I'm unhappy.
12. My memory is awful. I don't know what memories are real anymore.
13. I have no useful skills, as evidenced by my low paying job despite trying for more.
Bonus - Debt. Crippling debt.

 

[sserafim]

13. And the biggest one: Abundance of bad change, absence of good change. It's so easy for things to change in a bad direction, but good change never actually happens, and it absolutely drives me insane when I see everyone around me changing positively. I am convinced that the main "success" factor in life is luck. EVERYTHING IS FUCKING LUCK!! I am starting to contemplate whether we are in a simulation, with given luck statistics or something...

I agree! Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if this were true. The world truly does run on luck, I feel like luck is a bigger factor in things than people think and say it is

 

[SMmetalhead36]

1) I lost my sense of purpose
2) I have no hope
3) There's no real help for individuals that were physically, sexually and verbally abused.
4) I don't know why I am here
5) I'm tired of trying to get the most out of life
6) There's no changing my shitty past
7) My children deserve a better mother
8) My husband deserves a better wife
9) I'm mostly happy when I am drunk
10) I'm tired of living paycheck to paycheck and having debt.
11) I'm sick of this world
12) If you have a shitty life, then life is not a gift.
13) Finally, just wanting freedom from the physical and mental pain.

I could go on but...........

1. My nickname is raincloud. I literally bring sadness to everyone so much that they've nicknamed me.
2. I've tried all the antidepressants. They seem to cause more problems than they solve. They don't help all the other issues in my life.
3. I have no home. I know that home is what you make it and while technically i have shelter, i have nowhere safe to call my own.
4. I complain all the time. Here i am doing it again.
5. I don't contribute to shit. I am the lowest on the totem pole at work and wow, does every single coworker have to remind me?
6. I'm such a fucking pussy.
7. I'm so tired of pretending to be ok.
8. Tired of 2 steps forward and 3 steps back.
9. Tired of every goddamn thing in the world revolving around sex or how you look because guess what?? 10. I'm not conventionally attractive. I'm fat and as much as I'd love to be skinny for everyone, i like the taste of cheese and I'm hoping i won't be around long enough for obesity to kill me.
11. My lazy partner thinks I'm a lesbian because antidepressants and attitude killed my sex drive. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a lesbian, its just not what i am. This has led me to believe he hasn't been listening to anything I've said to him over the past year because i promise I've been telling him why I'm unhappy.
12. My memory is awful. I don't know what memories are real anymore.
13. I have no useful skills, as evidenced by my low paying job despite trying for more.
Bonus - Debt. Crippling debt.

I agree with your number 7 and 8!

 

[samsara_96]

1. I lost my raison d'etre.
2. I am too tired to get a new one.
3. The world is too cruel.
4. I feel guilty for enjoying my time here when I am full aware that hundreds of millions of people are suffering.
5. I do not have enough number of good memories to think about when I am older.
6. I do not see any possibility of making good memories.
7. I have always been a weird kid. So, my childhood only ended up poisoning my soul.
8. I used to have terrible sleep paralysis which affected my mental health greatly.
9. I ended up interpreting my nightmares as being due to a terrible crime I committed before I occupied this body. My sleep paralysis always felt so real as if they were memories. Even now I can remember them more clearly than my own childhood memories. I am truly sorry for who I think I was but I want to stop the pains now.
10. I made peace with death and afterlife. I take full responsibility for the possible sin that I want to carry out.
11. I do not think that modern society allows anyone to be truly happy. So, I cannot be bothered to check if things will get better for me.
12. I never knew how to enjoy life (This may be my main reason)
13. The other people seem to know how to enjoy their life and we are running out of resources. I would rather have somebody else use the resources that is meant for me. I do not want them.

 

[borderlinee]

1. Childhood trauma, I can't handle it.
2. Parents and family relations.
3. Having ADHD, I feel completely useless to society and struggle with executive dysfunction.
4. Social anxiety, I'm horrified of people and can barely get out of the house.
5. BPD, I'm in horrible emotional pain everyday and everything about this disorder just sucks.
6. Capitalism, I don't wanna work for the rest of my life so I can barely afford to live.
7. Not being able to have close, secure relationships so I'm mostly isolated.
8. Climate change and collapse, no thanks!
9. Physical pain, I hate being stuck in this flesh prison where I can feel horrible pain at any time.
10. Philosophical reasons, I believe non-existence is superior and I'm tired of suffering because of will.
11. I'm bored and exhausted.
12. I don't see the reason for getting better or living.
13. I just don't wanna risk anymore suffering in the future.

