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I have suicidal thoughts because others exclude me for my apperance


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    33
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G

Galam

Member
Aug 19, 2025
35
Hi there, if you are interested you can give a vote. Maybe my english is bad, sorry for that.

I am here (have suicidal thoughts since age 10) because other people don't want to connect with me. They don't want to give me opportunities. Not all said why but their reactions and few rude people always make it obvious, it is my face, hair, head. They see me as ugly 99%.

Other reasons are low IQ/none or unproductive skills and poverty. I suffer from Fetal Alcohol Syndrom and have other issues. For normal people my eyes and forehead are to big, my hair damaged. I was diagnosed with androgenetic Alopezia and sebborroic Dermatitis.
I also suffer from bad body odor.

It is unlikely that I find ever any partner. Maybe I become homeless and other fitter people (mostly men) attack me then before I could reach a place where a possible companion lives.

Not long ago was attacked by policemen, they put me injured into asylum and male and female mental health workers in asylum and some patients bullied me ther too.

I get no compensation for anything bad that happened in my life, towards me. Nobody in my life showed empathy, maybe few pity but this is not the same. I have also no health care because doctors don't want to help me. I am seen by middle-class people as trash and elite-class people don't see me at all, because I hide most of my lifetime in my room like some Insect. A Spider or so. I am either alone or I am abused when with other people.

I always feel when people are disgusted with me or feel strange and want that I go. I do nothing strange. In most cases their problem with me is just my face.
 
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deep-sleeper

deep-sleeper

Member
Aug 16, 2025
53
I got excluded for being ugly, weird, frail and emotional

Though every once in a while I had someone who had pity on me and became a friend

And my parents dislike me for being this way as well
 
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Dejected 55

Dejected 55

Enlightened
May 7, 2025
1,130
I often think I am ugly... sometimes I'm not as ugly as I think I am... but in either case, I don't think any of the years of my misery have been caused by being ugly. It's just an also-I'm-ugly thing that I have to deal with on top of everything else... and I don't think if I was conventionally handsome it would have made a bit of difference in how my life has turned out.
 
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shampoo sniffer

shampoo sniffer

Member
Aug 10, 2025
24
I'm average looking in terms of bone structure. But I have extremely pale skin (always have) and dark rings around my eyes. I don't wear makeup so I would guess I am not conventionally attractive looking for a female.
 
nool

nool

He who has not tasted grapes says sour
Aug 17, 2025
41
I've always known I'm ugly. I've always known I will forever be ugly. I isolate myself so nobody has to look at me, which leads to loneliness, which then feeds into my suicidal thoughts. It isn't my biggest reason for wanting to ctb, but it does play a part.
 
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Dejected 55

Dejected 55

Enlightened
May 7, 2025
1,130
I'm average looking in terms of bone structure. But I have extremely pale skin (always have) and dark rings around my eyes. I don't wear makeup so I would guess I am not conventionally attractive looking for a female.
Sometimes extremes really work, but can be intimidating to others. I happen to like pale skin... at the same time, there was that dark-skinned model a while back who was so black its almost like she disappeared on the other end of the spectrum. She was gorgeous but initially had been discriminated against by modeling agencies until someone realized she was a gold mine with her unique look and beauty.
 
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thelastmessiah

thelastmessiah

nihil nihil nihil, this swansong towards nothing
Jun 15, 2025
24
My looks are somewhere around average but my autism alone is too much for most people. There was this one guy in high school who didn't know at first I was autistic and was making small talk here and there seemingly in an attempt to befriend me but it didn't last long at all. It was probably a combination of me coming off as awkward and autistic and other people telling him about me which made him quickly switch to what everyone else did by ignoring and saying nothing to me and on the rare occasion they say anything it's done condescendingly like I'm a child. Learning what the word condescending meant at 8 or so was quite the revelation for me because I finally had a word which describes how everyone treats me. I wasn't straight up bullied much but my situation still isn't very good.
 
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