I am going tonight. I wish somebody would keep me company.

[Hail-Sisyphus]

My method is hanging. One of my least preferred methods tbh, but I don't have any options. I have no financial means, no way to get prescription drugs other than hydroxyzine. I do have potassium chloride, but that seems more unpleasant than hanging.

Right now, I'm preparing. I'm cleaning my apartment, because I'm so afraid of people finding me in a mess and judging me. A lovely inheritance from my mother. Later on, I'll pick out some neat clothes and perhaps take a shower and put on some makeup. My last will is already taken care of, but I figure I'll write some kind of note for the few people I still have in my life. I'll put my cat out in the hallway with some water a food and I hope that someone is going find him and take him in relatively quickly.

Honestly, I'm kinda scared. I'm just deprived of all hope and my last attempt at getting help ended up traumatizing me even further, which recently made me develop agoraphobia. So now, I can't even leave my home and I feel more like a prisoner of my own mind than I have ever done. I've been looking for help for twelve years, and everything that did was making me feel worse. Now I'm out of options and I can't live like this. I wish there were other options, but there aren't any. My best friend just said "If I were in your situation, I wouldn't know what to do. I'd probably ask you because I'd think that you could solve it."

And that's the problem. I've turned myself inside and out, spent several years of my life and several thousands that I don't actually have only to suffer more. There is no help to get and I can't keep playing this game anymore.

I know I'm practically unknown here, so this is probably too much to ask for but I'd deeply appreciate it if anyone would be willing to keep me company.

 

[Hail-Sisyphus]

I would say, wait for 1 more year and let go off the thought for now..

Sorry, I know you probably mean well but I can't really deal with these types of replies right now. I've done my waiting, for 22 years and it only got worse. I've made up my mind.

 

[CW36]

My method is hanging. One of my least preferred methods tbh, but I don't have any options. I have no financial means, no way to get prescription drugs other than hydroxyzine. I do have potassium chloride, but that seems more unpleasant than hanging.

Right now, I'm preparing. I'm cleaning my apartment, because I'm so afraid of people finding me in a mess and judging me. A lovely inheritance from my mother. Later on, I'll pick out some neat clothes and perhaps take a shower and put on some makeup. My last will is already taken care of, but I figure I'll write some kind of note for the few people I still have in my life. I'll put my cat out in the hallway with some water a food and I hope that someone is going find him and take him in relatively quickly.

Honestly, I'm kinda scared. I'm just deprived of all hope and my last attempt at getting help ended up traumatizing me even further, which recently made me develop agoraphobia. So now, I can't even leave my home and I feel more like a prisoner of my own mind than I have ever done. I've been looking for help for twelve years, and everything that did was making me feel worse. Now I'm out of options and I can't live like this. I wish there were other options, but there aren't any. My best friend just said "If I were in your situation, I wouldn't know what to do. I'd probably ask you because I'd think that you could solve it."

And that's the problem. I've turned myself inside and out, spent several years of my life and several thousands that I don't actually have only to suffer more. There is no help to get and I can't keep playing this game anymore.

I know I'm practically unknown here, so this is probably too much to ask for but I'd deeply appreciate it if anyone would be willing to keep me company.

Hi Hail, I'm sorry for your situation. I trust you've done research and got a strong ligature, anchor point? I don't want you to take unnecessary risks or suffer any longer than necessary. Are you attempting full or partial?

 

[CursedReality88]

Hey. Life is difficult. I don't understand why whoever made this place had to make it so hard. Despite our issues, one thing we all have in common is that we will all die one day. Happy or not, on purpose or by accident. That gives me some comfort knowing I'm not any special. Wherever I am going, wherever you are going, billions will as well. If you have made up your mind, I hope you can enjoy your last moments and go with peace.

 

[sadlyexisting]

Hello, I am so sorry to hear about your situation, life truly is very cruel. I hope you have done your research and know what you do. But if you need someone to talk to or comfort you, I am always here, you can message me anytime. I would be more than happy to keep you company. Good luck with your attempt!

 

[Hail-Sisyphus]

Hi Hail, I'm sorry for your situation. I trust you've done research and got a strong ligature, anchor point? I don't want you to take unnecessary risks or suffer any longer than necessary. Are you attempting full or partial?

Thank you. I'm using a latchet strap anchored to a hook in my kitchen ceiling, that was the only thing avaliable. I'm going to do some weight testing later just to make sure it'll hold me. I'm aiming for full, though I've attempted with partial before and I liked it.

Hello, I am so sorry to hear about your situation, life truly is very cruel. I hope you have done your research and know what you do. But if you need someone to talk to or comfort you, I am always here, you can message me anytime. I would be more than happy to keep you company. Good luck with your attempt!

Thank you friend, that truly means a lot to me.

 

[CW36]

Thank you. I'm using a latchet strap anchored to a hook in my kitchen ceiling, that was the only thing avaliable. I'm going to do some weight testing later just to make sure it'll hold me. I'm aiming for full, though I've attempted with partial before and I liked it.

