How sure are you that you want to CTB

[x22]

What about sn how do u feel about tht

It would definitely be ideal but I'm not sure how I would acquire/keep it without suspicion. I live at home and the last thing I want is to worry my family.

 

[deadbehindtheeyes12]

like 95% just fear of hell keeping me here but dunno what will happen during next pain flare

 

[broken_stoic]

I've reached some conclusions, and that matters to me more than what I'm feeling in the moment. I get moodswings, but I'm doing my best to keep my resolve regardless of how I feel.

 

[Demian]

Except for a miracle, 100%

 

[ItsyBitsyWeetard]

I've been thinking about suicide a lot but I know I suffer from mood swings, I'm not 100% either way but I feel like one bad night is all it takes. Does anyone else feel like this??

i mean i wouldnt say i want to but i pretty much have to due to my incurable chronic condition and mental illness and due to the effect they have on my life

 

[lnlybnny]

I don't want to. I NEED to.

 

[noname37]

100%

 

[cotton]

Yeah it's possible, something might happen and be enough but I don't know what yet... I'm not sure I'll manage to put myself in that situation.

 

[asthedayends00]

I'm 100% sure that I want to be dead. The only thing stopping me is that I can't access a suicide method. If I could and it's highly likely that I'd succeed with it, I'd escape this existence asap

No access to rope?

 

[ijustwishtodie]

No access to rope?

I could access a rope but it's pointless because my autistic brain makes me incapable of understanding how to tie knots. I can't even tie my shoe laces as I just can't understand the mechanisms of tying knots

 

[complex]

I don't want this agony. I don't see me making a future i want or desire. I don't see me having energy to fight this disorder all the time for ever more. I hate ageing and i hate myself enough BUT have a dam SI that kicks in at mo and reasons like a relatives birthday and not wanting my death connected to that date or my mum frailness making me feel soo full of guilt but i hope to snap and give the SI the heave ho as mum loves me surely she wld see am suffering and as for special dates thats important but no more until mum birthday spring next year so hopefully lets snap and ceast to exist in this agony any more

 

[asthedayends00]

I could access a rope but it's pointless because my autistic brain makes me incapable of understanding how to tie knots. I can't even tie my shoe laces as I just can't understand the mechanisms of tying knots

A couple videos that are less than 2 min long each are very easy step by step for the knot you'll need.

 

[NegevChina]

I don't want to end things but with the multiple health conditions that have caused deterioration and no signs of a clear diagnosis or treatment i don't see any other option..the longer I'm here the more loss I experience.

Same with me, multiple health conditions, some newly added, mental deterioration, no clear diagnosis and treatment, and relationships being destroyed because close family don't belief or understand my suffering and me not being able to work or function as before. Im sure i want to CTB just a matter of when.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

A couple videos that are less than 2 min long each are very easy step by step for the knot you'll need.

"Very easy" for the average person, sure, but it's pointless for me. I watched many videos when it came to tying shoelaces and I still couldn't do it. I also seen a step to step guide on the suicide resource compliation thread for the knots required in hanging but no matter how "easy" or simple it is, I could never understand it myself. Don't assume that my capabilities are the exact same as the average person as it isn't. What is easy for most people isn't easy for me

 

[pithyone]

100% within 30 days, thankfully

 

[nattanatta]

I don't want to, but I cannot live with this excruciating pain that I know won't ever again be alleviated.

 

[BornByGhosts]

i only get surer with every passing day and that's not a joke

 

[vanibless]

If my life won't change for the next 3 years then I am 100% doing it