Story Have you ever been stopped by someone mid attempts, and did it change your perspective at all?

[Maormer]

I recently tried to end my life, it wasn't the first attempt and there's a good chance it wont be the last, but this time was different than past attempts. This time somebody was there to stop me. I don't think he knew he was saving my life, in fact i think he was mad at me. I had a place figured out, a small park with a beautify stream in the woods (I refuse to die without the sky above me). I wanted a place where I'd be surrounded by the plants and animals that I had grown to appreciate during my stay in this life. It should have been devoid of other humans (i wanted to involve as few people as i could). I made a point to wait until it was dark out, assuming the park would be empty. I had everything prepared: my note was written, I'd chose a nice dress to wear, I had done my hair up nice, but I didn't account for there being another person there. In the confusion and frustration of the moment i yelled out something to the effect of "are you fucking kidding me?!" and got back in my car, slammin the door behind me. I wanted to drive off to find another more private location, but as I pulled out, the person that had been in my chosen resting place followed me out. I drove for a good while with him following my car. I was starting to worry he had ill intions. He turned away when I got close to a police station. I'm sure this man did not want to help me, I'm sure he had no idea why I was there, hell, he might have even wanted to hurt me, but inadvertently he ended up saving my life. When I lost him i pulled into a high school parking lot and the absurdity of the situation broke me. Here I was, on my last day on earth, fully ready to kill myself and i get saved, not by some altruistic passerby but by a man angry that I had upset his privacy. I couldn't stop myself from laughing that how ridiculous the whole thing was. It snapped me out of things.

Its been two months now and I still don't know whether to thank or curse my angry stranger. Thanks to him I'll be able to see my sister get married and I'm so grateful for that. And thanks to him I have to live for god knows how much longer and I'm certainty not thrilled by that prospect. I still can't shake the feeling that I don't have much longer to live, maybe that's true or maybe its delusion, but maybe I got stopped for a reason. I cant help but wonder in maybe there's something I need to stay here for, even if its only for a little while longer. I dont know if i can get better or not. If past predicts future odds are I will try again, but I feel a strange obligatio to try to get better now. So many strangers were nice to be that night, I got a free sandwich, the lady who gave me my last cigarette laughed with me, a stranger told me she loved my hair. They're all small things but they make it hard to look back on that day with only bad feelings.

TLDR:
I'm still trying to process these emotions and i don't have many I can talk to about it so I'm curious if anyone here has had any similar experiences. Have you ever been "saved"? What are your feelings towards that person? Are you thankful towards them or do you feel ager? where did you go from there? Did it change how you thought about the end of your life, or even life in general?

 

[TBONTB]

Lovely art.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I was. I have conflicting feelings about it. They're generally someone I do my best not to think about any more. I think the worst part of it isn't so much that they stopped me, but rather that, in the end, they ended up leaving after assuring me that they would be there.

I don't really blame them so much for that though. I really do think they wanted to help. But I think they realized that they were not able to give me the sort of support I needed, and that trying to help me was messing with their own mental health.

That situation is probably the worst thing I've experienced in my life. It really messed me up for a long time, and I'm still not sure I'm completely over it. To be honest, I don't think I ever will be. I'm incredibly cautious with other people now, and I get very worried about people not liking me or potentially causing them problems. I put up a front to try to hide my sadder feelings so that hopefully people are not able to identify them in the way that person did. I was already like this before that happened, but I think that experience did ultimately end up dialing things up even further.

 

[whywere]

Yes, as the cops came into my apartment and took me to the hospital for a lovely couple of weeks of bad food, really bad medical folks and just a horrible experience.

To NOT ever do something on an emotional whim and to thoroughly think everything through with as little emotion attached to it as possible.

Walter

 

[Maormer]

Lovely art.

this this the artist who made it, https://www.instagram.com/moonialin/?hl=en. i really like her art style

 

[Eriktf]

i have been stopped a few times and yes it do seam like im not allowed to die yet, kinda given up to ctb

 

[alwaysalone]

Maybe they were trying to kill themselves as well or hide something or someone Good thing you got away