Discussion How many women are incels?

[littlepup159]

Wait why would your trans healthcare provider verbally assault you? That's terrible business! I hope you ditched them right after that and I'm sorry that you now get to experience the pains of womanhood with us too but I guess that's the double edged sword.

I disagreed why I couldn't get bottom surgery. I had such strong arguments that he threatened me and get me to panic attack. His points wasnt even relevant and it was against the guidelines. It's not that easy in my country. A lot of sexuologist have a long waiting time and he is the most liberal and less gaslighting one. Even through I think he has a monster inside his soul. He has some sexual remarks to my mtf friend who also visits him. He has a lot of connection to trans support lobbing organization and make a lot of money from insurance companies and through indirect subsidies. I hope all sexuologist and psychologist who make sure who is a trutrans die in hell. They all the same only the liberal ones will tell you how valid you are and then denied your life saving meds/surgeries.

 

[Cauliflour]

I disagreed why I couldn't get bottom surgery. I had such strong arguments that he threatened me and get me to panic attack. His points wasnt even relevant and it was against the guidelines. It's not that easy in my country. A lot of sexuologist have a long waiting time and he is the most liberal and less gaslighting one. Even through I think he has a monster inside his soul. He has some sexual remarks to my mtf friend who also visits him. He has a lot of connection to trans support lobbing organization and make a lot of money from insurance companies and through indirect subsidies. I hope all sexuologist and psychologist who make sure who is a trutrans die in hell. They all the same only the liberal ones will tell you how valid you are and then denied your life saving meds/surgeries.

oh.

 

[bankai]

Damn,these threads are quite popular.

 

[TheLastGreySky]

It's a public space. Just don't be a pervert.

Damn,these threads are quite popular.

Yeah I think it's pretty strange how each gender wants to understand each other but drastically fail fails to 80% of the time.

You know what they say though... Laugh and the world laughs with you; weep and you weep alone.

I really like your vibe you seem really thoughtful and considerate :)

Thank you I appreciate it. You seem pretty cool too

 

[milkteacrown]

You don't know how much this mindset and words can hurt to hear as a man .
Alright let's assume 99.99 percent of men are terrible. Why is it fair for the remaining 0.01 to hear these words about themselves. If I belong to a gender that is considered violent and rapist why should honestly any man live ? What's the point? If my existence makes women suffer it's my responsibility to kill myself

Why do you keep asking women if you should kill yourself for being a man? We're a pro-choice forum, after all. Farewell!

 

[pathetic failure]

Why do you keep asking women if you should kill yourself for being a man? We're a pro-choice forum, after all. Farewell!

The question is hypothetical. I'm already killing myself for other reasons

 

[themisfell]

I'm sorry, what does incel mean?

 

[TheLastGreySky]

The question is hypothetical. I'm already killing myself for other reasons

This is why we can't nice things Pat.

I'm sorry, what does incel mean?

Incel means involuntarily celibate, as in someone who is a virgin or can't acquire a romantic partner.

 

[yxmux]

actually i think the existence of gender and sex itself makes me want to kms.

i'm a "trans woman" though i kind of don't really give a shit anymore since transitioning was apparently a dud for me, despite starting relatively young (16) and being 5'2. that fucking sucks i guess hahaha. don't know why i really care about my gender so much in the first place tbh.

 

[NonEssential]

Incel means involuntarily celibate, as in someone who is a virgin or can't acquire a romantic partner.

By the original definition I'm an incel, but I don't want to use that word as then people would assume that I'm an asshole who hates women.

 

[Ashu]

Dicti

Incels and femcels are just weird people. Blame yourself before you blame others for the lack of sex you get. It's just a bunch of horny people who blame the other sex for not having intercourse with them. Lots of people don't understand this definition.

Definition of INCEL

a person (usually a man) who regards himself or herself as being involuntarily celibate and typically expresses extreme resentment and hostility toward those who are sexually active… See the full definition

www.merriam-webster.com

Dictionaries are not true language.