 

[SpiritualDeath]

1. I was a mistake. I shouldn't have been born. The pregnancy was unexpected. My mother literally told me she didn't want to have children but there I was out of the blue. She was already suffering from domestic violence when I was still in the womb and she thought about aborting me quite a few times, but satan knows why she didn't (that would be such a wise thing to do).
2. I'm just a nobody doing repetitive things every day just like anyone else. Even as just a cog in the machine there's no *need* for me to be here (and suffer) since I can easily be replaced by plenty of those that can do my job.
3. I'm a slave to my own body. I'm forced to do certain things for it. If I fail to do any of these things "correctly" I suffer. Even if I manage to do those things there's a chance I still suffer somehow. In this existence there's infinite ways for things to go wrong, and I suffer just because I'm a sentient being. That's how absurd it is.
4. I'm mentally screwed. I can't enjoy most of the things most people seem to enjoy these days. e.g. friendship, relationship, dating, traveling, games, nights out, etc. These things don't even bring me a scrap of enjoyment. They just drain my energy straight up.
5. I'm a born pessimist who just have a sensitive "radar" that's naturally detecting what's going wrong. This tendency started when I was very young. And, it's ALL SO FUCKING WRONG.
6. I'm never satisfied. I know how I can never resolve problems 100% bc no system works perfectly (every system has cracks that'll show up at some point). I want to never create the problems, or to end it all.
7. Similar to 6, there's really no point in repairing the systems in life (because you need it to survive), just to wait for it to be broken again and repair it again, and doing this again and again and again until you die.
8. I realized all those "hopes and dreams" I once had are nothing but illusions. In reality things related to this are directly causing me pain, while the "hopes and dreams" part does nothing but keeping me blind to what's actually the source of my pain. It's never anything positive.
9. I'm not gonna start a family. Definitely a big red fking NO to having children. I never want to grow old and suffer from old age related illnesses or other problems.
10. This existence is beyond cruel. Even the genuine pleasure you can find here can be a giant trap. For example, love is known for trapping people in the loop of suffering (toxic relationships etc). No pleasure is permanent, so life can easily take those enjoyment away from you and throw you back to hell. This way you're not only suffering again, but also prone to dependence (i.e. you'll do anything to try to get that happiness back). This is how addiction exists.
11. I find it harder and harder to be around ppl these days. I'm sick of all the useless and meaningless conflicts, competitions (rat races) and drama when humans gather around.
12. Going to therapy, making friends, taking some pills, focusing on small and concrete things, etc. is not gonna make reality unreal.
13. I have a feeling that if I continue being like this, eventually I'll find most of the things we do ridiculous, wrong or unacceptable. Then ending it all would be the only thing that's right and worth doing for me I guess.

 

[MiMif]

1. I have some kind of chronic nerve pain throughout my whole body, which is accompanied by periodical migraines that last weeks
2. I injured my wrist 4 years ago, hasn't been the same since, and is constantly stopping me from going to the gym, one od the only things I can cling to : (
3. I have very bad anxiety and mainly social anxiety, very hard to connect with new people
4. Just started uni, I am always sitting in the corner by myself and can feel the menacing stares of other people all the time
5. I am probably going to drop out of uni, can't keep up with all the work while super depressed, for which my family (who have so far have been one of my main pillars) will absolutely despise me
6. Obviously a kissless hugless touchless virgin, don't see it ever changing
7. I am addicted to weed X) the only thing that helps me cheer up, ah man I fucking love it but I am a filthy addict..
8. I mess everything up always. I probably had chances in the past of developing more connections, or even relationships, but I am too socially inept to do anything about it
9. Nothing gets better. Everything just gets worse. Years ago, when I injured my wrist and developed my chronic pain, I was very worried about how long these problems will stay. Of course they stay forever, they are still here just as bad, now the chronic pain even has migraines working with it in synergy
10. I am the problem. This is one of the hardest realisations I had to come to so far, that I am the problem. Me not being able to develop new friendships at uni, and me most definitely dying as a virgin in the future, are because of me, because people find something revolting in me. Most people would say "But that's great, if it's not your looks holding you back then you have more control over the situation", yeah, I may not be ugly, but I have an ugly personality, and just like with looks, I can't change that. This is me, and no one likes me for being me.
11. I have nothing going for myself. I always fear small talk about what I like to do, because, I can't give an answer that won't repell people. What do I spend my free time doing? Smoking weed to fill my emotional void, reading visual novels to fill the romantic void in me, reading hentai to fill the sexual void X), going to the gym if my physical problems let me, to fit the self esteem void in me, and well oh, the list is exhausted, I guess you could add endless social media scrolling like reddit or youtube, but that doesn't fill any void, I just do it because I don't have the energy to do anything productive.
12. Nothing is fun anymore, everything is a dread, I can't enjoy things I used to enjoy
13. And the biggest one: Abundance of bad change, absence of good change. It's so easy for things to change in a bad direction, but good change never actually happens, and it absolutely drives me insane when I see everyone around me changing positively. I am convinced that the main "success" factor in life is luck. EVERYTHING IS FUCKING LUCK!! I am starting to contemplate whether we are in a simulation, with given luck statistics or something...

