Venting i feel lost

[jellyfish11]

i've always been so sure that i want to ctb. even growing up i just had this notion that i'd do it. recently though, growing closer to the date i had set for myself, i just feel nothing. i don't feel that overwhelming drive to die, but I definitely don't have a will to live. i just feel anger recently, and discomfort. i'm disappointed in myself for everywhere i went wrong in life. i don't know what to do anymore

 

[Secro]

Perhaps you should just try to do the bare minimum? If you can't die, you can at least relax and try to make your life comfortable.
Did you make a lot of mistakes? Everyone makes mistakes, but you shouldn't get stuck in the past, that's one of those mistakes. You should live in the here and now and make the best of it. The past is just a reference point and the future is something you plan.
But I'm not the best example either, because I don't live in the here and now, easier said than done. :(

 

[yotaka]

I'm sorry I don't have anything helpful to add, but I wanted to say you're not alone. I relate to this very much