• UK users: Due to a formal investigation into this site by Ofcom under the UK Online Safety Act 2023, we strongly recommend using a trusted, no-logs VPN. This will help protect your privacy, bypass censorship, and maintain secure access to the site. Read the full VPN guide here.

  • Hey Guest,

    Today, OFCOM launched an official investigation into Sanctioned Suicide under the UK’s Online Safety Act. This has already made headlines across the UK.

    This is a clear and unprecedented overreach by a foreign regulator against a U.S.-based platform. We reject this interference and will be defending the site’s existence and mission.

    In addition to our public response, we are currently seeking legal representation to ensure the best possible defense in this matter. If you are a lawyer or know of one who may be able to assist, please contact us at [email protected].

    Read our statement here:

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC): 34HyDHTvEhXfPfb716EeEkEHXzqhwtow1L
    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9
    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8

What's your work situation?

  • I have a job and I like it

    Votes: 34 13.7%
  • I have a job and I don't like it

    Votes: 67 26.9%
  • I'm looking for a job

    Votes: 27 10.8%
  • I'm unemployed and not mentally able to work atm

    Votes: 90 36.1%
  • I have a physical disability that prevents me from working

    Votes: 13 5.2%
  • I'm in education

    Votes: 17 6.8%
  • I'm retired

    Votes: 1 0.4%

  • Total voters
    249
FadeOut

FadeOut

Member
Aug 9, 2022
51
I was and still am a creative freelancer. I loved my job. It meant everything to me. It's so hard to sustain financially though- so I'm currently looking for a more stable job. Or- temporary work to do alongside my freelance work. It's not going well. I'm so unmotivated. Doing the bare minimum each day. I already know from 10 years previous experience that I'm going to hate a wage slave job- if I'm 'lucky' enough to even get one.

It's honestly the main reason I want to CTB. I expect that sounds lame to a lot of people but I don't really care. Picture the most important thing in your life- and losing it. That's how I feel.
It's not lame at all. Most jobs seem horrible to me. Doing something you don't like every fucking day is just... soul-crushing. I hope you find a way to earn a living again with your freelance work ❤️
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: ShanaRei, Huntfish34, Ilayis and 2 others
S

Secret

Member
Feb 10, 2021
45
No job. Been unable to work for many years now due to my mh problems.
Makes me feel like an absolute failure tbh. I see so many other people my age and even younger, out there living their lives and earning money. Then there is me. Barely able to make it from day to day as my head is so dark and everything is just too hard.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Huntfish34, Ilayis, Skathon and 1 other person
L

lukas19

Specialist
Jan 17, 2023
345
Is anyone here on Disability?
Yes, i have enough money to live, just. But i never leave my flat but all day every day all i dream off is CTB
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Huntfish34, jessisme and newave3
S

Secret

Member
Feb 10, 2021
45
Is anyone here on Disability?
Yes. I have been for years now. Here in the UK there is so much stigma and judgements about people who are on benefits. :(
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Huntfish34, tiredone, jessisme and 1 other person
Susannah

Susannah

Mage
Jul 2, 2018
534
I have a job, and I like it. But the salary is so shitty that I'd be better off economically if I had a mental illness.
Cause:

The state of Norway has "mental health as a priority". I don't mind that thought, but old people in Norway is now dying in their own shit. I've seen it, and it's awful.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Huntfish34 and newave3
J

jessisme

Specialist
Dec 3, 2022
382
Yes. I have been for years now. Here in the UK there is so much stigma and judgements about people who are on benefits. :(

I'm in the US and there is stigma against people on disability here too. I have been on it for the past twelve years but have really needed it as my condition with Bipolar keeps me pretty unstable even while medicated. I live with my mother and her stability helps a lot in this too.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: Huntfish34, Ilayis, Susannah and 2 others
S

Secret

Member
Feb 10, 2021
45
I'm in the US and there is stigma against people on disability here too. I have been on it for the past twelve years but have really needed it as my condition with Bipolar keeps me pretty unstable even while medicated. I live with my mother and her stability helps a lot in this too.
I think wherever you are, the stigma will always be there, sadly. I live with my mum too. Her and my animals are the reason I am not CTB just yet.
The area where I stay (in the countryside) either people are retired or are working full time. So I am the odd one out.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: ShanaRei, Huntfish34, newave3 and 2 others
J

jessisme

Specialist
Dec 3, 2022
382
I think wherever you are, the stigma will always be there, sadly. I live with my mum too. Her and my animals are the reason I am not CTB just yet.
The area where I stay (in the countryside) either people are retired or are working full time. So I am the odd one out.

