This is an exaggerated example. We can't and shouldn't compare ourselves to literal hermits in the woods. That's a whole different life. It's more relevant for us to think about how to comfortably live in society with minimum possible engagement.
Well, fair enough. It was only meant to indicate that some people are really just
that indifferent to a sense of loneliness. For them, the emotion might very well not even exist in them at all. This is a pretty rare trait and, like I pointed out before, it's probably only reserved for schizoids of the highest caliber. On the flipside, a lot of guys become hermits (or at least claim to be hermits), but still remain in touch with people from time to time; like Richard Proenneke or Henry David Thoreau. Religious hermits are mainly guided by their own beliefs and, without them, would probably not be hermits. CTK seemed like the only hermit who truly wished to be a hermit for its own sake. He chose the woods as his place of solitude, but it's entirely possible he could've chosen a different path to achieve the same end and been more of a "modern hermit", thereby secluding himself in his own home. I wouldn't be surprised if that's what he's doing right now, to be honest.
However, even with CTK, he claimed he'd sometimes see a "lady of the woods" whenever he was extremely close to starvation, or succumbing to the elements, or just straight up dying from illness. To him, it symbolized the grim reaper, but I wonder if it was also his loneliness coming though in a sense. Like I said, I highly doubt he'd ever admit to that being the case, assuming it actually were. It just goes to show that even for CTK, grandmaster of all schizoids, he might have probably still struggled with loneliness on some level and, just maybe, his extreme isolation as well. It's just that the alternative would be an even worse source of discomfort for him (as it is for me), so it was always easier/more natural to stick with what he felt most at home in, which was remaining isolated.
There's also Thomas Ligotti, who is a somewhat well known author and depressive that, by all accounts (including his own), lives an extremely secluded life. Even with the few acquaintances that he has, he's remarked on the fact that he still greatly suffers from feelings of depression, loneliness and anhedonia. He'd be the first to tell you the sheer self-defeating futility of human relationships and, to my knowledge, he's never gotten married, nor dabbled with the opposite sex for decades. He could very well be a virgin, as far as anyone knows. Again though, as rationally as either he or anyone else can accept the facts, one still has to grapple with the inherent nature of human beings. To put it simply, humans just didn't evolve to live this sort of way. Apes are the most family oriented and socially needy creatures on the planet. Never has their been an ape that evolved to live apart from other apes, in the same way a tiger can easily live apart from other tigers. or how an octopus can just as easily live apart from other octopods. The social needs of either creature begin and end at brief mating periods, spending the rest of their lives entirely alone. By contrast, apes live and interact with each other all the time. There's a fundamental clash between our individual natures and the general nature of the human genome. I feel that, for many, this clash simply can't be reconciled. You simply have to bear with it as best you can. If we could all somehow learn to be schizoid, then there'd at least be the chance to resolve the conflict present here to a satisfactory conclusion, but we can't.
Like most things, you're either born as one, or you're not. To suddenly become a schizoid; it's as impossible as willing one's height to change, or to force some genetic illness to vacate your body by sheer thought alone. I just think it's more honest to remind people that, by and large, the best you can do here is damage control. The pain will always be there, that simply can't be helped, and anyone who says otherwise is usually lying (either to themselves or others), but here's some ways you can try to mitigate it all the same. If the above author had the sense to realize this, then all the more power to having done what he did. If not, well I just think that's being a bit disingenuous. No one can simply ignore their biology. They can manage it to an extent, but a good deal of the pain will just need to be endured. There's really no way around it.
As far as men potentially suffering this predicament more than women might; that could possibly be true. Men have heightened sexual desires to contend with making it more difficult to go through life without ever having a mate, but women are generally more socially minded and tend to crave social contact just as much, if not moreso than males do, albeit for much different reasons. For women, this takes the form of needing other female friends to confide in or mingling with other people for various reasons. Historically, women were always at the center of village life and agrarian societies, engaging in group actives and generally keeping close bonds with the "local tribe", as it were. Going back to hermits for a minute, it's not often that there have ever been female ones. Almost all hermits/recluses tend to be male, which suggests that it's hard for most females to adopt a totally solitary position in life. Beyond anyone's gender though, it really just comes down to how each individual person can manage to cope with this sort of thing. I mean, after all, schizoids can be either male or female, which is already the best advantage you can have when trying to live a life forever alone, while getting by with only the most minimal of social contact.
For myself, if it weren't for my mother being around, and thus having the ability to talk with her on a regular basis, I'd have a much tougher time being this way. I could never interact with other humans, nor would I really want to. Be that as it may, and as I think you mentioned once before, we all need
some kind of social interaction to get by. For many, this is fulfilled by the internet and bantering back and forth on forums like this one. Here's the rub though. Sometimes this just isn't enough. I know that, speaking for myself, even with having my mother to talk to and this forum to come to, I still struggle with the pain of my isolation and the conflict that causes with my human biology. The pain is lessened by the presence of my mother and this forum, but it isn't gone entirely. Quite the contrary, there are days where it's still quite intense, or downright painful. Even with the stuff I have currently at my disposal, I find that depression, and the constant pain management therein, is still a very real struggle for me. Like I said, the best I, or most anyone can do; is damage control. That's why I somewhat envy schizoids because any damage control they might need to grapple with is very minimal, or perhaps non-existent altogether. It really sucks how even when it comes to crap like this, it still basically comes down to genetics in the end.
