Venting I guess I'm back here

[Scacie]

What a year its been. I have met two of the most wonderful people on here, one of them essentially became my big sis, and the other became my best friend. She had a crush on me before and after she got over it I fell in love with her, and now I don't know where our friendship lies. I'm not sure why I wanted to post this, just to get it out of me I guess.
I'm at a loss, we made plans to live together and be together, we made pacts to go together and we were there for each other during our darkest moments. Now I don't know where all that lies. She is my driving force to stay on, and now I don't know if that is gone.
I felt I wasted my time here, I felt that the past year after my failed attempt was a waste of time and torturous.
I guess I just need someone to talk to, im sorry

 

[smalleiers]

I'm so sorry that this has happened to you, but the last year has not been in vain. With all the negatives going on you said yourself that you got to meet wonderful people, and that the time you got to spend together made lifes suffering manageable. There will always be reasons to carry on, even in our darkest times. It's SI as much as it's life's random number generator. If you are willing to stick it out and hope for another miracle I see no harm in still being here.

 

[Scacie]

I'm so sorry that this has happened to you, but the last year has not been in vain. With all the negatives going on you said yourself that you got to meet wonderful people, and that the time you got to spend together made lifes suffering manageable. There will always be reasons to carry on, even in our darkest times. It's SI as much as it's life's random number generator. If you are willing to stick it out and hope for another miracle I see no harm in still being here.

thank you, and im sorry for being so incoherent in my post. I guess I was never the sort of person to stick around and see what happens. She gave me a reason to live for the first time in forever and now that's uncertain. I just dont feel that I am strong enough to stick around and see what happens. I regret throwing out my overdose. I had a second chance after my failed attempt to go and I threw it away. Now im stuck here with no way out

 

[smalleiers]

thank you, and im sorry for being so incoherent in my post. I guess I was never the sort of person to stick around and see what happens. She gave me a reason to live for the first time in forever and now that's uncertain. I just dont feel that I am strong enough to stick around and see what happens. I regret throwing out my overdose. I had a second chance after my failed attempt to go and I threw it away. Now im stuck here with no way out

Ha, you're not alone in that. I just got out of an abusive relationship myself and it was keeping me alive as well. I actually don't plan to stick around for that long anymore either, but I admire people who still find the strength to wait for the next spec of luck and happiness

 

[kwittywhiskerzz!..]