I've looked up that word 3 or 4 times and never noticed the hostility part of the definition. Thank you for pointing that out (really). I feel more educated now in made-up words. Not to trivialize the hurt I see being expressed in this thread. Generalizations are useful but can lead to mischaracterizations of individuals.

The authority on the meaning of a word is with the various communities that use it in their various ways for their own purposes. Dictionaries are bullshit.

 

[Forever Sleep]

You don't know how much this mindset and words can hurt to hear as a man .
Alright let's assume 99.99 percent of men are terrible. Why is it fair for the remaining 0.01 to hear these words about themselves. If I belong to a gender that is considered violent and rapist why should honestly any man live ? What's the point? If my existence makes women suffer it's my responsibility to kill myself

* Sorry for derailing the thread here OP *

I've just responded to your other thread about 'man hating' on the forum. I was curious to see where the complaint originated from so, I traced it back to here. Maybe there were other threads too though.

In response to your response. Yes, it's sad that women have such a profound distrust of men. Still- it's reasonable to question why- surely? Plus, to try to look for examples. I think the member you responded to made a fair point that a (worryingly large) proportion of men absolutely do abuse women and absolutely, some mechanisms in society ignore and enable it.

They maybe took it too far saying most men were 'awful' (although, maybe that has been their experience.) They did also specify that all men weren't 'disgusting' though.

There was no mention that men should kill themselves there though! The person was simply saying that as a society in which there is rife violence against women, women are wary of men and some have a very low opinion of them. Plus, why aren't the systems that ought to protect men and women from domestic violence working? That seems reasonable to me.

It's actually men as well as women who campaign for more to be done against domestic violence. They want their male 'brothers' to be held liable to account if they are violent because they care about women too. They may feel embarassed about being part of the same gender but, they don't retaliate with more hostility or, guilt tripping. How dare you be afraid and wary of me! They simply act decently to prove that there are still good men out there- which of course, there are.

Honestly though- to complain about a complaint about domestic violence. By saying effectively- you can't complain about being raped, hit, abused and then ignored by the authorities- because it hurts my feelings as a man, could be viewed as another way to silence women.

It's absolutely unfortunate that some women and men who have encountered sexual and domestic abuse will now carry a distrust/ disgust of the opposite sex. That's why we ought to be doing more to prevent it though. That certainly doesn't mean all women hate men or vice versa.

And, it's only the most extreme that want all the opposite sex dead. I don't think I've run into any personally. Maybe some of us like the idea of living in matriarchal societies or, only women groups but again- who can blame them- if they've been brutalised?

It just feels a little like you're assuming- this woman hates men so therefore, all women do- which isn't true. Our opinions are defined by our experiences. This woman and all others want us dead. Which also isn't true. They simply want to stop a percentage of your gender raping and abusing them whilst society is ineffective to stop them. That's fair- surely?

 

[quins]

"Incel" is a newer part of the internet netspeak which I haven't really grown accustomed to, and the discourse surrounding it is a bit alien to me. Though a lot of the ideas of inceldom which have galvanised my own thinking are ideas which I had when I was younger when I had read Houellebecq for the first time (and as far as current discourse goes, the "sexual marketplace" and "SMV" is a an idea of our current siecle on par with "The Cathedral" of the Yarvinites).

A lot of "anti-incel" discourse mistakenly assumes that geographical conditions for mating rituals are uniform, or that "noncompetition" of these "marketplaces" don't actually exist but is just "in your head bro", that you just need to go outside and talk to people and "touch grass." Reminds me of that clip of Boomhauer from KOTH asking out hundreds of girls and only succeeding with a few, Bobby disillusioned with the approach withal, which seemed to me unfair; as some women in this thread have claimed they are "femcels" because "men are disgusting"--which might very well be true but obviously that isn't "inceldom" in the precise sense--, so incels shouldn't be made to endure these humiliating rituals.

