Help hungover again

[loslassen]

it's kinda a vent but I could also use some advice/nice words.

two days ago I got super drunk with some friends, and honestly it wasn't a bad drink, or emotionally weighing or nothing like that, it was fun.

but I blacked out eventually, I don't remember most of the night, we drank at my place so I went to sleep after, and my sister took care of me, but I did throw up twice, and the next day I had the most terrible hangover ever, I was nauseous all day and woke up to the smell of cigarettes trapped in the house because of my dad, which worsened the nausea but I didn't say anything.

I was sleeping most of yesterday and today I got my period, so I'm just feeling 2x as crappy, physically in a lot of pain as well, I went ice skating before the drinking and injured my knees (I have a couple bruises) and I got a friction burn on my foot so I'm missing some skin, anywho I feel horrible all around and that's got me feeling a little suicidal, I know it's not super bad or the worst thing ever but does anyone ever just feel that way with all those minor inconveniences?

Drinking makes me feel good but fuck do I not feel terrible now.

 

[Sleeper System]

it's kinda a vent but I could also use some advice/nice words.

two days ago I got super drunk with some friends, and honestly it wasn't a bad drink, or emotionally weighing or nothing like that, it was fun.

but I blacked out eventually, I don't remember most of the night, we drank at my place so I went to sleep after, and my sister took care of me, but I did throw up twice, and the next day I had the most terrible hangover ever, I was nauseous all day and woke up to the smell of cigarettes trapped in the house because of my dad, which worsened the nausea but I didn't say anything.

I was sleeping most of yesterday and today I got my period, so I'm just feeling 2x as crappy, physically in a lot of pain as well, I went ice skating before the drinking and injured my knees (I have a couple bruises) and I got a friction burn on my foot so I'm missing some skin, anywho I feel horrible all around and that's got me feeling a little suicidal, I know it's not super bad or the worst thing ever but does anyone ever just feel that way with all those minor inconveniences?

Drinking makes me feel good but fuck do I not feel terrible now.

Any inconvenience will trigger instant suicidal ideation.
Literally, someone could drop something and I will think of how much I hate when I drop things and want to immediatley just die. Sometimes it's not even rational. Any excuse to want to stop the hassle of life.

 

[MyLuckyStars]

getting nasty hangovers blows. i got a horrible one last summer, and my family put on the big labowski on tv which kept making me nauseous when he'd pour himself those white russians. eventually i just gave up on doing anything for the day and played ace attorney 3 in the fetal position on the couch. i got a black eye from blacking out on a staircase and falling down on my face too, which was lame. puked 11 times according to my family, and they had to clean it all. havent been able to touch alcohol much since, i get nauseous even smelling it

 

[loslassen]

getting nasty hangovers blows. i got a horrible one last summer, and my family put on the big labowski on tv which kept making me nauseous when he'd pour himself those white russians. eventually i just gave up on doing anything for the day and played ace attorney 3 in the fetal position on the couch. i got a black eye from blacking out on a staircase and falling down on my face too, which was lame. puked 11 times according to my family, and they had to clean it all. havent been able to touch alcohol much since, i get nauseous even smelling it

I have a similar feeling rn, thinking about drinking alcohol has me more nauseous than tempted, I always drink with friends so it's not sad for me, but physically I feel revolting about it. I'm sorry about your black eye, and yeah, I feel guilty about throwing up,, my sister had to clean my puke from the floor twice while I was blacked out, it's terrible. Maybe it's a good thing our bodies keep us away from alcohol for a while,

 

[MyLuckyStars]

I have a similar feeling rn, thinking about drinking alcohol has me more nauseous than tempted, I always drink with friends so it's not sad for me, but physically I feel revolting about it. I'm sorry about your black eye, and yeah, I feel guilty about throwing up,, my sister had to clean my puke from the floor twice while I was blacked out, it's terrible. Maybe it's a good thing our bodies keep us away from alcohol for a while,

i tried drinking a white claw surge like 2 weeks ago and it just tasted like pool water to me. all i can choke down are angry orchards. maybe its for the best but i think im done with it for the foreseeable future

 

[loslassen]

i tried drinking a white claw surge like 2 weeks ago and it just tasted like pool water to me. all i can choke down are angry orchards. maybe its for the best but i think im done with it for the foreseeable future

yeah for your own good I recommend you don't drink for a long time

 

[Ash’Girl]

I have BPD and for my whole life I've had suicidal ideation.

Quote from Girl, Interrupted (with the bit in bold most pertinent to this post). Literally my brain wiring.

"Suicide is a form of murder— premeditated murder. It isn't something you do the first time you think of doing it. It takes some getting used to. And you need the means, the opportunity, the motive. A successful suicide demands good organization and a cool head, both of which are usually incompatible with the suicidal state of mind.

It's important to cultivate detachment. One way to do this is to practice imagining yourself dead, or in the process of dying. If there's a window, you must imagine your body falling out the window. If there's a knife, you must imagine the knife piercing your skin. If there's a train coming, you must imagine your torso flattened under its wheels. These exercises are necessary to achieving the proper distance.

The debate was wearing me out. Once you've posed that question, it won't go away. I think many people kill themselves simply to stop the debate about whether they will or they won't. Anything I thought or did was immediately drawn into the debate. Made a stupid remark—why not kill myself? Missed the bus—better put an end to it all. Even the good got in there. I liked that movie—maybe I shouldn't kill myself.

In reality, it was only part of myself I wanted to kill: the part that wanted to kill herself, that dragged me into the suicide debate and made every window, kitchen implement, and subway station a rehearsal for tragedy."

 

[loslassen]

I have BPD and for my whole life I've had suicidal ideation.

Quote from Girl, Interrupted (with the bit in bold most pertinent to this post). Literally my brain wiring.

"Suicide is a form of murder— premeditated murder. It isn't something you do the first time you think of doing it. It takes some getting used to. And you need the means, the opportunity, the motive. A successful suicide demands good organization and a cool head, both of which are usually incompatible with the suicidal state of mind.

It's important to cultivate detachment. One way to do this is to practice imagining yourself dead, or in the process of dying. If there's a window, you must imagine your body falling out the window. If there's a knife, you must imagine the knife piercing your skin. If there's a train coming, you must imagine your torso flattened under its wheels. These exercises are necessary to achieving the proper distance.

The debate was wearing me out. Once you've posed that question, it won't go away. I think many people kill themselves simply to stop the debate about whether they will or they won't. Anything I thought or did was immediately drawn into the debate. Made a stupid remark—why not kill myself? Missed the bus—better put an end to it all. Even the good got in there. I liked that movie—maybe I shouldn't kill myself.

In reality, it was only part of myself I wanted to kill: the part that wanted to kill herself, that dragged me into the suicide debate and made every window, kitchen implement, and subway station a rehearsal for tragedy."

hm, that's a good writing to take time to sit and think about, thank you