My mother and my animals are what keeps me from ctb too. The neighborhood we live in is mostly younger working families. My mother is retired and so we spend most of our time together. We live here on our own and I help her with a lot of stuff and I worry some
about what will happen for her when I am (inevitably) gone. It's all very uncertain and scary. I think when you are on disability you are always going to be the odd one out in most cases. I try not to let it bother me. I do lie to some people and tell them I am employed just to escape their (harsh) judgement.
 
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: Huntfish34, Hotsackage, Susannah and 1 other person
S

Secret

Member
Feb 10, 2021
45
My mother and my animals are what keeps me from ctb too. The neighborhood we live in is mostly younger working families. My mother is retired and so we spend most of our time together. We live here on our own and I help her with a lot of stuff and I worry some
about what will happen for her when I am (inevitably) gone. It's all very uncertain and scary. I think when you are on disability you are always going to be the odd one out in most cases. I try not to let it bother me. I do lie to some people and tell them I am employed just to escape their (harsh) judgement.
You are right, it is scary. The future terrifies me if I am being completely honest. I rely on my mum a lot. I can't drive and since we don't live within walking distance to a train station or on a bus route since they stopped it, so I do rely on her to drive me if need be.
I don't think she thought her 34 year old daughter would still be at home at this age, but here we are.

I dont think there is anything wrong with lying about something like that, if it gets people off your case.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Huntfish34, newave3, Forest Fire and 2 others
Susannah

Susannah

Mage
Jul 2, 2018
534
Yes. I have been for years now. Here in the UK there is so much stigma and judgements about people who are on benefits. :(
And here in Norway, it's almost the opposite. People on benefits often know the social systeme. They know how to use them, and how to get around the systeme without being caught. Most of them are refugies, or Polish or Sweedish.

Norwegian oil money is providing for everyone else but the Norwegians. Norway is still a little scared country. So afraid not being friends with the whole world, but we share border with Russia up north. "Must be careful".

Norway is member of NATO, and of course FN. "Must be careful".
But Norway said NO to EU.

Come to Norway. You can take over my appartment when I'm gone.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Huntfish34
J

jessisme

Specialist
Dec 3, 2022
382
You are right, it is scary. The future terrifies me if I am being completely honest. I rely on my mum a lot. I can't drive and since we don't live within walking distance to a train station or on a bus route since they stopped it, so I do rely on her to drive me if need be.
I don't think she thought her 34 year old daughter would still be at home at this age, but here we are.

I dont think there is anything wrong with lying about something like that, if it gets people off your case.

I don't drive either and my mother drives me most everywhere I need to go where I can't walk (which is most places). I don't think my mother ever thought that she would have what is essentially a completely dependent daughter at the age of 45. It's just turned out that way. It's good to hear from other people in similar positions. I feel for you as I know it's not easy. It's good to know I'm not alone. xoxox
 
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: Huntfish34 and Secret
Forest Fire

Forest Fire

Student
Jul 19, 2019
119
I'm fortunate that i was able to get a job that the monkeys off the old pg tips adverts would be over qualified for. Despite regularly being off sick i've been able to hold it down for over a decade now. I'm in the same boat as a couple of people on here in that one of my parents drives me there. Makes me feel like shit relying on them in my mid thirties, especially as they are getting on now and i should be looking after them.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: Huntfish34, Secret and jessisme
J

jessisme

Specialist
Dec 3, 2022
382
I don't think I fit into any of the categories. Worked all my life since my teens, until a few years ago.

My mental health took a major nosedive and I was no longer able to work. I am permanently disabled. (Mental health- not physical).

Don't really fit into the "unemployed, not mentally stable to work at the moment" category. My moment isn't coming back.

Are you on disability?
I'm fortunate that i was able to get a job that the monkeys off the old pg tips adverts would be over qualified for. Despite regularly being off sick i've been able to hold it down for over a decade now. I'm in the same boat as a couple of people on here in that one of my parents drives me there. Makes me feel like shit relying on them in my mid thirties, especially as they are getting on now and i should be looking after them.

I don't work but my mother is 71 and I am 45. I live with her and she STILL takes care of me as if I were a teenager. It's true I do things to help her but I'm not able to do for her or take care of myself as I would like to if I were more independent. It sucks because I see other people my age taking care of themselves, their kids AND their parents when I can't even adequately take care of myself.
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: Huntfish34 and Forest Fire
sadstuffie

sadstuffie

Student
Aug 11, 2020
157
i love my job & all my friends there! it's one of the things that keeps me going, we are all supportive of each other. my work family is what i consider to be my real family.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Huntfish34, Rairii, Ilayis and 1 other person
S

SamTam33

Warlock
Oct 9, 2022
763
I'm looking for a job but I'm too non-white to get hired in my field. I have another interview next week.

I can hardly wait to see what creative way they say, "You don't look like us so we're going with a candidate who does."

We're anticipating a lot of business from Europe so we went with a candidate who can connect with those customers.

You scored a near perfect match on your assessment, but the hiring manager went with someone whose experience she connected with more.