Thank you friend, that truly means a lot to me.

Okay, well I wish you every success. If you want to ask me about anything, then just send me a message. I've read and tested a lot regarding this method.

 

[020x]

If you practiced partial before to fight off your SI then I wouldn't recommend going for full suspension. Anyways, hope you'll find peace from the pain that's bothering you.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

And that's the problem. I've turned myself inside and out, spent several years of my life and several thousands that I don't actually have only to suffer more. There is no help to get and I can't keep playing this game anymore.

Hello @Hail-Sisyphus,
Thanks so much for spending time with us.
You found life is a Sisyphean task,
So "please wait" is way too much to ask.

Finally you'll be freed -
@Hail-Sisyphus, Godspeed

I know I'm practically unknown here, so this is probably too much to ask for but I'd deeply appreciate it if anyone would be willing to keep me company.

Please feel free to PM me

LoiteringClouds

 

[Dead Already]

Sounds like you have made up your mind, nothing but respect here.
Like CW36 said, make sure you have thought out and tested your method, please don't suffer needlessly by mistake.
I definitely understand not being able to ask for help anymore, it just leads to more pain, suffering, degradation and trauma.
I hope you find peace.
I'm new on this site also, nobody is going to judge you, that much I have learned.
I will keep you company as long as I can if you wish.
I'm remote in Guam right now and only have 40% power on this tablet.
A phone is charging in my vehicle, I'm terrible with this computer generated stuff but will give you my number if you can figure out how to message me through the SaSu site.
Talking, hearing another voice may help soothe frayed nerves.
The only caveat if you accept is that you have to let me off the hook at the last moment, I can talk to you, I can listen, I can't handle hearing the snap and rattle....
Sorry, I have lost to many in recent history.
Got to make it through the next 3 1/2 months to finally find my own peace.

 

[aenid]

My least preferred method also due to risk. You do not need to wait a year, feels like an eternity! Maybe a day, do you have soneone to care for your cat without suspicion? Are you truly out of options? I have been trying for 12+ years and finally found a dr who has heard of my condition (appt soon) so hanging on til then. Idk where you are but happy to help explore options in your area xx

 

[Cepi]

Have you tried doing everything you wanted to? I'm currently living to complete my dream of fixing the mental health system and allowing for assisted suicide. If you wanna stick around for a bit longer. Muster the strength and live life to your fullest. Don't be upset with how you go about things in your current state you're trying your best. Try to make whatever you wanna do possible for yourself with the time you have remaining. Maybe along the way, you might find a reason to keep going. Whatever you choose to do I hope you find peace in the end. I'll pray for you.

 

[inviável]

My method is hanging. One of my least preferred methods tbh, but I don't have any options. I have no financial means, no way to get prescription drugs other than hydroxyzine. I do have potassium chloride, but that seems more unpleasant than hanging.

Right now, I'm preparing. I'm cleaning my apartment, because I'm so afraid of people finding me in a mess and judging me. A lovely inheritance from my mother. Later on, I'll pick out some neat clothes and perhaps take a shower and put on some makeup. My last will is already taken care of, but I figure I'll write some kind of note for the few people I still have in my life. I'll put my cat out in the hallway with some water a food and I hope that someone is going find him and take him in relatively quickly.

Honestly, I'm kinda scared. I'm just deprived of all hope and my last attempt at getting help ended up traumatizing me even further, which recently made me develop agoraphobia. So now, I can't even leave my home and I feel more like a prisoner of my own mind than I have ever done. I've been looking for help for twelve years, and everything that did was making me feel worse. Now I'm out of options and I can't live like this. I wish there were other options, but there aren't any. My best friend just said "If I were in your situation, I wouldn't know what to do. I'd probably ask you because I'd think that you could solve it."

And that's the problem. I've turned myself inside and out, spent several years of my life and several thousands that I don't actually have only to suffer more. There is no help to get and I can't keep playing this game anymore.

I know I'm practically unknown here, so this is probably too much to ask for but I'd deeply appreciate it if anyone would be willing to keep me company.

I definitely understand how you feel, as I was reading this I can really relate to your motives.
It's really hard to feel this way, and unfortunately there's no easy way to go through it.

if you want to have a talk right now I'm here for you. <3

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds really tiring what you've been through, it's cruel how people have to suffer so much. But anyway I wish you the best with your plans, I hope you find the freedom you wish for.

 

[SVEN]

Best wishes for a peaceful journey. You fought well, endured much and tried hard. Rest well tired traveller. Will be thinking of you.

 

[Stuckinpast28]

I mean if you want we could connect on discord I'll be there with you until you fully ctb

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I wish you all the best! I hope you find peace! Safe travels and good luck!

 

[Takamagahara]

I hope you find the peace you're looking for.

 

[KAZ-2Y5]

You did 22 years, great. You fought well, why stop now, push for one more year..

