Venting I can't understand adulthood. I want out

[Sockeye Salmon]

I can't understand adulthood at all. I think teenage life is as much of life as I can comprehend.

When I'm a kid, attending school is the only responsibility that I have. I just had to follow a specific path in life. Just go to school, study, play, sleep. Sure school was difficult but at least I didn't need to worry about where I'm heading in life or friends or money.

I didn't need to worry about having to make money so that I can eat because I'm already provided, or how to drive because parents drive me places.

I didn't need to worry much about making friends because I was already put in an environment where similar kids are around me.

But now I'm an adult and suddenly all of that has been taken away from me. Suddenly I need to get a job and make money. Suddenly I need to find my own place to live. Suddenly I need to learn this and that. Suddenly I need to forge my own path in life but I just can't.

Now I need to get a job and provide for myself. But because of my mental disabilities, It's been impossible for me to get a job. I also can't drive and don't trust myself to drive without causing something bad on the road. I don't understand taxes. I don't understand stocks. I don't understand anything. Every time I try to learn and take steps I just get lost. I can't do this.

Now that I have no environment with similar people I don't have anywhere to make friends. I don't have friends. I'm afraid to make friends because I'm such a mess, a jobless, friendless, moneyless person and I'm embarrassed about myself to make friends with other adults.

I just don't get it. I can't get it.

Childhood and teenage life I can handle. But adulthood is far too much for me. I wish I could revert back to my teenage days and live those days again.
But I know that won't happen. Adulthood isn't for me. Not for my broken self.

Now I just want out.

 

[username8888]

Maybe you can start cutting your expenses like instead of eating out you can live on lentils, potatoes. Maybe you have too much expectations on you.

I don't know you but If I were in a similar situation, I would cut all of my money spending addictions like: Playing computer games, eating only lentils and water, selling or throwing all my junk objects and living on bare essential stuff.

Idk. That's just me.

Now I just want out.

If you want out, maybe you can save money for your painless death. By saying those words, I am also talking to myself. Thanks for your post btw.