I fantasize about dying every day

[Graham.N]

Since August of 2019, I have fantasized about dying almost every day. Truth be told is was always graphic how I would do it, or at least back then. Back then, it was creating an electrolytic solution in the bathtub and then exposing the ends of an extension cord and putting it in the bathtub. Sodium Floride was another option because it was easy to get. SN i bought and had for several years. Massive drug overdoses were a part of the plan too. Now I am stuck on an exit bag. This is the best one.

I told myself I was going to work today, but after going out into the world for only a few hours, I had had enough and went home, and now I am in bed. I plan to be here for the rest of the day. I want to go to sleep and never wake up.

I hate all the lies everyone tells. It's not helping me. It only made things worse, and no one will ever be honest, either.

I'm not sure when I am going to do it, but it seems that this time there is no talking me out of it.

I never truly wanted to live my life like this. But I guess I am the idiot for letting the people I trusted tell me from a young age what is good for me and what is not, and then finding out as an adult that they were withholding key information from me to get an outcome they wanted from me. It served them well, but it has left me unable to live my life in any meaningful capacity.

 

[Lost in a Nightmare]

I used to spend a lot of time thinking about decapitation as a method for myself. I would imagine myself sitting in my car with a noose around my neck and the other end of the rope tied to either a tree or some other kind of sturdy object like a light post for instance, drinking some captain Morgan to overcome my survival instinct, shifting into drive, and just slamming on the gas. Unfortunately this is a very scary method and would likely traumatize whoever found me.

I wish we could just get euthanasia instead so we didn't have to think about these kinds of things. It's just like it says under your profile pic, it's the greatest form of compassion and I agree with that completely. Sucks no one replied to your thread, I've been seeing lots of threads lately that don't have replies and so I'm stopping in to say hello and offer my understanding the best I can.

 

[watergun88]

Now I am stuck on an exit bag. This is the best one.

whats ur step up

 

[lilybug02]

I have been wanting to die for years now. Since this August of this year have i been thinking about ways to die every-single day. I think of very gruesome methods i want to do. One is sitting in my bathtub and cutting my wrists open hitting a vein. Now i am stuck on oding or hanging. I wish assisted death was an option. We should not have to suffer and be forced to live because other people say so.