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Placo

Placo

Life and Death
Feb 14, 2024
905
I was initially thinking of SN but in the end it is valid for all methods, how many have a method in the drawer ready but have no intention of killing themselves at the moment? In my case I have SN literally in the drawer but at the moment I would first like to try some other remedy for depression before killing myself.
 
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Manic Panic

Manic Panic

Deaths Embrace
Jan 5, 2025
730
I have ways to go at anytime but it hasn't gotten bad enough for me to want to do anything just yet.
 
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SchrodingerIsDed

SchrodingerIsDed

Arcanist
Feb 17, 2025
417
I was initially thinking of SN but in the end it is valid for all methods, how many have a method in the drawer ready but have no intention of killing themselves at the moment? In my case I have SN literally in the drawer but at the moment I would first like to try some other remedy for depression before killing myself.
I have all the materials needed. I just need meto, really. Then I'm GTG. The only thing is yeah SI is a bitch, and there's no real mandate for me to do it ASAP. It usually requires an emotional trigger, right, something to severe that it makes you feel like you have to do it then and there, SI be damned.

So when I get the final materials. I'm also going to make it into a kit, that way it's easy to take. Not just the material sitting in the drawer, but ALL the materials needed in the specific order they're needed, already broken down to their most consumable form (barring stability issues like sn in water).

Then, when it's time, I'll drink some alcohol, just enough to get emotions flowing freely hopefully that won't interfere with sn but prolly will make me more likely to vomit, but then I'll play sad music, and I'll reflect on the worst points of my life, the worst points that are bound to occur in the future, and my worst mistakes, until the depression and sadness and fear grow so palpable that I have no choice but to take the already prepared substances.

Then shoot myself in the heart, twice, if possible. Not taking any chances. Plus I think attacking my heart is romantic. The world never took my breath away. It only destroyed my heart.

Ironically this might also be the reverse script for surviving suicidal thoughts. Just focus on the good shit. If it's all about emotional regulation.
 
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NearlyIrrelevantCake

NearlyIrrelevantCake

The Cake Is A Lie
Aug 12, 2021
1,795
My ligature is already made and is just chilling on my bookshelf for when it feels right.
 
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K

Kbeau

Specialist
Jan 17, 2021
331
I was initially thinking of SN but in the end it is valid for all methods, how many have a method in the drawer ready but have no intention of killing themselves at the moment? In my case I have SN literally in the drawer but at the moment I would first like to try some other remedy for depression before killing myself.
What have you tried for treating depression? Because there are things well beyond anti-depressants, like ECT, Ketamine infusion therapy, etc
 
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Placo

Placo

Life and Death
Feb 14, 2024
905
What have you tried for treating depression? Because there are things well beyond anti-depressants, like ECT, Ketamine infusion therapy, etc
Many types of psychotropic drugs including both antidepressants and low-dose antipsychotics.

I have also tried esketamine for a few months now.

Now the hope is more for MAOIs which are more dangerous but also more powerful.
 
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K

Kbeau

Specialist
Jan 17, 2021
331
Many types of psychotropic drugs including both antidepressants and low-dose antipsychotics.

I have also tried esketamine for a few months now.

Now the hope is more for MAOIs which are more dangerous but also more powerful.
Yeah, MAOIs are definitely getting to the bottom of shit to try. Sorry for your pain
 
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divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Angelic
Jan 1, 2024
4,718
Yes , sn and meds for it in closet for when I get the balls one day
 
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LittleNelson

LittleNelson

Member
Dec 18, 2021
43
I have my SN safely stored away. I think I've always known that someday I would end my life but I feel like I can't right now. My mother is ill and I'm the only one who can take care of her.
 
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davidtorez

davidtorez

Warlock
Mar 8, 2024
705
My N has been in the fridge since 2018. The more the years go on, the more physically crippled I'm getting with my osteoarthritis and tendonosis in my most of my joints. This year may be my year but who knows? Got the meto and ondansetron ready too. Just need the courage .
 
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onthefence

onthefence

Actually… sobbing on the floor
Dec 31, 2024
227
I have what I think I need but am not 100% confident in my method. I also can't leave because it would leave a person in a really bad situation. I'm starting to feel like being selfish though and just checking out anyway.
 
blackIronPrison

blackIronPrison

Member
Mar 2, 2025
40
I thought I was ready but evidently I'm not else I think I would have succeeded already. I don't have anything I'm waiting for, no dependents or anything like that, I don't have much guilt around family members feeling grief (idc if that makes me a bad person). Honestly I think I may just be afraid. Only time will tell ig.
 
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
12,285
I've had everything ready for 2 years now but, I'm waiting for my Dad to go first. Really, I want to prepare a backup method also but, I can't settle on what.
 
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timorousTruant

timorousTruant

Azoidant
Nov 18, 2022
100
I have SN and meto stashed away, but right now I'm still at the stage of trying to overcome SI. I didn't realize how scared I'd truly be until I actually had a method readily available to take any time.
 
