how to get over SI

[dnrlexola]

is there anything that you guys tell yourselves to help with SI? i know alcohol helps, but is there a saying or a phrase anyone knows that can make it easier for my SI to shut the hell up?

 

[Sutter]

Patience.

There is some conditioning you could try, in short it is leading yourself. CTB by gun get to know the weapon, hold it. Other methods, just be familiar with the method. Time…SI will do what it is supposed to do, for some maybe there is a reason to draw out the decision.

This next is how it works for me.

Stacked up my pain in life till finally I buckled under it all. My SI kicked in but I just held my breath for a second and it became real clear I would not survive this one. Still have days that arent bad but I know where things are going and my time is limited. I got to an acceptance point. I will also most likely die by gun, so yep, a little scotch, good spot, a last moment to let my grief rip me apart and then all stop. I survive by dieing.

 

[dnrlexola]

Patience.

There is some conditioning you could try, in short it is leading yourself. CTB by gun get to know the weapon, hold it. Other methods, just be familiar with the method. Time…SI will do what it is supposed to do, for some maybe there is a reason to draw out the decision.

This next is how it works for me.

Stacked up my pain in life till finally I buckled under it all. My SI kicked in but I just held my breath for a second and it became real clear I would not survive this one. Still have days that arent bad but I know where things are going and my time is limited. I got to an acceptance point. I will also most likely die by gun, so yep, a little scotch, good spot, a last moment to let my grief rip me apart and then all stop. I survive by dieing.

i have a gun and even went to the gun range to practice shooting it to make sure i knew how it worked, but i am really scared of surviving the gun shot and living as a vegetable the rest of my life

 

[Sutter]

i have a gun and even went to the gun range to practice shooting it to make sure i knew how it worked, but i am really scared of surviving the gun shot and living as a vegetable the rest of my life

Valid fear.

Dive in the fear…Is vegetable worth continued life with your burden? Keep in mind that you may not be trapped in your head, you may cease to exist in your current capacity even on a failed attempt. Just looking at the fear itself, double down. What I mean by that is provide a double jeopardy lethality situation, gunshot while jumping off a cliff. Switch the handgun for a shotgun with slugs and double jeopardy. That would guarantee lack of a vegetable condition.

This was just logic though. Is there a deeper reason? Maybe try a moment alone somewhere. Just listen to the world around you, be easy with yourself and try to ask some honest questions of yourself. If it is only the fear of vegetable perhaps another method or the above will help. You may find it is other reasons though, and they are yours to know and have.

 

[dnrlexola]

Valid fear.

Dive in the fear…Is vegetable worth continued life with your burden? Keep in mind that you may not be trapped in your head, you may cease to exist in your current capacity even on a failed attempt. Just looking at the fear itself, double down. What I mean by that is provide a double jeopardy lethality situation, gunshot while jumping off a cliff. Switch the handgun for a shotgun with slugs and double jeopardy. That would guarantee lack of a vegetable condition.

This was just logic though. Is there a deeper reason? Maybe try a moment alone somewhere. Just listen to the world around you, be easy with yourself and try to ask some honest questions of yourself. If it is only the fear of vegetable perhaps another method or the above will help. You may find it is other reasons though, and they are yours to know and have.

ya i'm thinking partial hanging. maybe even tying a noose and then shooting myself so i hang myself after i shoot myself- double jeopardy like you were saying.
i definitely need to drink first though. thanks for replying to me it's kinda nice to have a convo on here, i'm more of a lurker. this was my first thread

 

[Sutter]

You Sir/Maam/They, are welcome.

 

[looking4partner]

i have a gun and even went to the gun range to practice shooting it to make sure i knew how it worked, but i am really scared of surviving the gun shot and living as a vegetable the rest of my life

Same and part of my reason for CTB is that I'm already disabled & trapped in my body :(