Venting I cannot have friends anymore

[ireallylikemangoes]

Every thought I have is about suicide and harming myself and I struggle to keep a regular conversation with a person without bringing it up, it's almost like suicide is a hobby and an interest for me and i cant talk about anything else.

I do not want to burden my friends with my own struggles but I can't control myself it's the only thing I can talk about, is there a way I can stop this?

 

[bunn1bel]

It's for this reason I've stopped making new friends entirely and distanced myself from old ones. Even ones I can talk to about this sort of thing, I just cannot because of how real and serious my thoughts have become. I cant make new connections or maintain old ones because I feel close to my day…

 

[SilentSadness]

You shouldn't have to feel unable to talk about suicidality, but people will never try to understand and are usually cruel and obnoxious. I hope your loneliness comes to an end.

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

I feel this, usually I just get it out here or some other way. I like to listen to suicidal music and a few other art forms commonly involving it.

I have other people I've met that I can talk freely about suicide too. I also do a bit of research for fun although it might make your situation worse.

What I'm saying is to focus your fascination with it somewhere else and more accepting (like here for example).

 

[Pluto]

A lot of communities are based around melancholy, though none as overtly as this one. Lots of music is based around expressing despair, including numerous entire genres. It's paradoxical to see people in those communities have so much fun. Religious groups are all based around addressing some glaring flaw with the human condition, as are many political movements.

For whatever reason, we get away with being very blunt and direct on this site. This is healthy from an authenticity standpoint, but risks digging a dark hole. Hence why most people avoid it. Perhaps with a bit of guidance around social etiquette, it might be possible to connect with communities who understand deep dissatisfaction with life and benefit from the bittersweet paradox of being happy to find like-minded others.

Everyone is quite authentic when alone, but whenever multiple people come together, compromise begins. But perhaps a little compromise is worth the effort to avoid being so alone.

 

[FuneralCry]

I personally just think that it's for the best to not talk to those people as the problem lies in the fact that so many in this world are against the right to die and don't accept suicide as being a valid option, they would prefer to avoid the subject altogether. Sadly it's just the way that things are.

 

[Mirrory Me]

It's better to have these conversations with like-minded people. I guess you'll be able to connect with people on some other topics after this phase is over.

 

[endless_pain]

Every thought I have is about suicide and harming myself and I struggle to keep a regular conversation with a person without bringing it up, it's almost like suicide is a hobby and an interest for me and i cant talk about anything else.

I do not want to burden my friends with my own struggles but I can't control myself it's the only thing I can talk about, is there a way I can stop this?

I think you should be able to talk about it with your friends without too much restrain if they are true friends otherwise it's like being alone

 

[RedDoor]

I can relate, sadly most people won't like to speak about these things. I've found that its best to not talk to them about these topics

Its kinda the reason why im here, people here understand what others don't