Anyway, we didn't have a term for it when I was younger, but I suppose I am an "incel", in a looser sense. Of course, there is an element of "misogyny" in the term, but that to me, or at least in my experience, isn't particularly relevant to the practice of interacting with women. "Incel energy" isn't something which is perceived, and I refuse to believe that it can be perceived, as if "aura" were equivalent to wearing oversized indentures. But PUAs and general "gymbros" seem to have responded to these claims seriously by trying to game these initial impressions. So the wheels keep turning...

To respond to the original thread question, they likely do exist but it's wrong to assume that "incels" and "femcels" are just direct male-female counterparts of one another, or that the substance of their loneliness has the same cause.

 

[qw3rty259]

In my opinion, the term incel is stupid, or at least what people mean by it. In my imagination, an incel would be a person, who physically just can't partake in a sexual act... And the majority of the people who call themself by it are just losers who don't want to work on themselves and are poisoned by their toxic ideology. They just want to make it so that sex would be delivered to them on their call (and of course also for free). They are boiling in their helplessness. And the manspace influencers make things worse.

I think there are some so-called femcels, but they are far less frequent. In short, men are the ones who are partaking in the competition (most of the time). And ironically, they are the reason why it's like that. We see a lot of simping, and it seems like men can't hold their peepees in their pants. That's why there's a demand for almost every type of woman. So it's usually not a problem for a woman to get unnecessary attention. I'm generalising a lot, but you get the idea.

 

[quins]

Addendum: like all places I've found on the internet, incelosphere discourse washes up in the crags of online discourse where people operate on group-calibrated instinct, inattention, and a general huckster'y laziness in describing "incels" (even, as someone thoroughly "outside" of the kulcha, can i see just how dead a horse the incelosphere is, and with what impunity that horse is being beat!)

I will say, therefore, that the entire thing seems an imperious and "zogcoded" gynecocratic theorem for retarding young men into eunuchs or houseslaves. There's really nothing more to it.

 

[TheLastGreySky]

* Sorry for derailing the thread here OP *

Don't be sorry. I'm trying not to say anything that would get him picked on. The biggest thing is when women talk about being abused a lot of men who have been abused feel like that's discrediting to their experience so they are quick to add that it's not all men, and to be fair it's not... But...
When someone is venting about their experience the last thing they need is someone to attack what they're saying. Everyone knows it's not all men, but when a person is speaking they deserve to be heard - not corrected, I just don't know how to talk to this guy without being insensitive because I have my own biases about what it means to be a man and what you have to accept as a man.

I totally agree with what you're saying here.
I honestly have a bigger issue with men who walk around with this whole "TrUsT mE I'm a SaFe space" thing. Like I don't trust anyone who says to trust them to begin with. Trust is earned. But it's weird to shift the conversation to yourself when someone's talking about being traumatized.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I'm sorry, what does incel mean?

I've been told about 5 times now and I still have no idea based on the renegade comments here. It's like a foreign language. It's all Klingon to me. But the kids here seem to be enjoying themselves so I'm trying to keep up.

 

[Pluto]

 

[wormbrained]

I'm a femcel but that's because most men aka basically all of them disgust me

understandable tbh

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

By the original definition I'm an incel, but I don't want to use that word as then people would assume that I'm an asshole who hates women.

I'm glad you feel that way but then how do you describe an incel to be for you personally?
Not that you need to reply no pressure or ahhh anything was just curious and either way gald you "don't hate women"

It's NOTHING like porn makes it out to be. It's a culture and not a costume. The people who are into GENERALLY tend to have a wider variety of interests when it comes to sex... HOWEVER that's a generalization and isn't a core value whatsoever.

The idea behind BDSM is submission is earned.
The submissive has all the power and simply give permission to the dominant to be in that position.

That's why I said I highly recommend studying it THOROUGHLY. Because it's life changing, unfortunately most people have a terrible impression of it due to movies like Hellraiser

See I'm for it but I can't Condon it because of how internationally widely an toxically it's displayed on social midea and on porn sites and even parades,,, it can be very disturbing seeing children trying to enjoy a parade while some bad folks try to use that as a way to display there fetishes.