Who the hell are you, sadist of a replier "push for one more year" sadistic as fuck

 

[Dead Already]

Who the hell are you, sadist of a replier "push for one more year" sadistic as fuck

Totally agree, spent 58 years looking, hoping, praying in vain for something better, just semi comfortable tolerable....it's not out there, the whole planet just spins more out of control as the masses suffer in new and more efficient ways every day.
22 is young, but it's long enough to see the nonsensical truth.
Sadistic as fuck to suggest someone suffer for another year.
Hammer down.

My method is hanging. One of my least preferred methods tbh, but I don't have any options. I have no financial means, no way to get prescription drugs other than hydroxyzine. I do have potassium chloride, but that seems more unpleasant than hanging.

Right now, I'm preparing. I'm cleaning my apartment, because I'm so afraid of people finding me in a mess and judging me. A lovely inheritance from my mother. Later on, I'll pick out some neat clothes and perhaps take a shower and put on some makeup. My last will is already taken care of, but I figure I'll write some kind of note for the few people I still have in my life. I'll put my cat out in the hallway with some water a food and I hope that someone is going find him and take him in relatively quickly.

Honestly, I'm kinda scared. I'm just deprived of all hope and my last attempt at getting help ended up traumatizing me even further, which recently made me develop agoraphobia. So now, I can't even leave my home and I feel more like a prisoner of my own mind than I have ever done. I've been looking for help for twelve years, and everything that did was making me feel worse. Now I'm out of options and I can't live like this. I wish there were other options, but there aren't any. My best friend just said "If I were in your situation, I wouldn't know what to do. I'd probably ask you because I'd think that you could solve it."

And that's the problem. I've turned myself inside and out, spent several years of my life and several thousands that I don't actually have only to suffer more. There is no help to get and I can't keep playing this game anymore.

I know I'm practically unknown here, so this is probably too much to ask for but I'd deeply appreciate it if anyone would be willing to keep me company.

Thinking of you as another day begins, hope all suffering has ceased and you are at peace.
If you are still with us, I salute the courage and strength to struggle through one more day.
Whatever your condition, you are not alone.

 

[KAZ-2Y5]

Good luck to you hope you find the peace you're looking for no matter the choices you make

 

[FindingHome]

My method is hanging. One of my least preferred methods tbh, but I don't have any options. I have no financial means, no way to get prescription drugs other than hydroxyzine. I do have potassium chloride, but that seems more unpleasant than hanging.

Right now, I'm preparing. I'm cleaning my apartment, because I'm so afraid of people finding me in a mess and judging me. A lovely inheritance from my mother. Later on, I'll pick out some neat clothes and perhaps take a shower and put on some makeup. My last will is already taken care of, but I figure I'll write some kind of note for the few people I still have in my life. I'll put my cat out in the hallway with some water a food and I hope that someone is going find him and take him in relatively quickly.

Honestly, I'm kinda scared. I'm just deprived of all hope and my last attempt at getting help ended up traumatizing me even further, which recently made me develop agoraphobia. So now, I can't even leave my home and I feel more like a prisoner of my own mind than I have ever done. I've been looking for help for twelve years, and everything that did was making me feel worse. Now I'm out of options and I can't live like this. I wish there were other options, but there aren't any. My best friend just said "If I were in your situation, I wouldn't know what to do. I'd probably ask you because I'd think that you could solve it."

And that's the problem. I've turned myself inside and out, spent several years of my life and several thousands that I don't actually have only to suffer more. There is no help to get and I can't keep playing this game anymore.

I know I'm practically unknown here, so this is probably too much to ask for but I'd deeply appreciate it if anyone would be willing to keep me company.

If you need to talk to someone feel free to reach out to me.

 

[Meaningless_guy]

Good luck whatever you do, I hope you rest in peace.
i don't like hanging method, but if thats all you have then go ahead.
I don't know if someone told you this allready, but I want you to know that you were really strong all those years that you have been fighting for your life, I know how it feels like to be in this way, I think maybe I will have the same future than you.

 

[feels_like_rain]

If you're still here, i could keep you company. I'm not good with knowing what to say sometimes but you can pm me if you'd like

 

[Tomoe-sama]

you're probably gone by now, and if you are i can only hope your passing was the least painful one possible for you. i will remember you, whoever you may be, with the untold story of your life and a faceless, nameless identity that i will forever know as another "someone" that existed and ceased to exist. if you are alive, which i hope you are, i'd ask if you don't mind talking to me. while i wouldn't dare suggest i have a solution for you — since you've looked for one yourself and couldn't find it — i would like to hear your story, at least, and see if we could be "friends" in any sense of the word for even the most brief moments.

if that is not to your liking, goodbye, person. wherever you are going, i hope you will find this peace you seek, be it in life or death, or somewhere in-between.

 

[turkishsweet]

Hi, are you still here? I can keep you company.

 

[exiled]

Hi there. Are you still around? I would love to connect. Thinking of you.

 

[Gonnerr]

Goodbye, i hope you escape peacefully.