I don’t want to CTB but I do..

[summarmaya]

My life on the outside is great..I'm semi popular, I have a good friends and a lot of friends, I go to all fun events, I'm in university and doing well for myself overall but no matter what I do I can't feel satisfied. I'm definitely not looking for satisfaction to be honest I just want a reason to live. I feel as if all these things happened by chance. I know that's awful to say, all people want in life is these things. I don't know, it doesn't change much trust me. I'm trying to live I'm trying to want to live, it's hard. Drugs help ig.
Writing this at a uni party rn is crazy but I can't stop feeling like how I have since I was 15..ughhh

 

[northstar]

same. i have a family who supports me, a good friend and my partner, im doing something for my career, i guess i dont go out much and dont have many fulfilling hobbies, but usually things are "fine"(or should be fine). still cant help feeling miserable and how much better itd be if i wasnt alive. none of it means anything if all you want is to not be here.

i think your reasons are valid and i get feeling like theres no point to any of it.

 

[summarmaya]

same. i have a family who supports me, a good friend and my partner, im doing something for my career, i guess i dont go out much and dont have many fulfilling hobbies, but usually things are "fine"(or should be fine). still cant help feeling miserable and how much better itd be if i wasnt alive. none of it means anything if all you want is to not be here.

i think your reasons are valid and i get feeling like theres no point to any of it.

Right!! It's like there's a void that will never be filled. Even the people in my life who struggle with mental health have solutions, I just feel as if there isn't one yk..