I relate to your #10 so much

 

[justacagedbird]

Just thought it would be fun lol anyway list your 13 reasons! I'm going first

1.I have no real connection with anyone and no matter how hard I try I honestly don't give a damn about anyone and I won't ever make any real connection because I'm incapable of it
2.I feel life has no real meaning and honestly I was probably born broken I should've never been born in the first place my existence isn't even paining only myself anymore its spreading to others
3. I'm basically a walking corspe and I do absolutely nothing I have also been getting constant headaches
4. I'm tired all of the time and I don't feel like doing anything but doing nothing also gives me anxiety there is no winning.
5.i hate people and being around people
6. I honestly have a really bad personality
7. I feel like my depression is spreading to my younger siblings as they seem to be copying me when I visit and I don't want them to become like me
8. I don't really find any joy in anything anymore
9. I hate myself
10. I'm a liar and I feel like im even lying to myself sometimes
11. I pretend I'm smart because I was labeled as a gifted kid but honestly I'm a dumbass and I'm sick of expectations and keeping up lies.
12. I'm sick of faking infront of people and I'm sick of social expectations
13.i feel like destroying everything around me constantly and honestly scared there's a possibility I may harm someone before harming myself.

Okay anyone who wants to play list your 13 reasons
Ngl couldn't fit it all in with 13

1. I hate my body
2. I'm a terrible person
3. Everything always goes wrong the second I think it's looking up
4. I'm a burden on many people
5. This world is honestly so terrible to live in
6. Nothing is fun anymore
7. I sleep 24/7 and it'd be great if that was permanent
8. I'm in a constant cycle of work
9. Every day feels the same
10. I have very little friends
11. My family is all made of sickening people
12. I'm constantly overthinking everything and it's made me miserable
13. I feel totally useless to everyone in my life

 

[sserafim]

Just thought it would be fun lol anyway list your 13 reasons! I'm going first

1.I have no real connection with anyone and no matter how hard I try I honestly don't give a damn about anyone and I won't ever make any real connection because I'm incapable of it
2.I feel life has no real meaning and honestly I was probably born broken I should've never been born in the first place my existence isn't even paining only myself anymore its spreading to others
3. I'm basically a walking corspe and I do absolutely nothing I have also been getting constant headaches
4. I'm tired all of the time and I don't feel like doing anything but doing nothing also gives me anxiety there is no winning.
5.i hate people and being around people
6. I honestly have a really bad personality
7. I feel like my depression is spreading to my younger siblings as they seem to be copying me when I visit and I don't want them to become like me
8. I don't really find any joy in anything anymore
9. I hate myself
10. I'm a liar and I feel like im even lying to myself sometimes
11. I pretend I'm smart because I was labeled as a gifted kid but honestly I'm a dumbass and I'm sick of expectations and keeping up lies.
12. I'm sick of faking infront of people and I'm sick of social expectations
13.i feel like destroying everything around me constantly and honestly scared there's a possibility I may harm someone before harming myself.

