I feel so insignificant to the people around me

[Sweetsinking]

I've always felt left behind or like a background character. Memories of being the only kid in class who missed out on treats because I was forgotten and skipped... I wasn't even picked last for teams in gym class, THEY FORGOT TO PICK ME AT ALL. It's small, but it really hurts. Even now I feel forgotten. Everyone who is important to me, has several people who are way more important to them.

I have no one. I'm so bored and lonely. I have a loving boyfriend, but I still feel insignificant to him. He has tons of friends and is constantly doing things with them, while I'm lucky to hang out with one of my two friends once a fortnight. He even knows I envy him and that hurts. I feel like I'm no one's first pick, I'm just of course always available when there's no other options. I literally do nothing all day because I have no one and can't find an interest. I'm looking for solo video games, but I know I'll have to force myself to get into it.

I don't think it's that im unlikable, I'm just not interesting, and I really don't even have it in me to pursue more connections. But I'm just sooooo tired of feeling so small in everyone's life. I think my death would be more of an annoying inconvenience than something to grieve. I know it's a common saying, but I really do feel everyone would be fine or even better off without me.

 

[TransilvanianHunger]

I can definitely relate to hanging out with one or two friends once a fortnight. But you know what? I've realised that the quality of time spent matters a lot more than quantity. I don't have it in me to build (let alone maintain) a vibrant social life, but that's fine. It's not for me, it's not something I find rewarding. It might be that you are looking for a certain type of connection with others, and that type of connection is rarer than your average social connection. Naturally, you will find fewer of those. But, if that is what you enjoy, embrace it. Do not allow yourself to be made miserable by the fact that you do not meet some arbitrary threshold of sociability.

 

[TheTranstarEngineer]

"Background character" is a really good way to put it, one I relate to. Sometimes it feels like most people don't want to even interact you unless they need something, you know? Solo games are a nice hobby, I've never really been competitive so I like to engage with little stories, sometimes it even kind of feels like it makes up for the lack of socializing. Anyway, I really hope you find someone who you feel truly significant to, I'm blessed to have one person who I really feel important to.