I feel so alone.

[wildflowers1996]

I can see how little I mean and it hurts so much.
I wish I was able to get N, so, so much.
I would fly to Peru with someone but my family would be suspicious.
I know no one would get it for me; I'd just end up getting scammed.
I guess I will have to go with SN, but I'm so scared because I've heard about it being painful for some people /people vomiting. And the palpitations would really scare me. And it'd take a while to actually lose consciousness and I would be terrified the whole time.
I don't even know if I'll be able to get hold of SN. I don't want a welfare check because I live with family.
I wish someone could help me, so, so much.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's just so cruel and dreadful to me how methods like Nembutal aren't easily accessible, I also wish for N, it'd be so ideal having the option to just end my own existence in such a peaceful way. But anyway I understand feeling trapped in this existence, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

 

[offtoseethewizard]

I can see how little I mean and it hurts so much.
I wish I was able to get N, so, so much.
I would fly to Peru with someone but my family would be suspicious.
I know no one would get it for me; I'd just end up getting scammed.
I guess I will have to go with SN, but I'm so scared because I've heard about it being painful for some people /people vomiting. And the palpitations would really scare me. And it'd take a while to actually lose consciousness and I would be terrified the whole time.
I don't even know if I'll be able to get hold of SN. I don't want a welfare check because I live with family.
I wish someone could help me, so, so much.

I feel awful rn too. Same feelings, so you're not alone. Feel like I'm a wasted breath. Can't sleep just full of self loathing.

Hugs