How you will spend your last days?

[silence ends]

For me its last days before ctb.
Today im gonna get some drugs and lot of junk food, enjoy and then start fasting for SN.
I gonna spend rest money i got, i really hope my SN (from IC 1/23) will do the job. Got metos 50mg and benzos with it.
Ill get some oxy too today and save some to ctb night, wich will be ~48 hours from now.

Sick and tired to live but will enjoy last day to the max!

How you will spend last day alive?

 

[Abyssal]

I've lived a life without regrets but if I look hard enough into my life I could probably find some more minor mistakes. I'd probably try and bandage those and do a lot of writing. I've got real bad writing problems though, bad hand posture. Probably gonna hurt lol.

Mad respect, hope your last day is smooth and jolly.

 

[notahappygirl]

Same eating lots of junk food

 

[uncat_]

For me its last days before ctb.
Today im gonna get some drugs and lot of junk food, enjoy and then start fasting for SN.
I gonna spend rest money i got, i really hope my SN (from IC 1/23) will do the job. Got metos 50mg and benzos with it.
Ill get some oxy too today and save some to ctb night, wich will be ~48 hours from now.

Sick and tired to live but will enjoy last day to the max!

How you will spend last day alive?

getting high and eating junk food is the greatest way to end your life, honestly

 

[J&L383]

But not too much junk food, because then I get bloated .

Lots of music and mellow pharmaceuticals.

 

[UKscotty]

Junk food and getting high seem like good ideas in principle but any feel good stuff is highly likely to trigger our SI.

For me, last days will be trying my best to avoid anything likely to trigger dopamine and setting off my SI again.

 

[Red Moon]

Probably just watching movie, eating junk food and playing video game.

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

For me its last days before ctb.
Today im gonna get some drugs and lot of junk food, enjoy and then start fasting for SN.
I gonna spend rest money i got, i really hope my SN (from IC 1/23) will do the job. Got metos 50mg and benzos with it.
Ill get some oxy too today and save some to ctb night, wich will be ~48 hours from now.

Sick and tired to live but will enjoy last day to the max!

How you will spend last day alive?

Glad you have all the meds to make it smoother.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'd wish to spend any remaming time sleeping personally as after all it's the closest to not existing. There's nothing desirable about being conscious and aware, all I wish for is to be permanently unaware of this hellish, futile existence. I'm tired of suffering and I despise existing, non-existence is always preferable to me.

 

[tomthemouse1]

For me I would just delete all of my accounts, all of my data, images, emails, anything that is on my phone or pc, I would just wipe everything I can.

I would leave a small message on my phone. Like a farewell message.

Probably will be a bit more spiritual and will pray for a long time.

I won't stay for a long time Probably 2 days and I would be gone.

Will probably leave behind my important accounts information like password and such things.

Will leave a small will that will state that all of my stuff except a few things will be given to charity. Not so sure the people reading it will take it seriously or nah but I would do what I can.

Cheers,
Joe

 

[pilotviolin]

getting high and sour gummies yeah. lots of music and blankets depending on how i go. i hope your last days are comfy and wishing peace.

 

[Jorms_McGander]

For me its last days before ctb.
Today im gonna get some drugs and lot of junk food, enjoy and then start fasting for SN.
I gonna spend rest money i got, i really hope my SN (from IC 1/23) will do the job. Got metos 50mg and benzos with it.
Ill get some oxy too today and save some to ctb night, wich will be ~48 hours from now.

Sick and tired to live but will enjoy last day to the max!

How you will spend last day alive?

Hope you find some peaceful times coming up.

I think my last 48 hours would be pretty quiet, solitary. I'm that kind of person. Leading up to those days I'd be trying to spend time outdoors and have conversations with people who might want me not to CTB--either come to terms with it now while I can answer questions, or a person can fuck off and figure it out after kind of talks. But important to me that I put an effort in on my end, so it will include that.

I won't have a pet to spend time with, and I shouldn't have taken in a street cat cuz now I have this fuckin cat to worry about. So she won't be an option for last days. Just me and nature and whoever can possibly accept reality as it truly is.

 

[marchshift]

Reviewing notes, inspiration and resting.

 

[gantaigarashi]

For the last 48 hours. I'll be doing nothing. But in the last week of my life I'll be spending all my money on hookers

 

[gorexzxz]

I'm gonna book a stay at a cheap hotel. Go to the hotel. Order a pizza, mozzarella sticks. Set up a payment delay to give the last of my money to a friend and then follow the method.

 

[SuicidalTiger]

I want to spend some of my money and buy some homless people dominoes. I want to drive a motorbike to some places I've never seen before.
I want to listen to good music, and try resturaunt sushi.
I want to leave money and my bike for my partner.

 

[Dark Window]

1. Suicide notes
2. Cheeseburgers
3. milkshakes
4. porn
5. Video games

 

[TheOblivion]

I read your comments and I realize how really bad I am or how good you are.
I got to the point where music or food no longer gave me pleasure and this considering that when I was younger I considered myself a music lover.
Today I only eat so as not to have fatigue and I avoid music because it affects my mood, the music that I liked makes me sad and makes me remember better times.
Yesterday I received my SN order in my apartment, I was thinking about using it on a beach near my city but going out makes me anxious and in my apartment I live with my younger sister who studies at the university.
I'm thinking about doing it even if she's the one who finds me because I can't take it anymore.

 

[restlessdream3r]

Planning for 4/26 or 4/27. Tonight I put together baskets for my kids, I got my daughter a necklace with her name and it matches mine. I got my son some special things too. I have a few last minute things to gather. I am going to book a hotel for a few nights, finish my note.

 

[silence ends]

Getting bit nervous. 10hours left.
Not having any doubts wether do it or not, just getting excited.
Think i take some benzos during evening to calm my self down before the process.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Probably just as I usually do. There's nothing about life that I enjoy

 

[viljalauss]

there's some things i wanna draw (at least one thing). or rather try to, it may turn out terrible but i wanna try before i go

make sure all my finished music is publicly available and also provide notes(?) on drafts (i have lots and lots of them)

planning to ctb the day after my last final exam, so. not much enjoyable before the exam itself. but afterwards i may go for a nice meal :) first thought was trying wendy's / other new fast food, but something familiar and comforting (read: falafel) could also be lovely. ok i also want a rich dessert cause what's an ed if you are literally to die tomorrow. then start fasting for sn - should be able to do ~24h as i don't have anywhere to be

all this assumes the sn is (still) pure enough; honestly there's always some chance i messed up wrt storage. nothing is foolproof with me

also have note finalised. it's pretty piecemeal right now. it will end up being long - i think for good reason, but i need to make sure that space is being used as best as possible to show coherent and rational thought

might also go to the lake near me and feed the ducks (which i have been meaning to do for a long time). no bread! maybe some sunflower seeds. ducks are animals of culture, it appears :)

 

[asphyxiangel]

tbh i don't think that id plan it out in a sense that i would want to do something specific before i ctb. i think if it comes to me it'll probably be on some sort of impulse when i feel like there is no other option left.