Okay anyone who wants to play list your 13 reasons
Ngl couldn't fit it all in with 13

1. Neurodivergence (Asperger's/autism, ADHD, social anxiety)
2. Capitalism. I hate the fact that we have to work for a living and become slaves to capitalism. I think that life under capitalism would be so meaningless and unfulfilling. I never want to enter the workforce or working world! I hate the fact that we all have to buy into this capitalist system of a society. Honestly capitalism and capitalist society is a pyramid scheme.
3. Failure to launch/no future. I failed to launch after college, but I don't see a future for myself nor do I want one. I don't have a dream job or career. I don't dream of labor. I never wanted to enter adulthood anyways but sadly I was forced to due to the passage of time. Idk how anyone could actually look forward to being an adult, ever since I was a kid I never wanted to grow up. I don't have any drive, motivation or ambition. I never wanted to be an adult and I just want out now! I don't want to have to continue living my life anymore. I never wanted to reach this stage of life! I also had no plans for my life as an adult because I thought I would've ctb'ed before becoming one. I also had no plans for my life after college bc I thought I would've ctb'ed before I graduated. I never even expected to live past college.
4. Adulthood. I never want to become a real adult! I don't want to slave away for 50 years. I would hate that kind of existence. I would hate to do the same thing every day. That would be so boring and I'd rather die! I would hate to be a cog in the capitalist machine/system. I would also hate to have to do all the adult things like pay bills, rent, mortgage, taxes, and the many other costs of existence. I hate all of the demands and responsibilities that come with being an adult and I never want to be one! I hate the fact that I'm expected to become independent and make my own living. I just don't feel ready for the responsibilities, obligations and demands of adult life. Ugh I wish I could be a kid again! I hate the fact that I had to grow up. I don't want anything in adulthood either. I don't want a partner or family, I never want to get married or have kids. I'm aroace and I honestly don't see a point in it. The things adults do just seem meaningless to me tbh. I hate the fact that society has a checklist you have to follow to be deemed "successful". I don't want any of these things!
5. Having to work for a living. I hate the fact that it costs money to live in the world and we have to work for and earn our livings, and pay to exist on a planet we had no say or choice in being on. The thought of having to work for a living actively makes me suicidal. I'd hate to be trapped in a soul-sucking job for the rest of my life. I'd hate to be chained down to a job.
6. The meaninglessness of life. There's really no point to life, and I don't think that life has a meaning, even more so life under capitalism. I would hate to have to work for 50 years of my life. That just sounds so depressing. It would be so meaningless and unfulfilling.
7. Old age. I never want to get old! I don't see a point in having to get old, your body and mind just deteriorate. I'd rather just die now instead of having to reach adulthood and old age. We all die in the end anyways so why not die when you're still young?
8. Society. I'm just not a good fit for society due to my neurodivergence, and I hate the fact that I'm expected to participate in it.
9. Not being meant for this world. I feel like an alien, and like I'm on the wrong planet.
10. The mundaneness of life. I hate that it's a chore to exist and we have to do little things just to survive. The boringness of life literally makes me want to die.
11. Social-oriented world. I hate the fact that the world runs on social interaction. I hate talking to and interacting with people and I hate that my eventual survival depends on it.
12. I hate being a human being. I never wanted to be one in the first place. I've honestly never felt like one either. I feel more like an alien. Human beings are like a foreign species to me.
13. Responsibilities, worries, obligations, demands (of life and adulthood). I hate adulthood and being an adult! There's nothing good in being one. I'm so sick of adulthood and all of it's demands! Life already makes me exhausted and I'm not even adulting. Life is just so tiring and I don't want to have to live another day. I think I probably have depression and chronic fatigue…ugh I just hate being a human and an adult!!

I don't even want to live that long anyways. I don't see the point in it. I can't even imagine living for another 2 years, let alone 60. The thought of having to live for another 60 years is depressing, and sickens me. My exit point is 25 maximum. I've also lived as long as I wanted to already. I've experienced everything I wanted to in life and I don't see a point in living anymore. Adulthood just isn't something I want to experience for myself, neither is middle age or old age. I never want to reach 30! The thought of me being 30 sickens me. I will make sure that I will die before 25. I will never live beyond my mid-20s! Also an extra:

14. My life will only get worse. I feel like this is the best time of my life and that it'll only get worse from here. I'd rather die now before it actually does.