W

wiggy

Experienced
Jan 6, 2025
247
I'm motivated by external circumstances, so I won't do anything until I have to.
 
S

Soontocatch

Member
Feb 20, 2025
43
I have everything ready and I basically am waiting for the right time,so that if it does fail it doesn't ruin my life to a point that I can't recover out of.
 
XdragonsoulX

XdragonsoulX

Vengeance Incarnate
Apr 13, 2022
158
Got my rope hidden away I hope I never have to use it but I feel it's close
 
JesiBel

JesiBel

protoTYPE:4rp14
Dec 5, 2024
751
I also have all the materials ready. A month ago I bought the rope, I have already written some letters, I saved money, I left a piece of fabric ready to cover my face, now everything is in my closet waiting for the moment.
 
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meso

meso

Member
Feb 27, 2025
22
the method is ready

instructions, cleaning my life etc will be done the month before ctb

the waiting is exhausting, i never planned a 100% chosen and 80% efficient CTB, for 3 months i'll be facing death, i will talk to loved ones about future even tho i already know i'm going, i feel like a ghost
 
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KillingPain267

KillingPain267

Visionary
Apr 15, 2024
2,017
I was initially thinking of SN but in the end it is valid for all methods, how many have a method in the drawer ready but have no intention of killing themselves at the moment? In my case I have SN literally in the drawer but at the moment I would first like to try some other remedy for depression before killing myself.
Totally same. I'm in the process of buying SN and meto and a little safety box to store it in. That'll give me more peace. And then I am about to switch antidepressives to try something new. I also found a guy in Telegram who sells illegal handguns, but it sounds tol risky. If it's not a setup, having one and storing it sounds so cool, but even then I won't have peace because the cops might come looking for it if the seller gets arrested, because they want the hardware off the street. Or what, do you think I should take the risk and buy it and store it? I can't get the thought out of my head.
 
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Pluto

Pluto

Cat Extremist
Dec 27, 2020
5,221
passed-out-cat-with-tongue-out-captioned-as-he-put-the-pro-in-procrastination
 
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deadbidaylight

deadbidaylight

And the sun will set for you
Feb 27, 2025
535
My method of choice is hanging, so I have the means whenever I wanted to follow through with it. I own my house so I don't have to worry about roommates or parents etc (yay old!). I could literally do it tonight if I wanted to.

I am actively trying not to because of my child. I really don't WANT to die. I feel like I do, but I know I don't actually want to leave her or my family. I'm terrified of impulsively trying it out and actually dying by mistake, so I won't even attempt to see what it feels like.

Although I'm horribly depressed and suicidal and have been for years, I'm trying to make a difference being on here by being a support for folks that really need it. I'm not here to talk anyone out of it, I want to make a difference even if it's during their final minutes on earth. I want people to feel support and love regardless of their situation. That's what's keeping me going.
 
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O

outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,865
Nitrogen set up ready to go for 2.5 years now, I'm just meandering around, living a life in slow motion, never really looking forward to anything, tired of getting tears in my eyes thinking of her death, tired now of a lot of things.....
 
C

cooked825

Member
Feb 21, 2025
16
I have everything for SN ready except for anti nausea and hotel room booking the 1 percent stopping me is what it will do to loved ones that have stuck by me through a tough life but more so a very tough 4 years… so hard nearly booked hotel room yesterday but it's inevitable…
 
uta

uta

Member
Feb 21, 2025
28
I do and I'd like to acquire more options, but don't plan on attempting anytime soon because of family
 
O

Outofoptions1

Member
Feb 22, 2025
83
My N has been in the fridge since 2018. The more the years go on, the more physically crippled I'm getting with my osteoarthritis and tendonosis in my most of my joints. This year may be my year but who knows? Got the meto and ondansetron ready too. Just need the courage .
How old are you if you don't mind me asking. I'm 32 and terrified of my joint pain becoming worse
 
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davidtorez

davidtorez

Warlock
Mar 8, 2024
705
How old are you if you don't mind me asking. I'm 32 and terrified of my joint pain becoming worse
I'm 43. My joint issues started in my late 30s . Osteoarthritis and tendonosis in most of my joints from being overly active in my 20s and 30s, martial arts and weight lifting mostly. So what's your story , if you don't mind me asking ?
 
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S

SWATKATS

Member
Jan 18, 2025
7
My N has been in the fridge since 2018. The more the years go on, the more physically crippled I'm getting with my osteoarthritis and tendonosis in my most of my joints. This year may be my year but who knows? Got the meto and ondansetron ready too. Just need the courage .
Sorry to hear about your struggle, my body is beginning to break down as well. I barely can make it out the front door. Even just laying in bed causes my legs to burn. Just a year ago I was very active, with no issues. Unfortunately,, no one's sure what is causing my neuropathy and as time passes it becomes irreversible. I wish could walk into a clinic that offers voluntary assisted dying.
 
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