How many attempts did you have by now?

[Sheeanabrugh]

I've probably attempted to ctb more than 20 times, of which two were really serious. The first time I put my head into a noose was probably at the age of 13 or 14. A few times I tried to strangle myself with a scarf or a pantyhose, but that was rather just to try out. At 15 I almost died of partial hanging but was found, already unconscious, by my father. Two years ago I tried full suspension when I was drunk, and I managed to abort that attempt due to pain and panic

None, and jealous of people who have the guts

 

[alivefornow]

Zero serious attempts.

I did partial hanging twice until limbs went cold and numb, stood on a 14-story ledge and bought SN (got caught the same day and committed to a psych ward).

Still have suicidal thoughts every day, it's been almost two years of not feeling anything good. Felt sad and depressed most of my life.

 

[Minsu]

0 so far

 

[HeartThatFeeds]

Honestly I can't even count anymore, I wouldn't consider alot of my attempts real life threatening attempts persay, but they still count to me personally just because of the fact I was trying to end my life (even if they definitely wouldn't work out)

 

[merc5361]

Zero serious attempts.

I did partial hanging twice until limbs went cold and numb, stood on a 14-story ledge and bought SN (got caught the same day and committed to a psych ward).

Still have suicidal thoughts every day, it's been almost two years of not feeling anything good. Felt sad and depressed most of my life.

I would say hanging until your limbs grow cold and numb would be considered as a serious attempt.

How did you get caught buying SN? I'm worried about this too, since I want to order it to a residential address

 

[Thisisnotaname]

2

 

[Davey40210]

Your second attempt turned out pretty similarly to mine. Unfortunately, I miscalculated the time difference and sent my scheduled message to my only friend too early. He called police and EMS to my place 20 minutes before I managed to CTB.

I wonder why people set the timer so close. The email to my siblings is not until a week later. Why do it so close? Most likely someone else will find you anyway and the message to your friend can simply be an explanation giving them closure + some help to take care of your affairs.

 

[Lady Laudanum]

I wonder why people set the timer so close. The email to my siblings is not until a week later. Why do it so close? Most likely someone else will find you anyway and the message to your friend can simply be an explanation giving them closure + some help to take care of your affairs.

Because I wanted my body to be removed from my apartment as soon as possible (while still giving me enough time to guarantee death by hanging), so that corneas could still be viable for transplantation. They're only viable for 6 hours at most, if I recall correctly.

 

[Davey40210]

Because I wanted my body to be removed from my apartment as soon as possible (while still giving me enough time to guarantee death by hanging), so that corneas could still be viable for transplantation. They're only viable for 6 hours at most, if I recall correctly.

OK, I understand. So nice how you are still thinking about other people while you are in the situation you are.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

I am at 0 because I want to iron out a plan as perfect as I can possible come up with. I want it to go just right. Then if that fails I will go and see what can be changed/improved or done if I don't end up paralyzed for life. My one shot has to be accurate...

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I never attempted yet. When I do attempt, I hope that it becomes successful so that I never have to suffer again

 

[Davey40210]

I am at 0 because I want to iron out a plan as perfect as I can possible come up with. I want it to go just right. Then if that fails I will go and see what can be changed/improved or done if I don't end up paralyzed for life. My one shot has to be accurate...

Same. I tried several times in the last few days through partial hanging but if it doesn't work there you just get up and nobody knows.

 

[SylveonFan]

Honestly ive attempted alot, first time led me to the ER, but the others havent. Alot times ive tried with partial hanging, and shooting myself. Just could never do it. I recently tried full suspension and it was horrible.

 

[Pachuri]

Twice, maybe.
The first at around age 7-8. Cut the end off a power cord, held exposed part and plugged it in. Heard a very loud pop but nothing else happened. I do remember the sudden rush sensation of my blood running cold and then crying my eyes out. I didn't really have any plan aside from "electricity kills you dead", so I question if that even counts.
The second at age 15, tried partial suspension hanging but after what was in actuality probably only ten seconds I felt suddenly as if everything was so far away and the problems didn't matter any more. That's the survival instinct that people always talk about?

 

[Gstreater]

3

 

[bookie]

1

 

[Ironborn]

One drowning attempt that I survived due to blind luck.
Tried to drink myself to death a few times, mixed with painkillers but I seem to be kinda resistant to it.
Last few months done a couple trial runs with the night night method, got light headed and struggled to release the ratchet strap I use but I'm confident if I fully commit even if my SI kicks in I won't be able to get free.

 

[Ol Messier 87]

½...
One night when I was 21, I went to my best friend's apartment, and gave him all my stuff that he might be interested in, then I went to the train station, drank two thirds of a bottle of vodka, and waited in the cold for a train to come by. Five hours later, not one train; I went home, and when I woke up early in the morning, I wasn't in such a hurry to die.
½...

 

[ayanti]

Zero as of now. But I've considered many methods.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm going to be of the "one and done" crowd. Have the utmost confidence.

 

[EternalSkies]

One I made tea using foxglove. I tried making omelet with foxglove after that too tho

 

[sugarb]

Zero, attempting and failing is out of the question

 

[M4rii]

I think I had two, but I was too young to understand that normal tablets were useless

 

[Illegal Preclear]

I am at 0 because I want to iron out a plan as perfect as I can possible come up with. I want it to go just right. Then if that fails I will go and see what can be changed/improved or done if I don't end up paralyzed for life. My one shot has to be accurate...