 

[vampire2002]

1. being abused as a child, especially sexually but really in all ways
2. being sexually assaulted again as an adult
3. the unbearable mental illnesses i have been dealt as a result of the above
4. my lack of motivation and apathy towards my goals in life even though i do desire to achieve them
5. pure self-loathing. i'm honestly a terrible person and i can't stand myself, can't even stand looking at myself in the mirror
6. i have chronic migraines, even have one as i type this. it's so exhausting and impedes so many things
7. i should never have been born at all as i was conceived through sexual assault
8. it would be easier on my family financially if i died, i don't get along with most of them aside from a few members anyway
9. severely stressed about moving out and finding a job in time
10. i really just feel completely useless and i hate when people try to help me as it only makes me feel guilty for wasting their time on someone as hopeless as me
11. i'm talentless, everything i enjoy and love doing i'm utterly terrible at and could never make a living doing, so being a "wage slave" seems unbearable yet unavoidable
12. i'm severely isolated and struggle to connect with people despite truly wanting to, i think i'm off-putting to most people and they get annoyed with me. or just think i'm weird or creepy since i'm quiet most of the time.
13. one day my cat will die and i want to go with her
tbh i could probably write 1300 reasons if i had enough time lol

 

[brokeandbroken]

1. Victim of crimes
2. Career stolen from me-doctor
3. Extreme educational debt without possibility of even being able to repay or benefit from
4. No company willing to even contemplate hiring me
5. No pathway to a future. It's either being completely and utterly broke likely homeless working as a fry cook at McDonald's (maybe doubt id even get an interview) for minimum wage despite having a degree and having been in medical school or be dead. See crimes...
6. No friends
7. No family
8. No value on the dating market because of the above
9. No joy
10. I don't care or trust people anymore...
11. Pain/suffering
12. Knowing those who harmed me will never receive justice...
13. Want to find peace and make it (inside) the pearly gates.

 

[sserafim]

9. I ended up interpreting my nightmares as being due to a terrible crime I committed before I occupied this body. My sleep paralysis always felt so real as if they were memories. Even now I can remember them more clearly than my own childhood memories. I am truly sorry for who I think I was but I want to stop the pains now.

Wdym? How did you know and figure out your past life?

 

[Gonnerr]

1 Thru 13 ;

Life = Hell in a decaying body and society
Nothingness = Heaven, no pain , no worries , sleeping forever

 

[samsara_96]

Wdym? How did you know and figure out your past life?

I didn't know it. I just interpreted my dream to be that way. I did a case by case analysis. 1. God is real but manevolent (e.g. most religions): My dreams are basically meaningless and I do not need to worry about daily occurrences as we must be trapped in a headache inducing randomness. 2. God is real and benevolent (e.g. my interpretation of Kant with slight adjustments that is reincarnation in afterlife but only this world exists and there is no end nor beginning): My dreams must have a valid meaning for me as meaning is essential for human understanding. My recurring nightmares feel like memories and they must be due to a previous sin that my consciouness committed. 3. Materialist solution to mind-body dualism is correct: My dreams are again meaningless. However, we are not trapped anywhere as things just happen. There could be a mechanical explanation to my dreams (such as a repressed childhood memory) but nothing will matter after my body decomposes anyway.

The first and third cases are similar and there is nothing I can do to change those realities because I do not have any type of control over how other consciousnesses choose to behave. I would be just a victim of existence in these two cases and my will to die would be justified. In the second case, I should repent for my actions. The second case sounds like the most cruel out of the three so, I believe that to be true because my experiences until now implies to me that the most cruel truth is always the "real" truth. I would love to talk to a trustable medium one day to investigate my claims in depth but most occult appears to be a hoax.

 

[iamsofkntired]

1. I don't want to do anything with my future
2. Living and doing life in general sounds tiring
3. I want to be with my boyfriend again
4. I know that I will only cause pain to my family even of they don't know it
5. Tbh want to be a talk at the school cuz they boring af
6.wont have to study and worry about college
7.maybe something better is waiting on the other side
8.i don't feel any excitement about life ITS BORING
9.make my relatives finally shut up
10. Want to know what happens after death
11.leave this fucked up world with wars and shit
12.my boyfriend again but i feel like he expects me to die after him
13. Feel like a burden to everyone and ctb is generally what I want .

