Venting I don't feel like a person.

[breatheout]

I feel like i'm not human and like some kind of gross mistake lately. I only shower once a week and whenever i go to school i basically wear the same outfit all week because i cant be bothered to make any other outfits. i go outside sometimes for good ol retail therapy or the once a month hanging out with someone, but other than that i'm inside on my computer for 10-15 hours every day. i don't talk with my parents unless i see them when i go and get dinner before retreating to the basement to eat. i'm showing early signs of hoarding disorder, but i don't care enough to deal with it. its also worth mentioning i have various undiagnosed disorders which my mom doesn't want to get me diagnosed and treated with for a mix of reasons such as it's too expensive or she thinks i can deal with them or just cure them on my own. i usually wake up at 9 but continue to go back to sleep until around 1pm because i feel very glued to my bed. I really don't feel like a real person. is anyone else like this or am i really just alone in this?

 

[Chemical Animal]

I totally understand your situation bc mine is similar.

During the college semester, I had to plan shortcuts to do my tasks and tests due to not having energy to study or even take care of myself. Now that the semester ended (pls don't ask me how I passed all the subjects that I enrolled in bc I have no idea), I just spend my days either on my computer or rotting in bed, I have to gather all the energy I have like a DBZ character just to shower at least once a day and get something to eat, even brushing my teeth and shaving my "beard" have become huge challenges.
I go outside the boarding house I'm currently living in just to buy something to eat or drink, or just for a little walk. I got tired of chasing treatments for my dysthymia and social anxiety/phobia that are comorbidities of my autism, and recently found out that I also have ADHD-PI from two different psychiatrists (which explains why I find everything other than videogames and watching streams tedious).

I feel like a sewer rat in a human body

 

[breatheout]

I totally understand your situation bc mine is similar.

During the college semester, I had to plan shortcuts to do my tasks and tests due to not having energy to study or even take care of myself. Now that the semester ended (pls don't ask me how I passed all the subjects that I enrolled in bc I have no idea), I just spend my days either on my computer or rotting in bed, I have to gather all the energy I have like a DBZ character just to shower at least once a day and get something to eat, even brushing my teeth and shaving my "beard" have become huge challenges.
I go outside the boarding house I'm currently living in just to buy something to eat or drink, or just for a little walk. I got tired of chasing treatments for my dysthymia and social anxiety/phobia that are comorbidities of my autism, and recently found out that I also have ADHD-PI from two different psychiatrists (which explains why I find everything other than videogames and watching streams tedious).

I feel like a sewer rat in a human body

sewer rats assemble i guess aha. feels nice knowing im not the only one living like this. congrats on passing tho, proud of you man ik it must have bee a lot. :)

 

[Hollowman]

You're not alone, I haven't felt like a person for decades. More like a ghost.