how to cope with being unattractive

[annoyed]

i dont have any real presence outside and cant commit to trying to get out more because transportation is a big hassle (no car, bus line is too far from my house, i live alone)

the only experience i have with real humans is at my job which isnt really my place. i only work with old people and occasionally i receive micro aggressions from the general public (weird stares, not saying thank you, etc.)

im always on my computer and i dont have many coping techniques for when i get sad, so i rely on looking for validation and when i do this, im never up to anybodys standards. its been like this for years now

i google search things that may be the cause of triggering my self-esteem, like do people find blk people less attractive or am i not lucky with men because im not feminine enough. is me being blk and gay both detrimental to this search for connection,

and honestly from what i've experienced and read it starts to feel more real that i'm not fated to love and i'm just here to entertain most and leave

i love my closest friends a lot but the connection i have with them isn't enough for my unquenchable desire for validation, careful attention, even coddling at this point. they can comfort me when it feels like i'm upset but my ungrateful brain is never happy

but i want to know how to maybe get over being unlovable for things i can't control. i'm past the point of self love, i will never be able to love myself, i am in constant battle with my brain and i even struggle to give my mirror reflection eye contact

what do you do when it feels like your pushing harder than the average human everyday for ultimately nothing

 

[PI3.14]

It's unfortunately one of the reasons I want to end my life, height issue to be specific, and I'm unable to cope with it, can't lie to myself either unfortunately.

I tried to get over this, my therapist tried too, nothing worked.

Tbh, I don't have an advice, other than wishing you luck in finding love, and finding someone who will truly live you for who you are

 

[annoyed]

It's unfortunately one of the reasons I want to end my life, height issue to be specific, and I'm unable to cope with it, can't lie to myself either unfortunately.

how tall are you because i have the same problem. maybe i could make you feel better by telling you im 6'5". my appearance, shape and size are pivotal reasons for my insecurity and my suicidal ideation.


i start to wonder why would a higher being do this to us lol, i never understood it. they give us qualities that could fit so much better in another individual's body, and tell us to search harder and deal with the rejection and internal pain, THEN make said pain excruciating for a minor, unfortunate set of people.

 

[PI3.14]

how tall are you because i have the same problem. maybe i could make you feel better by telling you im 6'5". my appearance, shape and size are pivotal reasons for my insecurity and my suicidal ideation.


i start to wonder why would a higher being do this to us lol, i never understood it. they give us qualities that could fit so much better in another individual's body, and tell us to search harder and deal with the rejection and internal pain, THEN make said pain excruciating for a minor, unfortunate set of people.

I'm a guy, straight, and I'm 5'4 or 164 cm