 

[peachchildtenshi]

1. I don't see a purpose in continuing to live while suffering
2. Unbearable amount of guilt I brought upon myself
3. Everything is my fault
4. No one cares or loves me enough
5. I refuse to receive help or advice because I just can't despite years of loneliness and despair
6. I am afraid of my own uncertain future
7. Everyone is just lying and putting up a facade to pretend like they care
8. I just like being alone
9. I could never bring myself back to who I was
10. I could never forgive myself
11. I no longer feel any sort of meaningful connection with anyone
12. I feel like having a mental breakdown from time to time due to untreated mental health issues
13. I want to possibly live a new life, I hate myself

I honestly wish I could end it all but, my SI is quite high and I can be completely numb or out of touch sometimes with my emotions
delaying my inevitable death.
I wish I could go sooner.

 

[HAL 9000]

1. People are cruel
2. The Universe is random and indifferent
3. Flesh is disgusting and must be transcended

All of the other 10 problems stem from these three. Other people ITT have given similar answers so I see no point in reiterating them.

 

[sserafim]

1. People are cruel
2. The Universe is random and indifferent
3. Flesh is disgusting and must be transcended

All of the other 10 problems stem from these three. Other people ITT have given similar answers so I see no point in reiterating them.

I agree. I hate the fact that the universe is random and indifferent. Everything just depends on chance. I also think that flesh is disgusting. Btw, what do you mean flesh must be transcended? Like we live in the metaverse instead and become pure consciousness, with no need for biological bodies anymore?

 

[HAL 9000]

I agree. I hate the fact that the universe is random and indifferent. Everything just depends on chance. I also think that flesh is disgusting. Btw, what do you mean flesh must be transcended? Like we live in the metaverse instead and become pure consciousness, with no need for biological bodies anymore?

Proximity and happenstance is all there is. Had a Predator spotted the first creature that crawled out of the sea we wouldn't be having this conversation.

There's a central theme in many schools of thought that propose that everything is connected on a molecular level. Once we reach a certain technological threshold, Carbon based life will be rendered obsolete. We can become beings of Light at the expense of our bodies and Egos. It's either that or The Void. I'm cool with either ending...so long as I don't come back to whatever this is.

 

[natthebrat]

1. It's just easier than trying to make life better.
2. Working is miserable. Just about every job requires interaction with people nowadays and that's only going to get more and more true as time goes on.
3. It isn't fair to expect others to support me.
4. I worry that I'll lose my gf, even if not due to my inability to provide, because of something unrelated.
5. I'm extremely socially awkward and therefore don't connect with others easily.
6. I'm a terrible, toxic person and deserve misery.
7. I missed out on my golden years bc I wasn't allowed to transition younger and was too scared to assert my need to.
8. I can't get motivated to do my hobbies anymore and haven't for a very long time.
9. While there are things I enjoy, they don't really make me feel any better about the things that make me miserable.
10. The small improvement I have made by transitioning is going to be taken away once my state bans gender-affirming care, and there's no way I'll be able to move out of that state anytime soon.
11. I hate my parents, the only people I'm 100% sure I can fall back on.
12. I'm essentially panicking all of the time, sometimes even for no reason at all.
13. I have to face fear of death at some point anyway, might as well only face that one uncertainty as opposed to that one plus loads of other uncertainties in between.

 

[Shiva_Story]

1. Purposlesness
2. Social isolation
3. Unable to find partner
4. Aging
5. The game of life is rigged and based on competetive mutual exploitation instead of cooperation
6. I don't want to participate in this game
7. The suffering in my life outweighs the pleasure
8. I'm not aware of any pleasure that would justify my engagement in this spacetime matrix
9. My options in life seem super basic and unsatisfactory
10. The story of this biological form of life revolves around attaining desires for food, safety wealth & power in a loop, which seems mundane, boring and superficial
11. I'd rather live a short life packed with experiences and go out with dignity as an asset, than live long life as an NPC being a liability and burden
12. I've ran out of hopium
13. I want to excersize my will and check out of this mad system bcs f society

 

[leavingsoon99]

