Venting I don’t feel welcome in this forum

[randal_bond]

NW London, England.

I'm from Bristol, UK. Lots of London folk relocate here. House prices went crazy. How is it going in London? Any sunshine? +11C here. Miserable.
You know, I am so alone that I befriended a lovely tree that I see out of the window. I call it my tree of safety. What us folk won't do to feel better. But of course, I can't tell this to anyone. Don't want people to roll eyes at me.

OP, feel free to join the chat.

 

[Kit1]

I'm from Bristol, UK. Lots of London folk relocate here. House prices went crazy. How is it going in London? Any sunshine? +11C here. Miserable.
You know, I am so alone that I befriended a lovely tree that I see out of the window. I call it my tree of safety. What us folk won't do to feel better. But of course, I can't tell this to anyone. Don't want people to roll eyes at me.

Wow. You are in Bristol - supposed to be a good place to move to. Love the tree and good friend to have. Funnily enough, I often go up to Lake District to be with.the trees, mountains and lakes. You have a beautiful view amd glad that you have a friend to look out to.

Surprisingly it hasn't rained today and even the sun was out for a while this morning. It has been drizzling ornraininv most days - I love watching the rain from inside though do not enjoy getting wet..,

It is so true - what you said about trying to feel better and we can only try..,

It is lovely to e-meet you.

 

[randal_bond]

Wow. You are in Bristol - supposed to be a good place to move to. Love the tree and good friend to have. Funnily enough, I often go up to Lake District to be with.the trees, mountains and lakes. You have a beautiful view amd glad that you have a friend to look out to.

Surprisingly it hasn't rained today and even the sun was out for a while this morning. It has been drizzling ornraininv most days - I love watching the rain from inside though do not enjoy getting wet..,

It is so true - what you said about trying to feel better and we can only try..,

It is lovely to e-meet you.

Lovely to meet you, too. It's Bristol and Bath railway path. I used to cycle along it. Now I can look at it and see people cycling or walking their dogs and children. Quite a nice place and brings good memories.
Ok, have to go now. Hope you're having a good day.

 

[ShadowSelf]

Hugs, Nightride. I'm sorry for your poor experience. It's terrible to feel rejected and alone.

 

[todeswunsch]

I'm sorry that your'e feeling this way, OP. I guess people are the same everywhere. They will hang out with you not if they find you useful, but if they enjoy your company. There's a fair share of socially awkward people and downright outcasts by the society on this forum, who feel the same way as you do. Join the club ))) I'm autistic and soooo socially awkward. I'm not sure you'd care to hang out with me, LOL. But if you do, I'm happy to talk.

Another fellow autistic Love to see others of my kind here.
Social anxiety limits how much I interact here. Some times I just got energy to lurk

 

[WonderingSoul]

Seeing this post makes me feel somewhat sad, because I remember the first time joining this forum I felt very welcomed. I'm so sorry you haven't felt welcomed on here. If you need someone to talk to, my DM is open. Hope you'll feel less alone on here.

 

[DEATH IS FREEDOM]

You are welcome to write conversations to me.

 

[randal_bond]

Another fellow autistic Love to see others of my kind here.
Social anxiety limits how much I interact here. Some times I just got energy to lurk

I'm a member of a relevant sub on Reddit, and I can see so much pain and suffering among autistic folk. I guarantee you, there're many of us here.

 

[Ε. Η. R.]

I'm not sure what it is about RU folk having these cat profile pictures. Must be some kind of trend ))) Your square-faced kitty reminds me of a recently deceased RU member Notrealmatthew. I wonder if you knew him.

I'm not ru-folk. I'm German. I just know russian language.

I didn't know anyone with that nickname. I looked through the search. Apparently, he gone on the same dates that I joined.

This is a cat Fedya.

Cat pictures and videos

https://twitter.com/iluvcats2002 Thank me later 😺😸😹😻😽

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[randal_bond]

I'm not ru-folk. I'm German. I just know russian language.

I didn't know anyone with that nickname. I looked through the search. Apparently, he gone on the same dates that I joined.

This is a cat Fedya.

Cat pictures and videos

https://twitter.com/iluvcats2002 Thank me later 😺😸😹😻😽

sanctioned-suicide.net

Thank you. I like Fedya ))) Is there snow in Germany now?

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Another fellow autistic Love to see others of my kind here.
Social anxiety limits how much I interact here. Some times I just got energy to lurk

Lol half the forum is autistic (also one).