 

[TheLastGreySky]

I'm glad you feel that way but then how do you describe an incel to be for you personally?
Not that you need to reply no pressure or ahhh anything was just curious and either way gald you "don't hate women"

See I'm for it but I can't Condon it because of how internationally widely an toxically it's displayed on social midea and on porn sites and even parades,,, it can be very disturbing seeing children trying to enjoy a parade while some bad folks try to use that as a way to display there fetishes.

That's not BDSM that's just a bunch of people stealing the aesthetic for shock value.
BDSM is a lifestyle it's not a leather outfit. I'm highly against that shit, but unfortunately if I'm against the letter alphabet that constantly expose themselves to kids in parades then suddenly I'm the bad guy. A wise person once said you know your true Masters in society you can always tell because they're the people you're not allowed to make fun of.

 

[NonEssential]

I'm glad you feel that way but then how do you describe an incel to be for you personally?
Not that you need to reply no pressure or ahhh anything was just curious and either way gald you "don't hate women"

The word originally meant involuntarily celibate as in someone who can't get a romantic or sexual partner. People who've claimed to be incels have usually been very hateful and misogynistic. Thanks to that, nowadays the word seems to be an another way to say misogynistic, so you can sometimes see even married men be called incels even though that makes no sense.

 

[TheLastGreySky]

The word originally meant involuntarily celibate as in someone who can't get a romantic or sexual partner. People who've claimed to be incels have usually been very hateful and misogynistic. Thanks to that, nowadays the word seems to be an another way to say misogynistic, so you can sometimes see even married men be called incels even though that makes no sense.

Yeah, it honestly seems to be to the generic insult that people who only find value in sex use, which makes them look stupid too. But it's just like how everyone was getting called a narcissist a few years back. The word really only has the power you let have over you. I've been called it in arguments with strangers online and I laugh cause I'm not one. It seems to be a word people use to dodge accountability too.

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

I think the way incels have been displayed on social media for the last good freakin while has done it's damage unfortunately and no matter what if you yourself identify as an incel in your own way you'll unfortunately be lumped together with what's widely considered a incel now Wich is as you know involuntary celibate and blame the opposite sex for their lack of a sex life and being chronically online and being a shut in or being perceived as a filthy person for merely saying you might relate to certain aspects that incels face, it's so widely mutually acknowledged from one person to the other that incels are to be perceived and looked at like unhygienic porn addicted flesh light using self absorbed egotistical misogynists who have a severe superiority complex,, i think it's so widely accepted to assume one thinks that way when they say say they themselves are an incel not that it's true but people twist things up to the extreme and once it gets outta control there's no easy one shot way to adjust the way they've been contorted to be perceived

 

[quins]

I think the way incels have been displayed on social media for the last good freakin while has done it's damage unfortunately and no matter what if you yourself identify as an incel in your own way you'll unfortunately be lumped together with what's widely considered a incel now Wich is as you know involuntary celibate and blame the opposite sex for their lack of a sex life and being chronically online and being a shut in or being perceived as a filthy person for merely saying you might relate to certain aspects that incels face, it's so widely mutually acknowledged from one person to the other that incels are to be perceived and looked at like unhygienic porn addicted flesh light using self absorbed egotistical misogynists who have a severe superiority complex,, i think it's so widely accepted to assume one thinks that way when they say say they themselves are an incel not that it's true but people twist things up to the extreme and once it gets outta control there's no easy one shot way to adjust the way they've been contorted to be perceived

The question becomes, "how does self-identification alter life outcomes for the incel?"

Many would say it's a "self-defeating curse", that self-identification sets up a possibility theorem for failure (because ousting incels for "airing out their misogyny" is stupid, the assumption is that they just aren't "heckin' respectful" enough).
If that's so, then "incels" are a uniquely modern phenomenon; if not, then the content of the term "incel" is organic, meaning that one can be an incel independent of whether or not they identify with the term (that is, "recognition", rather than just choosing to identify). I've always been an "incel", but I was an incel long before it was even a term. A "proto-incel" or "protocel" if you will.

 

[damienlerone03]

This is why we can't nice things Pat.

