Hello
I've been looking at this site for a while now, I suppose I don't need to explain why I'm here. Sorry for my English, I'm using Google Translate. (I hope the translator does its job well).
Two months ago I made an attempt. I tied a zip tie around my neck and tightened it, but I didn't achieve anything. I was at it for an hour, but in the end, I don't even know how I did it, I grabbed a knife and managed to cut it. Since it was Sunday and I had to work the next day, I had to go to the emergency room for a sick note.
I've been seeing a psychologist, but it's not helping me at all. I just want to die.
A few days ago I decided to try again, but I think I needed some information, and that's how I found this page. I've been looking at methods on the forum, and since I had already tried to strangle myself, I thought that might be a good way for me. I looked at partial suspension, night-night suspension, and things like that.
But I think I'm going to go for full suspension. I live in a house in the countryside with few neighbors and I'm alone, so I don't think I'll have much trouble being discovered. I was thinking of tying the rope to the chimney and lowering myself down the side of the house. It's not very tall, about 2.75 meters or so. I'm 1.70 meters tall and weigh 50 kg. I think a one-meter fall, landing between 20 and 50 cm from the ground, would be enough. If I'm lucky, I might break my neck first—that would be great! And if not, I suppose I'd die of asphyxiation or something, but I think there would be no going back. I was also thinking of having a few drinks and taking some diazepam and tranquilizers. I hope that will be enough.
The truth is, I'd like to talk to someone, but of course everyone's going to tell you not to do it, blah blah blah... that's why I'd like to talk to someone who really understands this. I'm Spanish and I live in Valencia.
Well, I don't know if writing here will do any good, but at least it's the only way I've found to put my thoughts into words.
I hope this isn't a waste of time, and besides, I'm afraid someone might find me writing this.
In fact, I don't have social media or anything like that; I always browse with a VPN, and my online footprint is practically nonexistent.
At least I've gotten this off my chest a little, thanks.
I've been looking at this site for a while now, I suppose I don't need to explain why I'm here. Sorry for my English, I'm using Google Translate. (I hope the translator does its job well).
Two months ago I made an attempt. I tied a zip tie around my neck and tightened it, but I didn't achieve anything. I was at it for an hour, but in the end, I don't even know how I did it, I grabbed a knife and managed to cut it. Since it was Sunday and I had to work the next day, I had to go to the emergency room for a sick note.
I've been seeing a psychologist, but it's not helping me at all. I just want to die.
A few days ago I decided to try again, but I think I needed some information, and that's how I found this page. I've been looking at methods on the forum, and since I had already tried to strangle myself, I thought that might be a good way for me. I looked at partial suspension, night-night suspension, and things like that.
But I think I'm going to go for full suspension. I live in a house in the countryside with few neighbors and I'm alone, so I don't think I'll have much trouble being discovered. I was thinking of tying the rope to the chimney and lowering myself down the side of the house. It's not very tall, about 2.75 meters or so. I'm 1.70 meters tall and weigh 50 kg. I think a one-meter fall, landing between 20 and 50 cm from the ground, would be enough. If I'm lucky, I might break my neck first—that would be great! And if not, I suppose I'd die of asphyxiation or something, but I think there would be no going back. I was also thinking of having a few drinks and taking some diazepam and tranquilizers. I hope that will be enough.
The truth is, I'd like to talk to someone, but of course everyone's going to tell you not to do it, blah blah blah... that's why I'd like to talk to someone who really understands this. I'm Spanish and I live in Valencia.
Well, I don't know if writing here will do any good, but at least it's the only way I've found to put my thoughts into words.
I hope this isn't a waste of time, and besides, I'm afraid someone might find me writing this.
In fact, I don't have social media or anything like that; I always browse with a VPN, and my online footprint is practically nonexistent.
At least I've gotten this off my chest a little, thanks.
