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Wilt-On-High

Wilt-On-High

I got no distance left to run...
Sep 17, 2024
140
Well here I am.
my SN from BO has arrived today.
I have SN in my possession now.
After ranting and raving and then me putting months of work into Clues and stuff I found it.

But...I'm nervous and I'm feeling empty now.
Nervous because I don't know how It's going to feel when I'm taking it and dying. And also if I decide to CTB in the forest me becoming decomposed so badly and my parents probably going to have to identify my body.
Also my friends and family.
How are they going to be affected?
but wait....they don't care....nobody cares.
And I'm feeling empty because after feeling so much pain I've gone blank.
Part of me cares and part of me doesn't


I just wish I didn't have to die alone
I'm probably going to CTB on my birthday.

Thanks for reading.
I'll try to answer questions if anyone wants to ask me anything (I won't reply instantly but I'll try to)

Also I will not be giving any Sources.
 
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opheliaoveragain

opheliaoveragain

Global Mod | Anorexic Junkie
Jun 2, 2024
2,196
We're here for you. However much you want to post or talk before you go, just know people are here to listen.
 
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Reactions: Wilt-On-High, Overwhelmed52 and glassbottom
SVEN

SVEN

I Wish I'd Been a Jester Too.
Apr 3, 2023
2,802
Just allow yourself to settle down and think about how you feel. There's no pressure on you to decide anything impulsively, in fact now that you have the means it may even allow you more time to fully analyse what your next move is.
Best wishes whatever you decide.
 
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Reactions: imprisonedbylife, Wilt-On-High, been__ready and 2 others
Edu Ardanuy

Edu Ardanuy

Member
Dec 3, 2024
50
I know the feeling. Got my SN and now, well, maybe its just a matter of days until I try and end my life. Not sure if I'll chicken out, though
 
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Reactions: Wilt-On-High
HeartThatFeeds

HeartThatFeeds

Fixed in one determined flash.
Aug 19, 2023
112
I understand the feeling, it's hard to deal with knowing you have something in your hands that could kill you at any minute, it's both daunting and relieving, I thought I'd feel something when I bought mine but I just felr nothing like you
 
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B

been__ready

Student
Nov 25, 2024
127
Just allow yourself to settle down and think about how you feel. There's no pressure on you to decide anything impulsively, in fact now that you have the means it may even allow you more time to fully analyse what your next move is.
Best wishes whatever you decide.

Great answer 🤍🙏🏻🕊

I second this..
 
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Reactions: Wilt-On-High
D

death_bed221

Student
Sep 23, 2024
191
My sn is soon to arrive. I already feel scared, happy, peaceful at the same time
 
R

rachybee

Student
Dec 8, 2024
187
I get that. Mine should arrive within the week and I'm anxious about it but also really happy too
 
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Reactions: jc80

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