"Connect" is their buzzword of choice. It's coded, but I know what it means.

It's an established company that has the feel of a close family... Are you sure this is what you're looking for?

Who doesn't want to be part of an established family?!

But yeah, I saw the rows and rows of white men on your leadership team. Point me in the direction of the companies where this isn't the case and I'll apply there. In the meantime, fuck you and everyone like you.

Or maybe it'll be another company that suddenly "went bankrupt and shut down" less than 18 hours after I interviewed.

The recruiter hounded me for 2 weeks based on my resume. But soon after we spoke via Zoom, the company "went bankrupt."

It's a PUBLICLY TRADED company you potato-faced liar. And Google and the NYSE says otherwise.

(I need a place to release my hate. This isn't the space for it. But I don't know what to do with it and it's taking a toll)
 
  • Love
Reactions: Huntfish34
Ghostofthepast

Ghostofthepast

Student
Dec 31, 2022
177
I had a job I loved lost it and now idk what to do
 
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: Huntfish34, Ilayis, newave3 and 1 other person
Inferno

Inferno

Member
Jan 9, 2023
79
I have a job, as long as I get paid I don't care. Even if it's shitty.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Huntfish34, Ilayis and newave3
Soulless Angel

Soulless Angel

Did someone say Rum?
Jul 6, 2020
1,272
Yes. I have been for years now. Here in the UK there is so much stigma and judgements about people who are on benefits. :(

I get that PIP, but people who are working get it too, so why should their be a stigma its fucking frustrating
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Huntfish34
Aesthetic guy

Aesthetic guy

Just hanging around...
Dec 13, 2022
119
84h/week factory worker here... And i dont like it :hihi:
 
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: Huntfish34 and Ilayis
S

Secret

Member
Feb 10, 2021
45
I don't drive either and my mother drives me most everywhere I need to go where I can't walk (which is most places). I don't think my mother ever thought that she would have what is essentially a completely dependent daughter at the age of 45. It's just turned out that way. It's good to hear from other people in similar positions. I feel for you as I know it's not easy. It's good to know I'm not alone. xoxox
It is good to hear from other people who are in similar situations. I often feel so alone.
Today Mum has been saying how she worries about how I will manage when she is no longer here. Of course it has crossed my mind, but I also really do NOT want or have any plans on still being here then. Her and my animals are the only reasons why I haven't CTB yet.
Honestly not where I thought I'd be when I was this age,not that I knew completely but I figured I would be independent, working, driving and contributing to society.
XxxxxX

I get that PIP, but people who are working get it too, so why should their be a stigma its fucking frustrating
I understand completely. Many see those on benefits as scroungers, even though there are people who work receive benefits. Just one of those things that people seem to think.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Huntfish34
J

jessisme

Specialist
Dec 3, 2022
382
It is good to hear from other people who are in similar situations. I often feel so alone.
Today Mum has been saying how she worries about how I will manage when she is no longer here. Of course it has crossed my mind, but I also really do NOT want or have any plans on still being here then. Her and my animals are the only reasons why I haven't CTB yet.
Honestly not where I thought I'd be when I was this age,not that I knew completely but I figured I would be independent, working, driving and contributing to society.
XxxxxX


I understand completely. Many see those on benefits as scroungers, even though there are people who work receive benefits. Just one of those things that people seem to think.

Yes I thought I would be in a successful career at the very least have a job. I look around and all of my peers seem to these successful careers, houses, spouses, kids, vehicles, etc… I sincerely don't know how they manage it all when it's all I can do to get up showered and dressed. It would be nice to be independent but I have been dependent for so long now (about ten years) that it is all I know and with the way my mental illness affects me I don't know how I would manage any different. It's sad and I hate feeling different like I am. I hate being ashamed of the way my life is. My mother doesn't talk about my life after her passing although she must have thought about it before: it must have crossed her mind at least once. In general she doesn't like thinking about unpleasant things so that might be why it hasn't come up. It's important to me to ctb before she goes into some sort of retirement home living situation. When she does I will be homeless, destitute and left to struggle in the streets on my own. She will know that is my situation and there will be nothing that she could do about it. Needless to say that is not a desirable situation for anyone and I really have to be sure that I am able to ctb before that happens. I have my SN but I haven't gotten the will to do it yet.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Huntfish34 and Secret
Judy Garland

Judy Garland

HoHum
Mar 23, 2022
826
It is good to hear from other people who are in similar situations. I often feel so alone.
Today Mum has been saying how she worries about how I will manage when she is no longer here. Of course it has crossed my mind, but I also really do NOT want or have any plans on still being here then. Her and my animals are the only reasons why I haven't CTB yet.
Honestly not where I thought I'd be when I was this age,not that I knew completely but I figured I would be independent, working, driving and contributing to society.
XxxxxX