1.) I feel like there's no point to my life. I feel like I was just put here.
2.) I'm late-diagnosed autistic. I cannot function in this life.
3.) Childhood trauma haunts me.
4.) I have no real family nor friends here.
5.) Insurmountable debt
6.) Deteriorating health.
7.) Limited career possibilities.
8.) (Macro) Society is descending into dystopian-level chaos and hopelessness.
9.) It sounds weird, but I just feel like this life is programmed against me. Like I'm here to fail and suffer. Good rarely happens to me, yet I'm always around people who are immensely blessed and get breaks all the time.
10.) (Macro) The impending devolution of humans. Since COVID, people have just plain devolved. They're buying guns and seriously planning on killing each other. No thanks.
11.) (Macro) Food shortages and water scarcity.
12.) I'm bored. Nothing interests me. I want to pursue hobbies, but I can't find any that excite me.
13.) No woman wants me.

 

[username8888]

I got out of my cave and started to use internet like a normal being. Sorry for my broken English. I will try to write for fun.

---

1. Curiosity. I am curious about the afterlife. I am curious whether it will be eternal sleep or ideal situation for me. I am just curious about it. I guess, death is kind of like an American Dream for me.

2. Shorter the life the better. I set my goal to kill myself painlessly in Sarco or Nitrogen Gas when I become 26 years old.

My analogy: If you had only 24 hours and you are in France, you would visit the Eiffel Tower. But If you had 240 years and you are in France, you wouldn't even see Eiffel Tower and die. The longer the life the more you delay the satisfaction. This analogy works for me at least.​

3. Human body. I am just bored of using a flesh body. I got bored of eating food, pooping and wearing clothes and such.

4. Painlessness. I want to experience total painlessness. And my guess is that after life is complete painlessness for me. Pain is an overrated biological system like body hairs. They exist but I could get by way easier.

More on painlessness, my best experience was when I was in dentist having injected total pain killer syrup. It was way fascinating for me seeing the dentist breaking all of my teeth to fix my jaw. It was fun. It was way fun than having sex, or I don't know you get the idea.​

​

5. Ugliness. Don't get me wrong it is a totally subjective statement, but for me all anatomies are ugly except juicy smooth clean female/girl/woman anatomy. It would be cool if all the living thing were femaleoid anatomy including.

Before finding me weird let me explain why I made such a statement. Simply, one of my friend is a drawer. Every time I spend time with her, she just draws every living thing, nonliving thing, dogs, bugs, even pizza, as a sexy female shaped creatures. And every time she draws that she makes our day.​

​

She is well-enough drawer but when I see her drawing these creatures I get fascinated by her soul and the total anatomies vibes. And I am like 'damn if it's that cool, I guess after life is kind of like that.' She always draws, clean, juicy, smooth and painless... and sometimes she adds penis to the female creatures... That's another topic--- Don't look at me like that I am hetero I just admire the shapes :l.​

​

I mean the way she draws make them are believable. Contemporary. And again 'damn if it's that cool and painless, I guess after life is kind of like that.'​

​

If it weren't that shy I would make her share some of her photos but... Anyway that was my point number 5. Ugliness.​

​

6. Unstable Country. I am living in a third world country. And the government makes my life a hard mode game. I am not in the worst place but the best place. I am just in between them but slightly closer to the worst place. Country is a reason for me to kill myself via Sarco/N2 in Switzerland when I become 26. The country is making saving harder by letting our currency fall down while I am trying to save my money to go to Swiss. But unstable country is just making me plan faster than it should be.

7. Sarco / Nitrogen gas. I think painless death is a gift as Socrates said. And I want to experience the painless death via Sarco or N2 gas. I don't know. They are cool for me.

8. Switzerland. Their criminal code is jaw dropping for me. And the way they see the death as a civil thing. I guess it just motivated for me to experience the painless death as quickly as possible. Swiss are cool.

9. A potential famine in 2030. It's not that big reason compare to rest but when I think about it. Overpopulation and not enough food. No thanks. I have experiment 10 + 7 day of harsh famine in Africa before. I better be leaving early.

10. Unstable Currency. Inflation and money is a weird thing. Ten years ago it would enough for me to earn the needed amount of money to die in Sarco... Nowadays, I have to work a year or two to save that amount of money. The potential money currency problems are making me crazy. So that would be another reason. I just want to save it, and use it on Sarco or N2.

