i feel like this is a sign?

[kittyswift]

hi all. i have been suicidal for most of my life, and the past few years has just been attempt after attempt with escalating closeness to succeeding. i think on my next try i can really do it. because i have had so many failed attempts, i have been researching different methods (mostly hanging and jumping from height). part of this research has been watching videos. it did make my stomach turn at first and i feel horribly guilty for watching these videos but i need to know what im getting into right? but anyway, while watching some of these videos i received an offer from a seller for a substance i have also been looking at to ctb with. i have attempted with this substance twice and failed. i feel like this is a sign though right? third times the charm or whatever? i was really set on this method due to its peacefulness but after two failed attempts i thought i should look at other options. but now im thinking of going back to my original method. i think i have learnt from my mistakes (mainly getting found, timing, the amount to take and how to prepare) and i really believe that i can do it this time. what do you guys think? do you think i should give this method one last chance or start thinking of different methods? The substance in question is BDO. i dont really feel informed enough to answer questions about what bdo is and how it works so if you are unsure please feel free to do some googling or look at some of the threads on this site about it. i feel really optimistic about this but would like some other opinions. thanks !

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Whether you should attempt again or not is sth we can't answer bc it's your personal decision.

The crucial point is making sure not to be found too early if a serious attempt is planned.

 

[rozeske]

I don't know about it, first time I googled it was on your attempt, but if it already failed twice that means the chance of failure is possible on the third ryt? So putting that in mind I'd consider the consequences of failure, damage or otherwise before trying it again. I personally wouldn't, I failed partial once and it was enough for me to look at other options, more reliable options.

 

[Davey40210]

From what I could read here its not really fool proof. So if it was me I would probably combine partial hanging with BDO.

But in reading your other posts it seems like it may be better to wait a little while?

 

[kittyswift]

update!!! i ordered sn today (wont be sharing sources until i receive it safely). i have to pick it up from a store because my mother now insists on opening all my parcels with me since she knows i buy things i "shouldnt". the estimated arrival date says in a week. im really excited. i think theres something really wrong with me because i have this sick kind of fantasy or whatever of drinking it in-front of people as a big fuck you. im not going to do that but yk. the thought is there. i know im fucked up but its fine ill be dead soon :D im also wondering if i should change my username and pfp etc. a lot of people know o use this website and i worry they could link my account to me really easily. i don't know. im just kind of rambling now