I was at the second meeting with this autistic woman.
sanctioned-suicide.net
I was invited to a board game evening. I am horrible at board games. At first we were only two. Then a female friend came. Everything was fine. It slipped she dated that woman. So my open relationship theory seems to be likely. Or maybe a polyamoric relationship. I sucked at the games but everything was fine. I cracked some jokes because I was so bad the the board games. Later her third autistic friend came. And he was such an asshole. He was extremely intelligent probably as intelligent as the autistic woman I dated. I learned she is doing hard drugs. All of them do hard drugs. Yesterday, she was on LSD with a friend. Maybe another person she is dating. The new autistic man was teasing me all the time. I think I am an intellectual fraud and that's true. I am not as smart as I pretend to be. This hurts me a lot and I struggle with it. But he took that weakspot and hit again and again at me. He laughed at me because I study politics. He insulted more or less all politics students. He considered politics students who call themselves Marxist pretentious. It is ironic because that guy was so fucking pretentious and full of it.
He also claimed that all construction voters voted for AfD. I called that a generalization. There he had me on the logic choke hole with statistics. But honestly at evening I barely can keep my shit together. And he was way smarter as me. I admit that. Here I humiliated myself but I was tired from all the medication. I told him that he is smarter than me and that he makes me uncomfortable with his character.
But this dude was an asshole. He gave me anti-social vibes. I think he considered me to be the asshole. Maybe there is some truth in that. I am not sure. Maybe he perceived how negative I perceived him. And this is why he attacked me. He said he has no friends and that he has someone in charge who does all the important decisions for him. I feel sorry for his children...
I think more and more the liberal, progressive woman was on his side. He increasingly turned her on his side. They know each other also for a longer time. She did not even say goodbye to me when I left the apartment. This hurt. They will portray me as the ignorant fuck. And maybe there is some truth in that. But do I really want to spend time with people like that?
A good friend of mine calls people in open relationships a red flag. Another friend says people who do hard drugs are a big red flag. And they were all so enthusiastic about drugs. It was like an eulogy.
They talked about how great it is to take hard drugs. And when I cited that smoking weed as teenager makes it more likely to get a psychosis he denied that. There was no empiricial evidence for that.
Honestly, doing hard drugs is a red flag for me. And they were all into it. I gave some contra arguments but admitted that ketamin seems interesting and some drugs with the right therapy. But of course they all they take their drugs from dealers. Not in therapy.
I had the feeling he insulted the way I am. But I also considered him to be an asshole. And I think he felt that. The dude was sort of offensive. And not a person I would like to spend my time with. He seemingly has no friends (oh boy, oh wonder why....?). And he has a person in charge who does all the important decisions for him. They seemed to be close friends.
One thing to add: I get the feeling I am exchangeable for her. She admitted she struggles to make the effort to maintain social contacts. And I get the feeling she only contacts me when she is in the mood for it. She is dating countless of people. I would be one among many. I want to a the special one for someone. For her I would be a number that barely means anything. Good enough to contact me when she is in the right mood for it. Nothing more.
Dating a very liberal and progressive woman
I consider the last meeting with this autistic woman from my self-help group a date I think. I want to say something. I am culturally not extremely progressive. I am pro-trans, pro-feminism and anti-capitalism. The same values she shares. But she is very much into intersectionality. ANd reads...
sanctioned-suicide.net
I was invited to a board game evening. I am horrible at board games. At first we were only two. Then a female friend came. Everything was fine. It slipped she dated that woman. So my open relationship theory seems to be likely. Or maybe a polyamoric relationship. I sucked at the games but everything was fine. I cracked some jokes because I was so bad the the board games. Later her third autistic friend came. And he was such an asshole. He was extremely intelligent probably as intelligent as the autistic woman I dated. I learned she is doing hard drugs. All of them do hard drugs. Yesterday, she was on LSD with a friend. Maybe another person she is dating. The new autistic man was teasing me all the time. I think I am an intellectual fraud and that's true. I am not as smart as I pretend to be. This hurts me a lot and I struggle with it. But he took that weakspot and hit again and again at me. He laughed at me because I study politics. He insulted more or less all politics students. He considered politics students who call themselves Marxist pretentious. It is ironic because that guy was so fucking pretentious and full of it.
He also claimed that all construction voters voted for AfD. I called that a generalization. There he had me on the logic choke hole with statistics. But honestly at evening I barely can keep my shit together. And he was way smarter as me. I admit that. Here I humiliated myself but I was tired from all the medication. I told him that he is smarter than me and that he makes me uncomfortable with his character.
But this dude was an asshole. He gave me anti-social vibes. I think he considered me to be the asshole. Maybe there is some truth in that. I am not sure. Maybe he perceived how negative I perceived him. And this is why he attacked me. He said he has no friends and that he has someone in charge who does all the important decisions for him. I feel sorry for his children...
I think more and more the liberal, progressive woman was on his side. He increasingly turned her on his side. They know each other also for a longer time. She did not even say goodbye to me when I left the apartment. This hurt. They will portray me as the ignorant fuck. And maybe there is some truth in that. But do I really want to spend time with people like that?
A good friend of mine calls people in open relationships a red flag. Another friend says people who do hard drugs are a big red flag. And they were all so enthusiastic about drugs. It was like an eulogy.
They talked about how great it is to take hard drugs. And when I cited that smoking weed as teenager makes it more likely to get a psychosis he denied that. There was no empiricial evidence for that.
Honestly, doing hard drugs is a red flag for me. And they were all into it. I gave some contra arguments but admitted that ketamin seems interesting and some drugs with the right therapy. But of course they all they take their drugs from dealers. Not in therapy.
I had the feeling he insulted the way I am. But I also considered him to be an asshole. And I think he felt that. The dude was sort of offensive. And not a person I would like to spend my time with. He seemingly has no friends (oh boy, oh wonder why....?). And he has a person in charge who does all the important decisions for him. They seemed to be close friends.
One thing to add: I get the feeling I am exchangeable for her. She admitted she struggles to make the effort to maintain social contacts. And I get the feeling she only contacts me when she is in the mood for it. She is dating countless of people. I would be one among many. I want to a the special one for someone. For her I would be a number that barely means anything. Good enough to contact me when she is in the right mood for it. Nothing more.
Last edited:
