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Water-Lily

Water-Lily

Enlightened
Dec 26, 2020
1,203
I think I get what my therapist was saying to me

I know in chat I had a melt down yesterday over what I wanted to do over the summer

On one hand, staying on campus is keeping me filled with student debt

On the other, going back home would put me right back into the abuse dynamics. I'll go back to that scared traumatized girl too afraid to do anything. I can go into another black hole and that's horrible for my mental health

My therapist, in telling me not to go with my relatives, was reminding me of how I felt at the time

The abuse, the control, family members being beaten, etc

I don't need to be surrounded by that

My mental health matters more

This makes me think back to the friends k currently have

They're good people, but they aren't my people

By that I mean, they don't get abuse dynamics

Even though they have their dysfunctional families, I'm sure none have experienced abused to the full extent I have before

People like myself, are on an island

We might have friends, but those with good/semi dysfunctional families never get the struggle

These are people I cannot depend on, turn to in moments of pain, and so forth

Because we come from too different planets

So, will I be a slave to student loans for a long time

If it's what saves me from ending my life by abusive family, so be it
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Christopher Reeve, Ash and Hotsackage
Ash

Ash

What dreams may come?
Oct 4, 2021
1,736
Debt isn't great but at least it's being accumulated in order to help you build a future of your own making. Sounds like your family will only destroy you. Keep your independence and live your life for yourself and hold your head up damn high as you got out of there. You did it. Be proud of that. X
 
Water-Lily

Water-Lily

Enlightened
Dec 26, 2020
1,203
Debt isn't great but at least it's being accumulated in order to help you build a future of your own making. Sounds like your family will only destroy you. Keep your independence and live your life for yourself and hold your head up damn high as you got out of there. You did it. Be proud of that. X
Yeah. Sadly I don't have the privilege of being like my fortunate friends with good families. They don't get me, and never will

I think I need to distance myself from them honestly
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Ash

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