I understand completely. Many see those on benefits as scroungers, even though there are people who work receive benefits. Just one of those things that people seem to think.
Yes I thought I would be in a successful career at the very least have a job. I look around and all of my peers seem to these successful careers, houses, spouses, kids, vehicles, etc… I sincerely don't know how they manage it all when it's all I can do to get up showered and dressed. It would be nice to be independent but I have been dependent for so long now (about ten years) that it is all I know and with the way my mental illness affects me I don't know how I would manage any different. It's sad and I hate feeling different like I am. I hate being ashamed of the way my life is. My mother doesn't talk about my life after her passing although she must have thought about it before: it must have crossed her mind at least once. In general she doesn't like thinking about unpleasant things so that might be why it hasn't come up. It's important to me to ctb before she goes into some sort of retirement home living situation. When she does I will be homeless, destitute and left to struggle in the streets on my own. She will know that is my situation and there will be nothing that she could do about it. Needless to say that is not a desirable situation for anyone and I really have to be sure that I am able to ctb before that happens. I have my SN but I haven't gotten the will to do it yet.
I'm applying for disability here in the US. I tried to start an application online but their system is messed up so I have to call tomorrow. I don't know what I'm in for but I know the process is long and tedious. And yes, anyone who hears that I'm not working and applying for disability judges me. I was just diagnosed with schizophrenia in the past year. I was told that I would be denied and I would have to appeal when the time comes because apparently the majority of people get denied first time around. I'm not in the mood for this. I just want it all to be over. I just want death. Sweet death.
 
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: Huntfish34, jessisme and Ilayis
Ilayis

Ilayis

SuicidalManPup
Sep 4, 2022
36
I had a job for the last 1 1/2 yrs kind of working as a team but mostly alone at the same time. Lost it 3 weeks ago due to massive downsizing. I've lost many many jobs do to my major depression and suicidal issues in the past though. Hell I almost lost this one a couple times(especially during holiday depression). Just end up becoming a self mute and hardly able to work so everyone thought I was just being a lazy asshole!!
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Huntfish34, Judy Garland, jessisme and 1 other person
R

RaspberriesLL

Member
Jun 27, 2022
26
I'm part time employed in McDonald's which is such a toxic environment and sucks.
Yeah I bet it's really hard having to deal with rude customers. Hope you find something else that isn't so toxic.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Huntfish34 and Whole-Ad
Darkover

Darkover

Archangel
Jul 29, 2021
5,576
i've never worked in my 36 years alive since my 18th i've been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia
been on disability and still on it, but i love to program computers into i got a brain injury in 2016 just after my 30th birthday
so can't even program anymore i did write software and release it to the public which had over 100k download plus i made 10k profit
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Huntfish34
ohtwoait

ohtwoait

actual cyborg
Jan 20, 2023
14
Anyone else in the "Not mentally able to work, but looking for a job anyway" camp? I got fired a month or so ago due to laziness being too depressed/anxious/??? to survive at work, and as far as I can tell the problem's slowly getting worse (the last time I left the house I was literally shaking despite never being scared of going out before), but I have to continue the job search anyway because, yknow, rent >.<

It's kinda my dream to be a vtuber or maybe an artist taking commissions someday, but they both seem like such unachievable goals, especially considering that I might just CTB due to getting evicted or something before that ever happens 😓
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Huntfish34 and 5417807
5417807

5417807

Dumb Dog
Jan 11, 2023
76
Technically I have no job (I don't get payed for it) but I'm a stay at home father. I ended up having a psychotic episode last time I was in full time employment because of work related stress. I like being a stay at home father though, much nicer then working a shitty job that worsens my mental and physical health conditions
 
  • Love
Reactions: Soulless Angel and Huntfish34
J

JM2RXA

Member
Jan 21, 2023
49
I have a job, a fairly senior position, but despite as accommodating work are for time off, I'm probably going to be let go sooner or later with the amount of time I'm having to have off.
 
ShanaRei

ShanaRei

Some day my prince (of death) will come
Nov 17, 2022
55
I worked until 2020 when Covid ruined everything. Worked freelance for a few years but it's been one tragedy after tragedy and I'm not sure what else to do. I only really have skills in retail and that was what killed my MH in the first place so I have no desire to go back to that.
 

Similar threads

P
Replies
11
Views
296
Offtopic
cemeteryismyhome
cemeteryismyhome
N
Replies
2
Views
103
Recovery
Sabrinaxox
Sabrinaxox
B
Replies
2
Views
237
Suicide Discussion
ceilng_tile
C
meloncholia
Replies
40
Views
1K
Suicide Discussion
divinemistress36
divinemistress36
EternalShore
Venting Awful at Jobs
Replies
2
Views
255
Recovery
NicoRTG
NicoRTG