Incel means involuntarily celibate, as in someone who is a virgin or can't acquire a romantic partner.

genuinely i have a question, at what age does someone become an incel? Like no one will call some 18 year old an incel for not having sex, i mean they're fresh out of being a kid. is it like mid 20s or something?

 

[monetpompo]

genuinely i have a question, at what age does someone become an incel? Like no one will call some 18 year old an incel for not having sex, i mean they're fresh out of being a kid. is it like mid 20s or something?

19-early 20s imo. people do have sex in high school but early college years is usually when people start having sex casually or in relationships

 

[TheLastGreySky]

genuinely i have a question, at what age does someone become an incel? Like no one will call some 18 year old an incel for not having sex, i mean they're fresh out of being a kid. is it like mid 20s or something?

Honestly because it's a derogatory term, I really don't think it has a definitive definition of a time frame. Because by definition if you want to have sex but cannot find a sex partner that you're attracted to then you're an incel.

I do think that it's something you shouldn't really put weight on. well sex is great and pretty damn awesome... So is watching your favorite show for the first time, eventually it just becomes background noise. I think social media really contorts what are expectations are. And it may sound really crude but practice relationships or situation-ships can help really ease your anxiety or boost your self confidence. Like I don't think I'm super attractive, but the women who don't find me attractive aren't attractive in my eyes because respectfully, what society values such as thin waists, a big bust, and tons of makeup is kind of boring. I absolutely hate the septum piercing fad that is super ugly rn. If she ain't got mama hips, she's not worth my attention.

Be mindful of your self-worth when you give someone attention. If someone isn't sure of you,
Don't invest in a single text. No one worth your time and respect and appreciation will make you chase. I said what I said.

 

[beelzebul]

I get that you're overwhelmed. But one of the hardest things about being a man is you just got to tough it out. No one is going to save you from yourself so if you know you're not some sexual predator... Then why are you getting offended?

Why does anyone get offended over generalizations? Because they're offensive. Women don't like it. POC don't like it. Why is it okay to generalize men, then?

You (not necessarily you, but in general) don't get to make sweeping generalizations and then scold the people those generalizations offend. That's not really how this works.

 

[beelzebul]

Actually it is how it works. There are no rules to society and things don't have to line up.

Men get generalized on the daily, and maybe if more people were sympathetic and respectful towards men, you would have grounds to expect being treated good... But you want respect from someone you don't respect. So no. And anyone who tells you otherwise it's just lying to you to avoid conflict. I just happen to have the self-respect to say that, I choose to respect others even when they disrespect me. But should I choose not to (as you feel like I have?) well that's reality.
There's baseline respect.
And then there's earned respect (pronouns, titles, privileges)
And then there's entitlement (view me as if I've earned something that I am not qualified to be labeled as)
I will not encourage someone who feels entitled.
I will not respect people who don't respect a gender outside their own.
I will not respect someone who does not respect the community outside their own.
Because that's baseline respect and if I don't get it I don't reciprocate it.

Actually it is how it works. There are no rules to society and things don't have to line up.

This is absurd. Of course there are rules. They aren't explicitly written anywhere, but unspoken or unwritten rules are still rules.

Men get generalized on the daily, and maybe if more people were sympathetic and respectful towards men, you would have grounds to expect being treated good

I'm a man. What are you talking about

But you want respect from someone you don't respect. So no. And anyone who tells you otherwise it's just lying to you to avoid conflict. I just happen to have the self-respect to say that, I choose to respect others even when they disrespect me. But should I choose not to (as you feel like I have?) well that's reality.

Huh? What does this even mean? Especially this:

But should I choose not to (as you feel like I have?) well that's reality.

I clearly stated I was using "you" in a general sense.

And then there's earned respect (pronouns,

No, pronouns shouldn't have to be "earned". If you misgender someone because they haven't "earned" your respect, you're just transphobic. Correct me if I've misunderstood your point here.

I have no clue why you responded to me the way you did and I'm genuinely confused. All I said was it isn't right to generalize and that it makes sense for people being generalized to be offended by it.