this is my first post here so i guess it's like an introduction too lmao
my parents screwed me up in so many ways. the only chance i have at having any sort of future or life is so slim and if i don't ever make it out of here i can't imagine living very long. i've been suicidal for the majority of my life and have BPD as long as some other illnesses. for over a year mostly throughout 2024 i went through a good phase of not being suicidal and was almost 2 years clean of self harm before i had a really bad relapse and i just have not been the same since then.
i'm at the point in my life where i would do literally anything to live a long and happy and NORMAL life but there's genuinely no way i can and i don't want to live the way i do. for a little bit i was kind of enjoying existing but didn't think i would for very long and i don't. i have issues with my relationships and break down over my friends just having other friends who aren't me and i hate that and everything else about myself.
i also love my friends too much and they would be so devastated if i was gone so i think them as well as my cats are the only things that might keep me going. i dunno. i used to think this website was some sort of evil terrible place but the more i've lurked the nicer it's seemed and people here seem like the only people who can understand what i've been going through. i hope ur all doing well
my parents screwed me up in so many ways. the only chance i have at having any sort of future or life is so slim and if i don't ever make it out of here i can't imagine living very long. i've been suicidal for the majority of my life and have BPD as long as some other illnesses. for over a year mostly throughout 2024 i went through a good phase of not being suicidal and was almost 2 years clean of self harm before i had a really bad relapse and i just have not been the same since then.
i'm at the point in my life where i would do literally anything to live a long and happy and NORMAL life but there's genuinely no way i can and i don't want to live the way i do. for a little bit i was kind of enjoying existing but didn't think i would for very long and i don't. i have issues with my relationships and break down over my friends just having other friends who aren't me and i hate that and everything else about myself.
i also love my friends too much and they would be so devastated if i was gone so i think them as well as my cats are the only things that might keep me going. i dunno. i used to think this website was some sort of evil terrible place but the more i've lurked the nicer it's seemed and people here seem like the only people who can understand what i've been going through. i hope ur all doing well
