Venting I am subhuman

[delta2]

I'm broke, out of shape, ugly, incompetent, uninteresting, stupid, culture-less, and there isn't a single positive thing I can say about myself.
Yet I long for touch and connection as if I'm not walking women repellent. I am subhuman and don't fit anywhere I go. Every time I get horny I immediately want to carve my guts out or jump under a moving train because I know my only option is to fuck myself. I hate myself. I'm disgusting and no wonder nobody wants to come close. I feel laughter surrounding me with every step I take. I'm an incel whether I'm toxic or not. I knew that if I lost my ex I'd have nobody and nothing. What kind of man bases his whole life around a partner? An absolute neuter that's who. I'm just another man complaining about how touch starved he is don't pay me any mind. Nothing new here. Just laugh. Laugh laugh laugh laugh. My loneliness takes up a huge part of my note and I'm just ready to live stream some sepukku. Especially if I don't make some serious improvements this year. I'm done

 

[hhtroc]

same, hmu if you want diet tips tho, i used to be anorexic so that im kind of an expert.

 

[delta2]

same, hmu if you want diet tips tho, i used to be anorexic so that im kind of an expert.

Diet for me isn't typically an issue when I'm not feeling sick from eating. I honestly need to exercise

 

[EvisceratedJester]

same, hmu if you want diet tips tho, i used to be anorexic so that im kind of an expert.

You've got to be fucking me kidding. This person is clearly in a bad place mentally and your response is to offer them unhealthy ways to lose weight? Really?

 

[hhtroc]

Its aight fam, ill be gone soon. You win the moral highground. I was trying to make a joke to cheer them up, them and me are in the same boat kinda and i thought theyd appreciate a joke more than a "you are beautiful in your own way" because i can tell you that shit doesnt work. If I had the power to help them, I would have the power to help me. I try to be as helpful as can be for stuff I can offer perspective on, for this one I just wanted to say i relate and make a dark joke. I am sorry if it came of as rude but I think you are the only one who took offense.
I am sorry you are in pain but so am I.

Diet for me isn't typically an issue when I'm not feeling sick from eating. I honestly need to exercise

Where do you live? I can send you weights if you wanna, my bdd doesnt let me use them anymore lol. If you have access to a swimming pool or like a place, that is usually fun. If you feel like you are too lazy to do stuff, you can try to get checked for sleep apnea, it is worth a shot. I hope you didnt take my comment before the wrong way. I just didnt wanna bullshit you like people bullshit me.

Also, I don't know if you've tried but you can try therapy. I can just tell you that their approach to this did not help me at all. But it might help you if you have the means, it is for sure not gonna make it worse and there is a good chance you are pretty normal and just have very low self esteem.

 

[BoredNTired.2]

I posted something very similar to this recently but it was removed. For the last several years I have been unable to see myself as anything but subhuman for my failure to exist as people think I should. I do not know if everyone feels as let down by their existance as I or if I am uniquely sick, but either explanation would justify my death to me. I do not know if an afterlife exists, but I hope that It doesn't so I no longer have to exist as myself in any way shape or form.

 

[nobeertonight]

I'm broke, out of shape, ugly, incompetent, uninteresting, stupid, culture-less, and there isn't a single positive thing I can say about myself.
Yet I long for touch and connection as if I'm not walking women repellent. I am subhuman and don't fit anywhere I go. Every time I get horny I immediately want to carve my guts out or jump under a moving train because I know my only option is to fuck myself. I hate myself. I'm disgusting and no wonder nobody wants to come close. I feel laughter surrounding me with every step I take. I'm an incel whether I'm toxic or not. I knew that if I lost my ex I'd have nobody and nothing. What kind of man bases his whole life around a partner? An absolute neuter that's who. I'm just another man complaining about how touch starved he is don't pay me any mind. Nothing new here. Just laugh. Laugh laugh laugh laugh. My loneliness takes up a huge part of my note and I'm just ready to live stream some sepukku. Especially if I don't make some serious improvements this year. I'm done

None of the things you've described should define you, you are worthy of dignity and a dignified life, unfortunately society doesn't think that way.
"subhuman" is a term coined by people who wanted to erase the intrinsic value of being a human being from others, because that's it, you're not valuable because you should be interesting, rich or whatever, it's something that is inherent to the fact that you're alive.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Its aight fam, ill be gone soon. You win the moral highground. I was trying to make a joke to cheer them up, them and me are in the same boat kinda and i thought theyd appreciate a joke more than a "you are beautiful in your own way" because i can tell you that shit doesnt work. If I had the power to help them, I would have the power to help me. I try to be as helpful as can be for stuff I can offer perspective on, for this one I just wanted to say i relate and make a dark joke. I am sorry if it came of as rude but I think you are the only one who took offense.
I am sorry you are in pain but so am I.

Dude, fuck off with this insincere bullshit.

 

[hhtroc]

Dude, fuck off with this insincere bullshit.

crazy how on this whole website you are the only one i have seen be outright hostile to people.

Dude, fuck off with this insincere bullshit.

You are right by the way, I was trying to be nice as I can tell you are hurting too. I don't rly care about anything except I want to die as soon as possible. I honestly do not give a fuck about how you feel and I don't owe you sincerity. If you really want me to respond about how I feel about moral bullies like you, i can do that and we can be mean to each other on a support forum. Maybe that's what you want, but let's take it to dms then because this is not helping anyone.

 

[delta2]

Its aight fam, ill be gone soon. You win the moral highground. I was trying to make a joke to cheer them up, them and me are in the same boat kinda and i thought theyd appreciate a joke more than a "you are beautiful in your own way" because i can tell you that shit doesnt work. If I had the power to help them, I would have the power to help me. I try to be as helpful as can be for stuff I can offer perspective on, for this one I just wanted to say i relate and make a dark joke. I am sorry if it came of as rude but I think you are the only one who took offense.
I am sorry you are in pain but so am I.

Where do you live? I can send you weights if you wanna, my bdd doesnt let me use them anymore lol. If you have access to a swimming pool or like a place, that is usually fun. If you feel like you are too lazy to do stuff, you can try to get checked for sleep apnea, it is worth a shot. I hope you didnt take my comment before the wrong way. I just didnt wanna bullshit you like people bullshit me.

Also, I don't know if you've tried but you can try therapy. I can just tell you that their approach to this did not help me at all. But it might help you if you have the means, it is for sure not gonna make it worse and there is a good chance you are pretty normal and just have very low self esteem.

Im in NY. I'm in therapy I just don't know how to make it work. You're all good, I took no offense