I can’t wait. Trying tonight. Bridge jump while drunk.

[ihateearth]

My alcoholic father broke my phone charger then denied it. He's always lying about things he does while drunk. I called him on it unlike others and things blew up. Like hey, I'm in pain and don't have as much money as before so you breaking my charger isn't good.

Then he gave me a charger that doesn't work. Stupid. I just left. My life sucks so much. I hate it. I wish I got SN to peacefully go but I can't take another day here. I tried to jump before but I can't do it sober. I need to escape this reality and prison.

Its like I'm being punished. Every day is misery. I hate being born. I hope I'm never here again. God or whoever please never bring me back. This is horrible. My body hurts. My mind hurts. I hate existing. If I could slit my throat I would. At a gas station now. I'm going to ask them for a razor blade then gas up and drive to a bridge I scouted.

Nothing matters. I'm abnormal there's nothing here for me and there never was. I was outside the wall of normal human existence and emotions or how to make it here ok. I hate my existence and consciousness. Why did anything ever bring me here. I wish I'd been aborted.

Now I have to get drunk enough to jump or CTB somehow. I can't live here. I wasn't meant to ever be happy and full. I have to rush and jump without thinking. Thinking ruins it.

Also have to jump backwards. Don't face it forward. I hope to get super drunk enough to do it. Driving there then binge drinking. I don't have a gun or anything, but I need to go. I can't take living. If this doesn't work I'll do anything to escape. I need to get out of here

 

[LunarLight]

I hope you find peace whatever you decide to do.
Do you have a spot for jumping?

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you find freedom from your suffering, I also wish I never existed more than anything and I understand that it's so torturous feeling trapped in an existence you hate.

 

[Dliena]

I'm very sorry it has gone out this way for you OP and I can only wish you eternal peace without more despair again.

 

[Ironborn]

Safe journey traveller, see you in the next world.

 

[rowboat]

I hope you find the peace you're looking for :)

 

[ihateearth]

Getting Taco Bell before driving there and one last cig. Of course I like steak and gourmet food but I don't have patience for that now.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I'm so sorry it got to this extreme point...if you do it, I hope you don't suffer...

 

[ihateearth]

The bridge is very high. Last time I was there weeks ago a friend talked me off of it. I also went during the day. I'm gonna take many prescription strength anxiety and sleep meds before jumping too. Night may be better for this and not being sober I'm hoping.

 

[returntothevoid]

Sorry it had to end this way. What's the name of the bridge?

 

[billie]

I hope you find the peace you are looking for

 

[ForgottenAgain]

The bridge is very high. Last time I was there weeks ago a friend talked me off of it. I also went during the day. I'm gonna take many prescription strength anxiety and sleep meds before jumping too. Night may be better for this and not being sober I'm hoping.

I hope you'll be okay, really takes a lot of courage and a lot of pain... If anything happens and you don't feel ready, please don't do it. Don't go with doubts.

I'll be thinking of you

 

[LunarLight]

I hope you won't suffer. Godspeed.

 

[Orangee]

I'm sorry you are in so much pain. I hope you find peace in the end.

 

[ihateearth]

Ate some food. Took some meds. Parked close. Waiting for full nighttime for darkness and less people. Joggers still out and people with dogs a little. I got booze and a backpack with the stuff. Plan is to be near the bridge to take things in then jump once I feel it hitting.

I also hope at night I won't see things as much. This sucks but I can't wait anymore and my life sucks. I've been very unhappy for too long. I need to leave.


Thanks for the well wishes.

 

[scarletrat]

Ate some food. Took some meds. Parked close. Waiting for full nighttime for darkness and less people. Joggers still out and people with dogs a little. I got booze and a backpack with the stuff. Plan is to be near the bridge to take things in then jump once I feel it hitting.

I also hope at night I won't see things as much. This sucks but I can't wait anymore and my life sucks. I've been very unhappy for too long. I need to leave.


Thanks for the well wishes.

good luck man <3

 

[ihateearth]

The worse part is I won't even tell my family bye. I don't feel like leaving a note. I just don't care. Not texting anyone. I just don't care. Wanna break and not look back here. They know I care for them. I hope they'll be ok in time. As I look back, no one really cared. It doesn't matter if I'm here. My existence was meaningless.

 

[spiritsale]

Rest easy op, I hope you were able to find peace