Story I asked for help

[lastwordsofmine]

I was planning to CTB but, i took the last chance of hope and called up my caregiver who then brought me to the mental hospitals emergency unit, now i have been here since the 27th of janurary, ive been moved from the emergency unit and onto a calmer one. I still want to die, i still want to catch the bus, but im getting help, im trying to keep holding on to the hope that life can get better, that life will get better.
It's about 5am when im writing this, i havent been able to sleep for the last 3 hours, and i know that will make my condition worse but i dont care right now.
I'm glad my begs and pleads was finally heard, and im kind of glad that i hesitated to jump. I'm glad that i didnt traumatize all those people at the station. I'm kind of glad to be here? I've gotten some friendships, even though im the youngest one in here its still really nice, the older ladies treat me as their grandchild, the staff check up on me consistently. They dont blame me for self harming, they dont blame me here. And I'm glad to have finally found a place i can be whilst i get the help i need.

I dont know if the feeling of wanting to kill myself ever will go away, but maybe they can atleast lessen. I hope so.
For those who's seen my previous posts, my cat is safe at home and is being babysat by one of my friends, he's doing great and im glad i didnt leave him forever.

 

[RainyDays]

Maybe it's the hope that life can get better that's a reason to keep living. :)
Be gentle with yourself. Have compassion for yourself. Love yourself.

 

[doomedbynarrative]

When you next see your cat give him a big kiss and a chin scritch for me!

 

[lainpilled]

I hope that everything will get better for you too. I haven't seen your previous posts, but from the sounds of it, you've been put through a lot. It'll be one step at a time trying to recover, but if you decide that it's worth it, then I think you'll find that it's a great feeling. Have a good night? Morning? Either way, gave the kitty lots of pets when you can!