I feel profoundly lost.

[bravelytothewinter]

I said in my last post I was feeling better and that was true, however I'm having a bit of a crisis of faith and realise I have no clue where I am or how I'm gonna make it through the next year. I need All i want to do is make it to France and study medicine, however I'm not sure if my family has the money. I know I can take a loan and probably will, but I also realise it's gonna take me months to even land on the plane or get my start my french learning program.

I also have to wait to get my passport and get a bunch of documents translated - Which relies on waiting from both the passport agency and my unreliable mother to actually print the fucking thing since our printer doesn't work and she needs to use the work scanner. I also have no idea what to do in the meantime - I was extremely reactive as a child and basically spent my entire adolescence being a NEET, and thus I have a GED and have no knowledge past the 5th grade, maybe a bit further. I also have no clue if they'll accept my creds because there's no info in this that isn't ChatGPT which I have no clue is accurate or not.

I know I should study bio and maths and stuff ,I know vaguely how I'd do this but I'm just unsure becauseit feels pointless because I'm not going to be getting to the medicine parts of my studies for 2 years max.

I also realise too that I don't strictly enjoy everyday anymore, even though I chose to live my life involves talking and ewhroring myself on discord. I used to play games and stuff but I don't enjoy them after my last suicidal episode I had a little while ago. I'm just unsure and clueless how I'm gonna survive the next months.I don't know.

 

[cantthinkofusername]

sending hugs

 

[fedup1982]

I'm not very creative with other people's problems but maybe I can still say something that helps a bit.

It seems that yes, you do have some difficulties ahead of you, but it also seems that firstly, you seem to have a good idea how to get through them, and secondly, once they're done you'll be in a much more comfortable place.

You seem to have good plans and ambitions, and seems to be heading in a great direction

I think once you've finished your course and found and settled into a job, the dark cloud you're in will probably disperse. And if it doesn't, of its own accord, you'll be in a better position to do something about it.

My suggestion is white knuckle it through your academia and once it's over take as much time out as you need to celebrate and recover. This is a really important time in your life to get things right. If you feel at any time like you just can't keep it up, prepare yourself with all the resources available to you to knock what sounds like depression on its head.

Just don't do what I do, and quit your course in the middle, never to return. It was probably the single worst decision I've ever made

 

[Redacted24]

I don't know if this is helpful but when I'm trying to solve a problem that has lots of different elements, and they look overwhelming when I think about all of them, I try to find a way to take care of them one at a time.

I find one that I need to complete first. And then focus on that... and put the rest of them in order too - like a roadmap from where you are now to your goal.

Sometimes the things overlap, and can be done at the same time.

So, refreshing your maths by self study and getting passport. You can get a maths book, and while you're waiting for the forms you can study.

Just a technique ... I do this a lot at work, and it helps me not feel overwhelmed.
Wishing you the best!

 

[bravelytothewinter]

I don't know if this is helpful but when I'm trying to solve a problem that has lots of different elements, and they look overwhelming when I think about all of them, I try to find a way to take care of them one at a time.

I find one that I need to complete first. And then focus on that... and put the rest of them in order too - like a roadmap from where you are now to your goal.

Sometimes the things overlap, and can be done at the same time.

So, refreshing your maths by self study and getting passport. You can get a maths book, and while you're waiting for the forms you can study.

Just a technique ... I do this a lot at work, and it helps me not feel overwhelmed.
Wishing you the best!

ey! I'm sorry for taking a bit to reply <3 I'm trying to do something of that nature - currently learning some French and got my passport photos taken today! I am making some progress. it was just late and I was super overwhelmed. What's moreso scary to me is that I'm probably gonna need to take a loan and also just the actually applying and figuring out wher

I don't know if this is helpful but when I'm trying to solve a problem that has lots of different elements, and they look overwhelming when I think about all of them, I try to find a way to take care of them one at a time.

I find one that I need to complete first. And then focus on that... and put the rest of them in order too - like a roadmap from where you are now to your goal.

Sometimes the things overlap, and can be done at the same time.

So, refreshing your maths by self study and getting passport. You can get a maths book, and while you're waiting for the forms you can study.

Just a technique ... I do this a lot at work, and it helps me not feel overwhelmed.
Wishing you the best!

trying my best to do that! I was after trying my best to do something of that nature but I keep getting SUPER fixated on the waiting bits. Mostlyt hough I know I can learn french and I have the forms filled out! My main thing is just how long this process takes and I have no idea if I'm even gonna get into my french learning program for a month or so... just gotta try though...