Venting I dont feel suicidal enough to be here

[strawberry_lemons]

I want to cbt but not now. i have an age planned and few minor things to do before it all comes to a close but i feel almost gulity for being here. most people here are in the stages close to ctb soon but im just not. sorry for my little rant haha its been nagging at me since i joined

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

Even though I haven't been here long, so I don't presume to speak for the people who have, I think it's good to have people here even if they're not. It's good to have people to talk to. It's good to know voices are being heard. Most of these conversations can't be had anywhere else which means most people don't actually know what people who are chronically suicidal think or feel like. They just immediately go to their list of bulletpoints of things they're supposed to say instead of having a real conversation. Plus there's the recovery forum. Those people aren't trying to ctb. Besides, if you're going to be around for a long time and you were planning to later in life (just as an example) there's still a lot to learn here. And maybe by then euthanasia will be legal lol.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

It´s all right I have been here a long time too and don´t think I will ctb anytime soon I´m just chilling here.

I think it´s a great site for people like me and maybe you too? Like if people are in the late stages and wanna ctb they can learn about methods and the rest of us can just talk about how shitty life is, many people hate that negative view and become toxic positive to the point they don´t want anything to do with you but I actually in a weird way "enjoy" it probably because it feels comfortable to cope with depression in a way I can´t really explain it. I just like that people for once! just agree with me when I say life is shit because I suffer from all of these things and people acknowledge it instead of saying the typical positive shit from people who never really has experienced any real suffering and don´t understand chronical illnesses and what it´s like to suffer from it. So to me this place truly is a sanctuary from all the toxic positive people and some in society might call this an echo chamber but so is their society and every other forum but just for positivity no matter how toxic it might be like I couldn´t say a fraction of the stuff I say on here on Reddit or other forums without everyone arguing how wrong I am and I have to keep going despite they don´t know what suffering even is or how many years I have suffered. Yes I will most likely stay here for a while but people shouldn´t try to force me to or talk me out of ctb if I choose to do that someday it´s my body my choice and the "positive" people don´t understand that part.

So in short imo even if you aren´t suicidal but "just" depressed this site is still for you because the depressed and suicidal people on this site knows what it´s like to feel that way even if they don´t understand all your suffering.

 

[bluebus]

We are all in different places here. Some of us are on our way out, some just need a place to talk and feel understood, and others are in between. No one is here to judge anyone else. Don't ever feel guilty about being your presence on this forum. You deserve a place to let your true thoughts flow. You are just as worthy as anyone else here. Please don't ever think otherwise. Lots of love, bb

 

[TheGoodGuy]

They just immediately go to their list of bulletpoints of things they're supposed to say instead of having a real conversation.

Exactly! They never truly hear you or try to understand you because pro-life people will go into the conversation with the mindset of "you have to keep living no matter what and that´s the end of it" from the beginning of the conversation just like when you talk to a psychiatrist, psychologist or loved ones if you mention the word 'suicide' they immediately have one goal and that is to convince you to stay alive they don´t spend 1 second thinking that you might be right and also rational in your statement.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I'm here and don't even really desire to kill myself (aside from the occasional impulsive ideation).

I think you're very welcome here.

 

[tora]

there's no such thing as not being suicidal enough to be here! this website is here for a lot of reasons. providing information on how to CTB is just one reason, but it's also here so suicidal people can support each other. continuing to live long, happy lives is the happy ending I wish all SaSu members could experience, so the longer you feel you can stick it out, the better :)
plus it's good to find this website a while before you decide to do anything so you have plenty of time to think over your options and come to terms with your decisions.

 

[jonghyun]

Ur not alone. Me too

 

[Seered Doom]

Depends on what your definition of "not suicidal enough" is. I honestly think anyone rejected by society by and large belong here.

 

[Linda]

I want to cbt but not now. i have an age planned and few minor things to do before it all comes to a close but i feel almost gulity for being here. most people here are in the stages close to ctb soon but im just not. sorry for my little rant haha its been nagging at me since i joined

You don't need to feel guilty. The site is here for everyone who feels they can make use of it, in whatever way. I made clear in my introductory post, three years ago, that if my husband dies before me I will ctb. Not before, That still applies. The reason I logon here now and again is that, as an older person, I may see some things in a different way than many of the site's users, and some people might find my perspective useful

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I want to cbt but not now. i have an age planned and few minor things to do before it all comes to a close but i feel almost gulity for being here. most people here are in the stages close to ctb soon but im just not. sorry for my little rant haha its been nagging at me since i joined

You don't have to be suicidal or close to CTB to be here you can also be in recovery and still be with the community. It's not all about dying here, it's pro-choice! And there is absolutely no reason to feel guilty to be here! I wish you all the best.

 

[strawberry_lemons]

i wanted to add an edit! im better with it now this was my worry when i first joined haha, but uts been awhile its just popping up cause of the loss of data so dw <333

 

[suicidestyle]

I relate a bit too much..

welp I'm not gonna ctb anytime soon, im just a self Harmer and I experience a lot of suicidal thoughts, this website just feels like a safe space ..

 

[rosenwasser]

You're not alone! I'm new here and I'm not planning on ctb in the near future. I would in fact even love to recover but not sure if that's in the cards for me. I'm mostly just looking for a place to be understood and find support from people who know how it feels like to just not be able to go on.