I can't escape the feeling of pointlessness

[merlinghost]

I have been on-and-off on doing it in the next several months. It is quite pathetic as though my life is wholly "fine" all things considered. My father gifted me a socket set when I first moved out to my new place recently. I couldn't escape the feeling on how much I would disappoint him other than any practical reason of self preservation. I just wake up and find that I will only tread ever tread along instead of benefiting my fellow man. I had long given up on enjoying life for the beauty that other people seem to experience it as. I started working my first office job over the past couple of months and my only encroaching thought is that I will die here, might as well end it now.

 

[timf]

The fact that you can recognize the love of your father and show compassion for him suggests a capacity for sensitivity and depth and many do not have. Being away from family can amplify a feeling of emptiness Some people when thy move out start to fill their lives with a flurry of social activity. If you are more selective or cautions, the transition of moving out can seem more intense.

If you have time on your hands and it is weighing heavy, you might experiment with different activities such as a book club, amateur radio, or some artistic endeavor like music, art, or even sculpting.

You might a class in something that piques your interest such as astronomy or cooking. Sometimes a feeling of pointlessness arises when we are starting our own life and are no longer living the life others have pointed us towards. In a way, we have to discover our own "point".

 

[merlinghost]

The fact that you can recognize the love of your father and show compassion for him suggests a capacity for sensitivity and depth and many do not have. Being away from family can amplify a feeling of emptiness Some people when thy move out start to fill their lives with a flurry of social activity. If you are more selective or cautions, the transition of moving out can seem more intense.

If you have time on your hands and it is weighing heavy, you might experiment with different activities such as a book club, amateur radio, or some artistic endeavor like music, art, or even sculpting.

You might a class in something that piques your interest such as astronomy or cooking. Sometimes a feeling of pointlessness arises when we are starting our own life and are no longer living the life others have pointed us towards. In a way, we have to discover our own "point".

I have my hobbies yes, the problem I encounter is they by far do not offset the drudgery I eel from my day to day life. I always felt like I didn't belong with other people, In that capacity I could do something for the world. That did not pan out either. I won't dox myself but I work in IT and the work I do and my company does is quite far from that. Apart from that I feel as though I simply lack the competence to actually make others peoples lives meaningfully better.