Friends

[Ashmiau]

Whenever I try to make friends in real life, they always lose interest in speaking to me after a day or so of conversation, even if they were the one to initiate it. I find it extremely hard to relate to other people, even if I am interested in being their friend. My mannerisms are somehow making them want to speak with me less and less every conversation. I really wish this wasn't the case, and I wish I could determine what was wrong with me so that I could find people who legitimately enjoy talking to me.

This makes social interaction highly exhausting for me, and I generally spend my day in my room because it makes me feel safe. I wish I had a friend who struggled with these same issues so that I could discuss my feelings with them.

 

[x9x99988]

Yup. I only have one friend basically. i am constantly forced to change how i act based around people i am with and it's tiring to say the least. you have no idea how they are gonna react to something you wanna say so you don't end up saying it, that's how it is for me.

 

[IrisGr3y_]

I've had this same ache, the exact same.

I came to think, me being this person that was often distressing about something, having few engaging things to say, or a non-engaging way of saying them if that makes sense, just made people I talked to steer away since my presence probably just reminded them of things they'd rather not hear about again, or my presence alone was generally draining given that background.

By being largely inexperienced and not very knowledgeable, I guess one's just bound to run into people losing interest. Gotta have at least one trait the other person admires or can be interested in.

Doesn't help having a somewhat specific kind of struggle a lot of people won't relate to.



Nowadays I just do the typical masking, act like everything's alright and make jokes if I can come up with them. It's tiring, but can't help it since it's clear most people will lose the interest if talking to me didn't feel good to them. Seems involuntary and subconscious, so I don't blame them.