 

[Ε. Η. R.]

Thank you. I like Fedya ))) Is there snow in Germany now?

Unfortunately, i do not know. I planned to leave russia back in 2014. At first, my "father" forbade me to leave russia. he was a rich. And courts and police in russia are bought for money.
Then, in 2018, my ex cruelly betrayed me and took away everything that mattered to me. From that time on I existed for revenge.
Unfortunately, russia will become my grave.

But of course, I can't tell this to anyone. Don't want people to roll eyes at me.

If people roll their eyes at something like this, then shouldn't communicate with them at all.

 

[Strawberry Moon]

I feel like this too.

 

[stxrdustprincex]

i'm sorry this has been your experience. i only joined a few days ago but so far everyone has seemed helpful. we're all here to prepare ourselves, so it really makes no sense to treat anyone like that. if you ever want to talk, reach out anytime, i'm here :) <3

 

[Finalnight]

I've read all of your replies. All I can say is that I'm really grateful for all the love and kind words you've written to me, you people are great, and do not deserve having gone through whatever that has brought here. What I said about not feeling welcome is because I never really feel welcome, no matter where, it's just that I've been feeling so awful lately that I needed some place to vent since I have no where else to do it. It's true that I have been mistreated by a few people at pms, but I know they're just a very small percentage of the forum which doesn't represent it in any way, whenever I open any posts all I see is supportive and compassive people helping one another, and that's how this community really is, and how I really see it regardless of how I could feel.

Once again, thanks to everyone for your replies, this means too much to me, you guys are epic and deserve the best, always…

 

[exitplease]

Please don't feel too disheartened! Give it time. 2 of the earlier posts I made when I first joined SS asking about sources were met with really aggressive, nasty comments and harassing messages from well-known members and even some moderators who were accusing me of being a cop. It sucked. But I persevered for the sake of feeling a sense of community, and i've met some lovely people so far. Join the discord group!

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I'm sorry you don't feel welcome.
My messages are open so feel free to chat if you want someone to talk to.

 

[アホペンギン]

I also feel the same, I have been insulted here quite a bit and it makes me feel as if nowhere is safe from terrible people.. I'm sorry.

 

[hellispink]

I dont want to sound mean but we all fucked up here and hurting. Its not something personal whatsoever. Sometimes we get noticed, sometimes we dont, its normal and fair. Everyone is dealing with their own hells and we must respect that. At the worst nights only one self will be there. Its just life.

 

[ringo99]

Sorry you feel that way op. In my experience everyone here has been very kind and supportive. I hope your experience improves.

V sry feel this forim human same outer, still see ok ppl ,v undrstd ppl hurt etc no feel wlcm no undrstd, but not worry can talk any want can say any ctb etc this no say same outer prolif awfl species no allow talk, hug

Hey there. Haven't seen you around for a while :)

 

[randal_bond]

Unfortunately, i do not know. I planned to leave russia back in 2014. At first, my "father" forbade me to leave russia. he was a rich. And courts and police in russia are bought for money.
Then, in 2018, my ex cruelly betrayed me and took away everything that mattered to me. From that time on I existed for revenge.
Unfortunately, russia will become my grave.


If people roll their eyes at something like this, then shouldn't communicate with them at all.

I don't communicate with anybody now. I'm isolating.
I'm really confused now. You're German. But you live in Russia. How can your father tell you what to do if you're an adult? I'm really confused. Where in Russia do you live, if you don't mind me asking?

 

[Ε. Η. R.]

I'm really confused now. You're German. But you live in Russia.

Right. I am a German by blood, nationality, who born in russia. A ridiculous joke of fate.
For russians, I was another from early childhood. Since I was 6 years old. I never had good communication with them. Blood is of great importance.

How can your father tell you what to do if you're an adult?

We had a big quarreled when he found out about my transition. We went to court several times. The courts and police in russia are extremely corrupt. Through the court and the police, he banned me from leaving the country. That's what I meant.
Of course, the whole story cannot be explained in a couple of sentences.

Where in Russia do you live, if you don't mind me asking?

In the southwestern part.

 

[F@#$]

I don't know if it's because of my braindead questions or comments, or my uselessness to others in here. When I joined this forum I thought I could feel as part of this community, make some friends maybe, but it's no different to how my life has always been, always rejected and alone. I'm grateful to the few people here that has helped me, even when all I ask, or things that I talk about are stupid shit. I believed this was a place were I could fit in as long as I'm alive, but my mind is so broken that I can't do or be enough for anyone, nobody really needs or cares about me.