Same here. You wouldn't think so given I've been locked in a Psychiatric Institutions 14 times, but I've had 0 attempts and 0 open threats. Given my lengthy psych rapsheet though, I HAVE to get it right the first time. Either that, or make damn sure no one ever knows I attempted and failed, but - I really, really, really want to get it right the first time.

The only two methods I've considered are a firearm or full suspension hanging. I unfortunately have no way of legally obtaining a firearm, but full suspension hanging I have all the materials for. I already have my rope, and am very lucky to live in a house with an iron railing over a high doorway. I haven't attempted with it yet, but I have "practiced" tightening the noose around my neck to get used to how cutting off the arteries feels. I'm planning on also using Partial as a way to up the practice, but am going with classic, stool kicked out from underneath with no bailout points hanging when the day comes.

The serious ones I can remember was putting a gun to my head several times when I was 10, 12, 16, 18, and 20 but pussying out with my finger only slightly pressing against the trigger.

You bring up a good point. If I had a shotgun right now, what would actually happen if I put it in my mouth and put my finger on the trigger? I wonder if I would freeze up too. Since I've never attempted, I don't know what full blown SI feels like. I still would prefer a firearm to hanging though.

I'm going to be of the "one and done" crowd. Have the utmost confidence.

I remember (I think) you saying you had a firearm right? If so - yes, you will probably be one of the 'one and done' crowd. You are very lucky! (I'm jealous lol).

I have two takeaways from this thread: 1) Choose a method with no bailout points, as terrifying as that may seem. (ie Partial, which CAN work, but that pesky SI is going to make you want to bail out no matter how much you consciously want to CTB). This also includes making sure your phone is far away from you.

2) If you're going to OD - make sure to go for a high dose of Fentanyl. Unless it's Fetty, I see next to no successful ODs.

 

[nails]

like 4 or 5 half-assed, impulsive attempts. 2 serious, planned attempts.

i think there were even more half-assed attempts but i don't even want to count them, lol.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I remember (I think) you saying you had a firearm right? If so - yes, you will probably be one of the 'one and done' crowd. You are very lucky! (I'm jealous lol).

I have two takeaways from this thread: 1) Choose a method with no bailout points, as terrifying as that may seem. (ie Partial, which CAN work, but that pesky SI is going to make you want to bail out no matter how much you consciously want to CTB). This also includes making sure your phone is far away from you.

2) If you're going to OD - make sure to go for a high dose of Fentanyl. Unless it's Fetty, I see next to no successful ODs.

I have several firearms. They're not my primary method. I wouldn't hesitate to use one, though, if something did happen (healthwise) where I was unable to go through with my primary method of CO.

I agree with everything you said in point 1. Partial does lend itself to easier "bailouts" should one change their mind. I guess there are both pros and cons to that.

I know nothing about fentanyl, except what I've learned through SaSu and by follow-up reading. I'd have no idea how to even get it, what to look for, who to contact. Then there's the issue of knowing if what you got is even pure enough. Nembutal OD's, by and large, have been highly successful, but that's another nearly impossible drug to obtain. I think SN overdoses have been quite successful, too, as long as best known protocols are followed. It's probably not as peaceful as F or N, though.

 

[Illegal Preclear]

I agree with everything you said in point 1. Partial does lend itself to easier "bailouts" should one change their mind. I guess there are both pros and cons to that.

I think Partial has a lot of value as a way to 'practice' hanging to see if it's the method for you. And if you get lucky, you could be part of that small percentage of the population that can just get knocked out very easily and have it work right then and there!

I have several firearms. They're not my primary method. I wouldn't hesitate to use one, though, if something did happen (healthwise) where I was unable to go through with my primary method of CO.

I did not know that! I actually considered CO myself for a while. I just don't trust myself to be able to do it correctly.

I know nothing about fentanyl, except what I've learned through SaSu and by follow-up reading. I'd have no idea how to even get it, what to look for, who to contact. Then there's the issue of knowing if what you got is even pure enough. Nembutal OD's, by and large, have been highly successful, but that's another nearly impossible drug to obtain. I think SN overdoses have been quite successful, too, as long as best known protocols are followed. It's probably not as peaceful as F or N, though.

I just know Fentanyl is so deadly they use it in some states for executions now. Plus so many people OD on it by accident. Then I sought out stories of OD survivors who were brought back by Narcan and they basically said "there was no pain, everything just went black". That's the ideal death we're all looking for here. I feel like if you're someone who knows where to find drug connections (I am not one of those people) you can find Fentanyl.

SN is effective, but I think it's peacefulness is dependent on the person. Though I've heard more stories of it being peaceful to uncomfortable than 'it was excruciating.'

On the opposite side of that spectrum, there's always Potassium Cyanide. Which to my surprise, you can get fairly easily since it's used in gold mining. However, you're going to be in for a BRUTAL 5-15 minutes. It'll almost certainly be successful, but excruciatingly painful.

 

[willitpass]

Serious attempts: I suppose I'd say 4 now. I've always said three but I had what I'd consider a pretty damn serious attempt a couple weeks ago that should have probably received medical attention for.
Including the half ass ones or near attempts: too many to count.

 

[TakeMeToHeaven]

many of my sodium nitrite bags were discovered by my parents and thrown out

 

[Raven_Nevermore]

Unfortunately I lost count decades ago. Another reminder I can't get or do anything right…including kill myself. Another reminder that I'm the biggest fuck up ever! at myself