I hate free time

[AS.star]

I wake up, I feel like shit, I get paranoid about something, I go study for 8 hours barely alive from insomnia and not eating well from stress and when I'm finally at home - I'm miserable even more.
I can't stop overthinking, I feel pain in my chest and I don't believe in getting any better soon, I can't rest in the abusive household,
there was a flood too and the house is getting renovated (floor, walls, everything, we have only a microwave for warming up the food)
It's so loud, there's nothing, I can't even eat or sit in my room more than 5 minutes because of workers.
I have severe social anxiety I hate it.
I feel unsafe outside my locked room.

I don't know what to do in my free time, I'm unable to take a nap to pass the time or normally lay down cause of the renovation. I don't have any friends, besides it's really cold outside, the alone walks at the night don't help anymore. Everything just got worse and unbelievably heavy on me and every hobby I had brings me only sadness.
The only thing I do in my free time is crying non stop, nothing brings comfort and peace.
Death seems nicer than usual. I seek it more and more.

Do you guys feel the similar way?
I send you all hugs, maybe it will all get better for all of us

 

[LastNite]

Used to feel the same way with school and studying. Barely spoke to anyone just on a loop of endless studying and barely getting any good sleep. I quit school decided I wanna get a GED. It's a tough life. I hope you feel better soon. Keep studying and dont stress too much!

 

[AS.star]

Used to feel the same way with school and studying. Barely spoke to anyone just on a loop of endless studying and barely getting any good sleep. I quit school decided I wanna get a GED. It's a tough life. I hope you feel better soon. Keep studying and dont stress too much!

Thank you :3 I'm trying my best if it comes to school
I hope it will all get better or at least bearable, for you too!

 

[unluckysadness]

I have severe social anxiety too (and a LOT of other issues). I don't have friends and I'm ready to leave. I just have to decide on a date but I also overthink and I have a strong SI. Fuck !!

 

[KlixxFoxe]

Yeah I feel the same and understand you. Except the fact that I do not study and have to go to work and talk to people, which are not really nice to me. So yeah, it always can be worse

 

[AS.star]

Yeah I feel the same and understand you. Except the fact that I do not study and have to go to work and talk to people, which are not really nice to me. So yeah, it always can be worse

I work once per week, I'm studying to become a hairstylist, Fuck mean customers and coworkers, I send you hugs!

 

[Hotsackage]

I wake up, I feel like shit, I get paranoid about something, I go study for 8 hours barely alive from insomnia and not eating well from stress and when I'm finally at home - I'm miserable even more.
I can't stop overthinking, I feel pain in my chest and I don't believe in getting any better soon, I can't rest in the abusive household,
there was a flood too and the house is getting renovated (floor, walls, everything, we have only a microwave for warming up the food)
It's so loud, there's nothing, I can't even eat or sit in my room more than 5 minutes because of workers.
I have severe social anxiety I hate it.
I feel unsafe outside my locked room.

I don't know what to do in my free time, I'm unable to take a nap to pass the time or normally lay down cause of the renovation. I don't have any friends, besides it's really cold outside, the alone walks at the night don't help anymore. Everything just got worse and unbelievably heavy on me and every hobby I had brings me only sadness.
The only thing I do in my free time is crying non stop, nothing brings comfort and peace.
Death seems nicer than usual. I seek it more and more.

Do you guys feel the similar way?
I send you all hugs, maybe it will all get better for all of us

take up walking, im serious, it actually helps depression a lot. dont even need to do a lot. but i get where youre coming from, you only have so much ability to do anything

 

[apearl]

I relate a ton to a lot of the stuff u talk about,

I wake up, I feel like shit, I get paranoid about something, I go study for 8 hours barely alive from insomnia and not eating well from stress and when I'm finally at home - I'm miserable even more.

I have a lot of free time because I'm just a full time college student and it's kinda driving me insane because I fill all my free time with "I should be doing something more productive" thoughts but at the same time I'm too socially anxious/depressed to follow through on that productivity so it's just a cycle of self-loathing that keeps multiplying.

besides it's really cold outside, the alone walks at the night don't help anymore

u go on night walks too?! They work for me sometimes to drown it all out. The cold actually helps me out because instead of thinking about how much of a failure I am I gotta focus on the fact my hands hurt from frost bite.

I'm sorry your brains really getting to you, I hope you can find good coping skills to make it more tolerable.

 

[vig919]

I hate free time now. I work 7 days a week to keep my mind from wandering and eating itself.

 

[Bruce]

@AS.star Where are you from? Don't tell me specific location! Tell me about the environment. Do you like reading? Maybe if you could find the right book(s), the right author(s), maybe you could go out (walk) to a more secluded are in the forest or on the beach and read there. If you live in a city then you could go to a park. Don a pair of headphones, start a background noise app and you're in your world. You can do this when there is noise in the apartment. Walk away from it. I do this when there are parties in my area, I walk away.

 

[AS.star]

@AS.star Where are you from? Don't tell me specific location! Tell me about the environment. Do you like reading? Maybe if you could find the right book(s), the right author(s), maybe you could go out (walk) to a more secluded are in the forest or on the beach and read there. If you live in a city then you could go to a park. Don a pair of headphones, start a background noise app and you're in your world. You can do this when there is noise in the apartment. Walk away from it. I do this when there are parties in my area, I walk away.

I live in a post communism small Slavic town
there's block of flats and small forests everywhere
I go for a walk on fields and places there's no people
sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't :')

I read books! I just haven't felt good and I can't bring myself to read any book for now, but I'll try to change it, thank you!!

 

[Bruce]

I live in a post communism small Slavic town
there's block of flats and small forests everywhere
I go for a walk on fields and places there's no people
sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't :')

I read books! I just haven't felt good and I can't bring myself to read any book for now, but I'll try to change it, thank you!!

I live in a post communist big town with many blocks of flats but no forests and very few very small parks. There is the beach though. It's there where I go for walks, to do sports and to read. : )

I understand what you mean. Reading should be done in a safe and peaceful environment. I'm also not feeling very well and that has an impact on my reading experiences. I mean how can I connect? how can I live and breathe the story with so many distractions around? This is why active noise cancelling helps so much! It's not perfect but it helps until I cross the bridge. Don't force yourself! You might ruin the experience and then you won't enjoy reading anymore. Change when the conditions are decent. I hope it will get better for you!

 

[kopebaldy]

My mind always spiral out of control whenever it isn't busy or distracted.

Thought and emotions I would rather not have, usually I could shove them behind the back of my head but it has gotten so much worse after losing my PC and having nothing left to distract it with.

These days I can fly into a rage randomly without any trigger, I have lost control completely.

Gotta ctb soon man, gotta ctb soon. This bottle may break at any moment.

 

[AS.star]

My mind always spiral out of control whenever it isn't busy or distracted.

Thought and emotions I would rather not have, usually I could shove them behind the back of my head but it has gotten so much worse after losing my PC and having nothing left to distract it with.

These days I can fly into a rage randomly without any trigger, I have lost control completely.

Gotta ctb soon man, gotta ctb soon. This bottle may break at any moment.

I Hope it will get better for you <3

 

[kopebaldy]

I Hope it will get better for you <3

Same for you, friend.