11. My body has been sickened enough. I have terrible sleep apnea. It just blocks my lungs so bad. Even if i cured it I would want to die painlessly. I am enough of this thing!

12. Sex flaws. Possibility of HIV and having an unwanted child. No thanks. I am sick of these possibilities. I don't want to use condom. And also I don't want to give blood every time I want to have sex with someone. Possible unwanted child and viruses kill the joy out of sex.

13. Seagulls. Normally, I wasn't going to add seagulls but let me hear. These non stopping loud birds are too overcrowded that they created their gangs on the streets. They don't stop shouting and it just irritates my ears a lot. It's been that way since pandemic had finished. Damn. They are too loud that I rather be deaf than listening to that. I am using ear buffs while typing these.



I wrote them for fun.

I don't even want to live that long anyways. I don't see the point in it. I can't even imagine living for another 2 years, let alone 60. The thought of having to live for another 60 years is depressing, and sickens me. My exit point is 25 maximum. I've also lived as long as I wanted to already. I've experienced everything I wanted to in life

Thanks ifeelthelight,

Finally someone understood that some people want to just live short and satisfied lives rather than long and tiresome lives.

Mine is maximum 26. I have already started saving. I will kill myself painlessly in Switzerland via Sarco or Nitrogen gas.

Death comforts me, all that appeals to me is the thought of sleeping eternally.

FuneralCry, your words are calming. I guess your aura is calming and your profile picture. As if I am reading a divine text or something :). Also, thinking about sleeping eternally can be a cool.

 

[filthystray]

1. I'm transgender, broke people like me can only dream of getting the surgeries they need to not always feel violated by my own body. And also nothing can give me the childhood I was supposed to have nor can I have the options for romantic partners as an adult that cis people have

2. I'm diabetic and nothing like being in america to remind you that if you can't cough up the dough to use one of your organs then everyone else is okay with you being dead

3. I can't escape the wounds from the past, all the truama will just be with me as long as I live

4. I can't escape the guilt from those I have emotionally hurt in the past. Even if it was unintentional it's still my 3 AM thought

5. My lack of aspirations. I know I always want to be more but depression has stolen everything from me. I don't even know what I would like to work towards because I don't like anything

6. Nothing is fun to me anymore. For the same reason as above I don't know what I like and new things almost never leave a lasting impact so it's like... What's the point?

7. The disfunctional way I connect with people. I have been so hurt by people I love that I can't trust anyone fully. And emotionally I can't seem to pick whether I love my already made connections with all my heart or if they make me irrationally angry and I hate them

8. Depression. Have been dealing with it since I was 8 years old telling my mom I'm sad everyday. Now that I have been actively seeking treatment though... Well lucky me it seems very resistent to meds. Which is a problem because I think my depression is clinical as well as situational

9. I hate this world, a lot of people are so evil and they leave everyone else to hurt. I hate seeing suffering

10. Working, I know may seem stupid but to me there is nothing worse than going to this place where the mix of people is usually toxic and makes me angry then dealing with feeling bad for getting so angry just so I can make sure that I have a place to lay my worthless head down

11. The relationship I have with myself. I hate almost everything I do. That's about all I have to say about it

12. The way I can't even make myself do basic things to take care of myself. I feel so hallow or in pain after going through the motions for the day... All I want is to have a yummy tasting meal and a nap. But everything tastes so bland and my mind won't shut up long enough for me to get good sleep

13. Everything just hurts. I thought that this would be a good one to end on because it just wraps everything up. My family, my SO, my lack of friendship, the way I feel lonely even though I have people, my mind, my emotions, my health, my body, my hobbies and ambitions (or lack thereof), this world, the people that populate it. All of it just hurts to me eventually, even the things where I can see a bit of positivity in it

 

[maka]

Too tired so I'll come back and edit this later but

1. No one loves me
2. No genuine people out there to trust enough to get close to
3. Ex best friend who meant the world to me left, haven't been able to find hope all these years later
4. Capitalism and working. I hate having to work so much.
5. CPTSD/guilt. I can't bare living with these emotions.
6. Chronic fatigue
7. This world is only getting worse, I don't want to get caught up in the collapse
8. Mommy issues
9. Humans suck and are mean
10. Every day is the same
11. I am fat, ugly, and autistic
12. Living with mental illness is unfair suffering
13. I'm exhausted and just want to sleep