How to I suppress my emotions better?

[Gabbi_Station]

I constantly make the mistake of opening up and trying to talk to people about what upsets me.

I told my family about how my boss announced on my last meeting there that she hired someone to "cleanse the office" this weekend while I was sitting there (I quit because this boss blew up at me about the air vent noise irritating a customer like the building is somehow my fault and used to regularly humiliate employees at staff meetings) and while talking with them…I realized they just didn't really care.

Every time I open up… I wish that I hadn't. All the secrets that I have kept to myself, I actually feel better when don't tell them (previous suicide attempts, crushes, what I did my weekend, ect).

I used to be better at keeping things to myself in my twenties, but now I can't get rid of the urge to have someone comfort me or make me feel better… even though I internally know I will be disappointed. That my emotions always happen when someone else is going through something and I have to table them anyway. That it just always feels like it's about them and never me.

How do I get that skill back? How do I silence the urge to share?

My goal is to just wait out my depression until it gets so bad that I can attempt again… to stop needing anyone else and to I guess just keep everything to myself.

 

[Ricoshay]

Yes, most people are great talkers, few are great listeners. I mean you can just find different outlets like venting in forums to strangers, or just keep a journal or something like that to contain all your thoughts and feelings. There's subreddits specifically like r/antiwork where people will get where you are coming from for instance. You just have to find the related group/people to your problem, way easier to find online of course.

 

[Gabbi_Station]

Yes, most people are great talkers, few are great listeners. I mean you can just find different outlets like venting in forums to strangers, or just keep a journal or something like that to contain all your thoughts and feelings. There's subreddits specifically like r/antiwork where people will get where you are coming from for instance. You just have to find the related group/people to your problem, way easier to find online of course.

I already journal and have basically "pretend" conversations on the phone when I know none of my family will listen.

I just want to get to the point where I am completely shut down and don't open up at all.

I grew up neglected and abused and used to be great at compartmentalizing everything and covering up my emotions… but after forcibly getting therapy after my suicide attempt, I feel like I have just lost that skill and want to get it back.

 

[Ricoshay]

I already journal and have basically "pretend" conversations on the phone when I know none of my family will listen.

I just want to get to the point where I am completely shut down and don't open up at all.

I grew up neglected and abused and used to be great at compartmentalizing everything and covering up my emotions… but after forcibly getting therapy after my suicide attempt, I feel like I have just lost that skill and want to get it back.

If you have something you will never tell anyone just extend it to everything else that happens tricking your brain into thinking if you confide in anybody with anything, your main secret will also come out. Or just meet and keep talking with more uncaring people till it's drilled into your subconscious that most people only care about themselves first and foremost. That really should just come naturally tbh, unless you're really lucky.