How long

[karel1987]

How long do you think of suicide? When did you do a failed attempt? Why you still here? Where the periods who where better?

 

[tronix]

So it's been years since my last obviously failed attempt. Probably a decade. But that doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about it for all these years.
Yes, at times, I was better, things were better. I thought I might have a happy life.

 

[CouldaHvBeenARock]

This is the second year I have thought of ctb
November of last year; partial suspension
Haven't had an opportunity to be home alone
Nope; still wish I was not here/succeed

 

[Praestat_Mori]

How long do you think of suicide? When did you do a failed attempt? Why you still here? Where the periods who where better?

Passive suicidal 5-6 years, on and off, depending on personal situation.

Active suicidal with my method since nearly 1 year, when I made my account here. I was ready and I had my method prepared but in the end I didn't even come close to the actual attempt. I ended up venting and not actually attempting.

I'm still here bc I didn't attempt, things calmed down and now I'm not really suicidal anymore (depending on my situation this is subject to change) - I have my method ready, just in case.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case I've never wished for something as undesirable as existence, even when I was very young I found so much comfort in the thought of eternally ceasing to exist, no matter what I'll always prefer the sound of the true peace of non-existence to suffering in this futile and cruel existence.
I've never tried to end my own existence properly because of lack of access to reliable methods and I'd fear trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse suffering, it's horrifying to think of that happening. And I'm not ill for preferring to not exist, so I don't understand what the "better" part refers to as existence itself is the true problem. In my case suicide is rational to find peace from the futile and torturous burden of existing as a human, I have no interest in suffering and in existence there is endless potential to suffer.