I suppose people only cares and likes you while you're useful to them, or else, they will simply ignore you and cast you away.

That last paragraph is absolutely true.

 

[exitplease]

I also feel the same, I have been insulted here quite a bit and it makes me feel as if nowhere is safe from terrible people.. I'm sorry.

You were one of the members that attacked me on one of my first posts. It made me feel really bad. I'm surprised you've experienced the same thing - hopefully you can learn from that and not attack and accuse new members in future.

I forgive you. Even though you haven't asked for it and likely won't. Please be nicer to new members next time.

 

[mia_qwerty]

I think I know what you mean. All but 2 of my friends fell away when I got ill as I'm no use to them anymore. I hope now you have spoken your truth here you will feel more welcome. Here to chat if you need

 

[plan c]

I'm from Bristol, UK. Lots of London folk relocate here. House prices went crazy. How is it going in London? Any sunshine? +11C here. Miserable.
You know, I am so alone that I befriended a lovely tree that I see out of the window. I call it my tree of safety. What us folk won't do to feel better. But of course, I can't tell this to anyone. Don't want people to roll eyes at me.

OP, feel free to join the chat.

Wow. Befriending a tree seems a great idea. I love trees across from my campus' backyard when I was little. And I spend whole afternoons sitting under them when often ignored by my family and bullied at school. I cried my eyes out when they cleared out the land for new basketball courts and chopped all the giant trees. Maybe that's too much for a distant memory in me but yeah I love trees. I now live somewhere near mountainous part of HK and I think it's not a bad idea to find something in nature to love.

Another fellow autistic Love to see others of my kind here.
Social anxiety limits how much I interact here. Some times I just got energy to lurk

It's not a test or a written assignment to share your thoughts with ppl here. I, for one, am not judging your feelings or being the grammar police.
btw social anxiety applies only to being with living human but I'm almost dead. XD

 

[Hollowman]

It's good that you still care about that kind of thing. I'm so far gone I don't.

 

[Ε. Η. R.]

I also feel the same, I have been insulted here quite a bit and it makes me feel as if nowhere is safe from terrible people.. I'm sorry.

I hope they got banned.
I only had a conflict on this forum with two russians (1 russian, 1 ukranian), in a russian thread. But, I'm not at all surprised. They are just russkis.
But I did not have a single conflict with any other forum member.

 

[アホペンギン]

You were one of the members that attacked me on one of my first posts. It made me feel really bad. I'm surprised you've experienced the same thing - hopefully you can learn from that and not attack and accuse new members in future.

I forgive you. Even though you haven't asked for it and likely won't. Please be nicer to new members next time.

I don't intend to start an argument but it wasn't attacking.

I just don't trust newer members with sources after the attention this place has been getting, it may be authorities asking for sources rather than people who genuinely need the sources and there's no way of proving whether or not it is an authoirty asking, so we have to be careful. I hoped you understood but maybe not.. I didn't want you to feel offended either.. but it's the truth. I want to preserve the sources and make sure the wrong people don't get the sources.

I am as nice as I can but with sources, I have to tell the truth about how I feel and it may not sound nice all the time and I hope to not offend anyone, but I have good intentions. Believe it or not, what I do benefits a lot of people here when it comes to sources.

If you want, I can elaborate more why I said the things I did and I apologize for offending you all that time ago. I'm glad I have been forgiven despite the fact that I hadn't asked for forgiveness. I respect you, for that.

I hope they got banned.

They didn't

 

[randal_bond]

Right. I am a German by blood, nationality, who born in russia. A ridiculous joke of fate.
For russians, I was another from early childhood. Since I was 6 years old. I never had good communication with them. Blood is of great importance.


We had a big quarreled when he found out about my transition. We went to court several times. The courts and police in russia are extremely corrupt. Through the court and the police, he banned me from leaving the country. That's what I meant.
Of course, the whole story cannot be explained in a couple of sentences.


In the southwestern part.

So, so sorry to hear all that. Your father sounds quite autoritarian. Now some Russians are trying to cross the border to another country to avoid fighting. If you you're able-bodies, I'll try to do that and then ask for political asylum in the next foreign embassy. Or you could go to German embassy in Russia and consult them. Or call them and get a consultation. All EU is hot on anti-discrimination. They may be interested.
Good luck with it all, whatever you decide. But what an insensitive parent he is. To ruin his child's life like that.