Venting I failed an attempt, but I feel okay with it.. and i dont understand why

[CannabisMuncher]

Im confused.. I attempted to CTB two days ago, ( which is why ive been inactive during that time ) using my own version of a partial hanging/suffocation method with a hoodie. The strings on my hoodie broke so i woke up, alive. I dont think i have any brain damage, i can walk and do everything just fine. But I feel like maybe this is an opportunity for me. I dont know why i feel this way. I feel like maybe im supposed to be here.. but i dont want to.. So what is my purpose of being here suffering? Maybe the world is telling me something. I dont like it.. I am so confused and i feel like a different person. Im not any happier but yet i feel a burden that im living for a reason.. Is this feeling normal?

 

[Scythe]

I guess you can think of it as a part of you died? Or you're just feeling trapped because of the failed attempt so you feel that you have to be here. You can try to figure out what feels different if possible. Maybe just see if there's some small changes you can make to improve your life since you feel like this is an oppertunity. Or just try to do things you always wanted to do.

 

[CannabisMuncher]

I guess you can think of it as a part of you died? Or you're just feeling trapped because of the failed attempt so you feel that you have to be here. You can try to figure out what feels different if possible. Maybe just see if there's some small changes you can make to improve your life since you feel like this is an oppertunity. Or just try to do things you always wanted to do.

thank you for the advice.. I will try to figure out where these feelings are coming from